Between Blog Posts: Part 3

Over the past month I have been able to find a few second and even a few minutes here and there that have allowed me to let my mind meander about and pull together different images and glimpses into the lives of fictional characters. Even while trying to catch up on the blog, there were still a few much needed moments when I needed to take a momentarily creative leave from reality. It is still unclear as to what will be done with all of these little pieces and whether they tie together somehow or if they are completely separate stories. So, following my notes from New Jersey Transit uncovered in the beginning of August, part 1 recorded in the middle of the month, and part 2 published a couple of weeks ago, I bring you another installment in this sporadic series.

6AM

The neighborhood kids called him Mr. Brown but he had many different monikers throughout his life. Whenever they would call his name in the morning he would turn his head and give him them a slight smile. No one said anything else to him. They let him be and simply watched in silence as he went about his morning routine.

He peered out the window each morning at 6am looking up at the sky. When the sun shone on the horizon he would put on his slippers, a coat when the weather turned bitter, and opened the front door with a slow and deliberate precision that baffled those watching.

His purposeful steps didn’t take him far. They carried him to the corner of his walkway and into a gravel bed surrounding his flag pole. Her he would take the flag tucked under his arm, unfold it, and raise the stars and stripes in a way that is familiar to few but respected by all who witness the ceremony.

Every morning he would pause at half-mast with a kind sadness in his eyes that revealed much more about his routine. In a moment of stillness he seemed to mutter almost apologetically before hoisting the flag to the top of the pole. Securing the rope with a figure eight and solitary knot, he would then turn and return to the front door stiffly closing it behind him as if trying to keep out the memories.

When the sky prepares to succumb to the night everyone watches as he emerges from behind his seclusion almost with a sense of relief that the evening will soon descend and another day will end in silence. He returns the flag to the earth folding into a precise triangle, tucked it under his arm, and carried it with reverence back into his home.

As the amber deepens into red and before the purple hue of dusk, a small glimmer of yellow can be seen waiving lightly from the trunk of his oak tree seemingly giving farewell. The same bitter parting he was offered when his son was deployed.

And now the tattered ribbon tethers the memories of a neighborhood as they all remember the jovial laugh that would fill the small street every time Mr. Brown came home from work. A laugh that only lives in distance echoes. But now there is only night. Now there is only silence. For one more day.

Between Blog Posts: Part 2

Earlier in the month I shared some story notes that I uncovered during a bout of digital archaeology and last week I posted another piece that I jotted down between a couple of blog posts and projects. Well, it happened again. While doing some work and personal research this past week, a small light began flickering in my mind like a projector and played a small scene for me. All that was shone is what is recorded below. This, like the other ideas recorded on this blog, might be interesting to pursue when I have a little more time to commit to this type of writing. But, for now, here is what was played for me…

5AM

Jim was never a morning person and never pretended to be one unless he was applying for a job. This was the conflict that stirred in his mind as the alarm echoed off the empty apartment walls.

He kicked the soiled sheets to the other side of the bed and placed his hand in the cold empty hollow in the mattress next to him. It almost didn’t feel like it was worth it to try and get up but he could stand the thought of lying there alone.

As he staggered to his feet the faux floor whined between his toes. In the bathroom he plunged his worn face in the stagnant sink filled with the same water that had been lingering for days.

The spotted mirror told him all he needed to know reflecting his shadow riddled eyes buried behind his beard.

He rustled through his clothes looking for something that could pass as presentable, something that may have appeared on a store shelf in the last twenty years.

Cleaned and dressed to the standard that had haunted him for the past three years, he opened his bedroom door and walked down the short moonlit hallway to the stack of disposable bowls awaiting him in the kitchen. Like the hundreds of days before, he opened the only stocked cabinet, pulled out a box, and watched the sweet processed puffs as they piled into the paper vessel.

Some people take great care with their diet, Jim was not one of those people.

By the time the sun had begun to inch over the horizon, he was already walking deliberately down the stairs, step by step, counting each one as if the total would be different than all the other days.

The orange and red of the sky surprised him and a smile nearly curled the corners of his mouth when it was quickly slapped from his face by the noise of the city. His simple routine had taken him nearly two hours and now the remaining minutes of the early morning were few and precious.

While little had changed that morning maybe the day would be different. Maybe this would be the day when the burdens of the past would be lifted. Maybe the events of the day would allow him to forget. Maybe this job would be different than the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that…

Between Blog Posts: Part 1

Recently, while going from one topic to the next whether that be at work or while writing about different topics for the blog I find my mind wandering a little bit into the other side of my brain. It’s almost as if it fell off that fine line that I am constantly walking between the two hemispheres and all of the sudden the ideas for stories begin flowing through my fingers. They are only glimpses but, like the rough ideas that I shared before which I uncovered in my computer, I wanted to share them here. After all, you never know what I might do with them…

4AM

Ben had been up all night with the only light shining on the dark country road being the one piercing through his kitchen window. The highway asphalt in the distance had been quite for hours and the autumnal wind carried with it the scent of the approaching season. His work was done, for now, but his labor was just beginning.

The hinges screamed as he pulled the front door toward him. A sound that had become all too familiar in recent weeks. But in that moment, in the darkness of morning, he was the only one who could hear the house shrieking.

His legs were heavy from the rigor of the night and while a fog filled his eyes his mind continued to meander through memories. It took an unexpected effort to traverse the walkway but he endured the haunting thoughts and failing limbs finally slumping over on the rusted trunk of his car. 

He swung open his creaking door and collapsed into the tattered driver’s seat. Turning the key he hoped that the engine would start just one more time. He had a lot of things to do that day but his only desire was to stay home. As the exhaust plumed in the rear view mirror he swallowed the last remanence of cold coffee, rubbed his eyes with his red hands, and slowly skidded down the leaf strewn driveway.

The winding road coddled his eyes while the pings of loose pavement kept his lids from closing. It wasn’t long before he could see the lights from the gas station emerge from the crest of the hill, people walking back to their cars with steaming cups, and the traffic light blinking yellow and red like a beacon on a desolate shore.

As he turned the corner he could hear a rumble cascading across the road. By the time he turned his head the truck had already breached the passenger door. His body was thrown across the intersection until finally resting face down in front of the weathered array of lingering campaign signs.

When the police arrived, they found nothing to identify him, a car which had disintegrated into an unrecognizable heap of scrap, and a heart that had long since stopped pumping. The only thing that they knew about him is what witnesses heard him gargle from between the blades of grass…    

“It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

Coming Soon: 1100!

It is a rather staggering figure when you think about it… 1100 blog posts in 1100 days. It is actually still amazing that I have been able to find something to write about on each of those days. Of course, there are clearly some days when one can tell that there wasn’t much to write about but sometimes that is what happens. It is a simple matter of having to work with the information given no matter how little that may be. For me, that means life is a lot like work.

On the other side of things, there have been quite a number of days when there are multiple events, thoughts, topics that I would like to write about. This usually has me pulling out my planner and trying to figure out where I can fit some of these subjects into the schedule. At times this is a rather easy problem to fix as the topics fit into some of the weekly themes. Other times, they are beyond the purview of these scheduled posts which leaves only a few days each week where they can be fit in.

I guess you could say that this is sometimes just part of the routine. However, the timeliness of topics can sometimes change things up. Also, the simple desire to write or not to write has to be taken into account. Topics can be a factor in this as there are times when I don’t have any desire to write about a topic that I previously planned no matter how rich the subject matter may be. This means that, for me, this blog is a lot like work.

All of that being said, somehow I have managed to put up a post for each day and, at least on occasion, these posts have resonated, entertained, of flat out pissed people off. However, more than that, it has started numerous conversations with people from around the world and with a wide variety of backgrounds because we share a common idea, interest, or opinion. Sometimes these communications have surprised me as I received praise for certain stances that I have taken on a variety of topics. Even those whom have disagreed with me have at least brought their own opinions to the fore and opened a dialog on specific topics.

This blog has always been a means of recording life and part of life is the wonderful conversations, experiences, and people that I have been able to meet along the way. So, in essence, this blog has been a means to enhance life and bring about experiences and provide introductions that I would have otherwise never had the opportunity to enjoy. It really is interesting how things come full circle in that regard and makes the time and effort that I have committed to these words worth much more than the modest investment streaming from the tips of my fingers.

3rd Blog Anniversary

It has been three years since I made the decision to start blogging again. At the time it was a means to keep my mind busy while working the night shift and, honestly, I didn’t expect it to last too long especially after I started working during the day again. Over the years there have been many moments when I have fallen behind, when I have questioned whether or not I wanted to keep posting, and if this was all worth the time and effort. Those doubts have surfaced more times than anyone realizes.

However, what was once a means to keep my mind active and prevent creative constipation is now much more than those basic founding reasons for keeping this blog going day after day. I have spoken on the importance of keeping a daily record of my life, no matter how mundane it may be, but there is also the simple fact that this has given me, for the most part, a routine amidst the sporadic chaos, a means to think through certain topics and situations, and, occasionally, a venue where I can vent both and share the good and the bad. While there have been moments that I have bit my tongue before writing (despite one of the main ‘rules’ that I set for myself in the beginning), this has been largely a free flow of topics and ideas.

Over the life of this blog, things have also evolved. What was once a free form venue with few rules, has morphed into a loose structure where there are certain topic for different days. This schedule has reinforced the original purpose of the blog in that not only am I forcing myself to write every day but I am pushing myself to consider specific topics every week. As has been evident, some weeks there is more fodder for a certain topic than others but, in general, it has pushed me to learn different things about topics which I am already interested in as well as give more thought to some of the routine events in my life. As a bonus, it has also given readers more guidance as there are some people who avoid certain days while other that only read about a topic or two that I cover.

At this point, I don’t see much changing in the coming year on this blog. While I am not in a position to guarantee anything, I plan on maintaining the daily pace, sticking to the 400 word minimum per post, and continuing to write about the weekly topics that many of you have come to expect. Beyond that everything is still up in the air. So, at this point I will finish this post with a simple thank you to all that have stopped by, those who read regularly, the people who leave comments (here, on social media, through email, and in person), and the people in my life who both inspire me to keep writing and tolerate the commitment that I continue to make to my writing.

We Are Getting There!

Well, we are almost there anyway. Tomorrow’s post will be the 900^th on this blog but, given the fact that it will fall on Veterans Day, today we will take a moment to look back on the journey and take stock of all that has happened since I started this growing collection of research, reflections, observations, and gripes. The only issue is that many of the posts, the past two and a half years, are all blurring together. There have been so many ups and downs, so many places and events, too many words to remember many of the specifics that I have covered over the days, weeks, months, and years.

I guess it would be best to look at what this blog has become. What was started as something to simply keep my mind occupied and my fingers moving, this site is now a place where I am able to collect my thoughts, decompress, gain perspective, and sometimes vent about what happened during the day or during the past week. Honestly, when I put the first word to paper I didn’t think much of the longevity of the blog (definitely not thinking it would last this long especially given the daily regularity).

Now I look at the time when I sit down to write, whether at the office or at home, as a way of relaxing regardless of the topic on which I may be focusing. Even the most animated posts have become something that has calmed me as I am forced to focus and put things in some semblance of an order. And, thankfully, since that first introduction in 2013, I have taken the time to set some stricter guidelines and carve out particular days of the week to cover certain topics. Usually today would be about my son but sometimes it is also good to break away from the rigidity.  

Now that I have gotten to this point I am even more determined to keep pushing each and every day. After all, reaching quadruple digits would be something rather astounding to me. And I know that many of you will be coming along for this push to 1000 as the monthly views show me that many of you are interested in one way or another for one reason or another. But for these next 100 I would prefer not having the spotlight to myself. I would like to read your words and share your stories on this blog (you will receive credit of course). Thank you all for the support during the FIRST 900… now let’s work together, share the spotlight, and knock out these next 100 together. Who knows, maybe I will have to do something special for number 1000.

A Milestone I Wasn’t Sure Would Happen

Seemed apropos. 

This is a blog that I did not expect that I would reach especially in the equivalent number of days. It was my original intent to do so but there were more than a few moments along the way when it seemed nearly impossible to keep up the pace. But here I am, 700 days and 700 posts later. What started as something to keep me occupied during the long nights behind the front desk has morphed into a cathartic daily exercise that has allowed me to vent, reflect, record, and sometimes just play with words.  

This space has allowed me to keep track of my various interests and maintain a record of my experiences in a variety of different areas. Some of the posts have been simple recounts of trips that my wife and I have taken or events that I have attended while others contain opinions on topics with which I am certain not everyone will agree. And there is everything else along the varied spectrum.

It is a given, as mentioned above, that there are many posts that I have struggled to write for one reason or another. Sometimes I just didn’t feel like writing while other times I wanted to write but couldn’t think of how to say something. And because it has been a daily process, there are many instances (too many to count) when I have found myself repeating the same point time and again… along those lines, I am sure that this post is similar to those that I wrote for the other centenary milestones.

In the end, it is a means to get things out and maintain my writing despite the obvious depletion of the minimal skills that I once possessed. It is also a way to start conversations with those that I know read these posts… some regularly and others on occasion. In these regards it is an incredibly self-serving endeavor and I have never denied that fact. After all, this is a collection of my experiences, opinions, discoveries, and interests.

However, things have changed a lot since I started recording my life… while it is still a record of my experiences and a number of my opinions it is also about my son and what I want to make sure I share with him. There is nothing that can replace the connection of telling him in person but there will inevitably be things that are overlooked and I don’t want to end up like Michael Keaton. While there are some topics and things that I haven’t written about there is a pretty broad range of posts that can sum up a large part of my life. The words on the screen/page and the act of writing tells much of my story and I want my son to know me, the good and the unpleasant, the passionate and the combative, the structured and the creative, everything.

Passing One Thousand!

Last month I was able to mark the 500^th post on this blog. Today I was able to mark a slightly different but very similar occasion in that, between this blog and Getting Your Phil, I have published one thousand blogs since this all started in late May of 2013 (of course, there were a few blogs before that point as well). Obviously, the Phillies-centric blog came a little later and there were a few days missed here and there.

It’s interesting to think about all the different things that have been said, statements that have been made, and questions that have been posed throughout that plethora of posts. While there have been many occasions when I have repeated myself and even the entire subject matter of the post but there have been a wide variety of things that have been said. Some have been good, some bad, but they are all out there just for the heck of it.

Tonight I ran into the new guy working at the front desk of our apartment building and over the natural course of introducing ourselves we found that we had the common interest of blogging. However, it was interesting to hear the different perspectives that we each had for doing this. While I write this largely rambling posts for the sake of writing and attempting to maintain my creativity, limited as it may now be, he has diverged into the for profit model.

It was this shift in his perspective that has caused him to lose the passion he once had for sharing his art and perspective to his community. The graphic arts, like writing, requires a passion for the practice rather than a desire to get paid. If the money follows that is just a bonus, but it cannot be the motivating factor that keeps you posting blog posts day after day.

I really hate when I see this same thing happen to creative people over and over again. The money gets in the way of the passion leaving them grasping for anything that they can get a hold of and doing all they can to maintain an ember burning. All too often, I have seen heat within them completely extinguished. We must maintain our passions and focus our energy on the creative process not the possibilities of monetary gain.

Money is not the means by which to measure the creative process. If we lose focus on that which we are creating we can no longer truly commit ourselves to our art (regardless of media or genre). One thousand blogs and that remains my motivation… that and providing proof that yes I did exist. But you already read about my true motivation in keeping this daily blog.

Considering A Few Changes

I have been thinking about making a few changes to the blog over the next month or two. The main problem is finding the time to roll those things out so that they might be sustainable. Additionally, there are certain instances where I have to educate myself as to what the heck I am doing and how certain things can be done.

The first change that I am slowly starting to line up is the presence of guest bloggers. In addition to providing a different perspective and expertise (both of which are lacking to this point) it will also, in theory, free up some of my time so that I can pursue some of the logistical aspects of other ideas and put greater thought into the posts that I would like to focus on. While I am not going to take anything and everything that is submitted, I welcome submissions for consideration.

Something else that I am considering is starting a Patreon campaign to, potentially, cover some of the costs of the existing themes (i.e. travel, research time, admission fees, etc.) but also grant me the flexibility to pursue some other ideas (product reviews, range days, videos, etc.). You may not realize it, but this endeavor is a costly one at times. While I don’t expect to ever make anything blogging, it would be nice to break even now and again.

For those unfamiliar with the site, Patreon is a way for people (patrons) to support the blog on an ongoing basis based on the amount of content that is posted. Basically, you can make the commitment to give one dollar per post (you can also set monthly limits such as ten or twenty dollars). Essentially, I would only earn support by maintaining production.

Patreon would also allow me to provide more content (exclusive to partons) which would largely consist of additional photographs from trips, maybe a few videos, live chats, and additional content from other projects I am working on. This seems to be the easiest way for me to leverage the excess of content that never makes it onto the blog. Of course, I would also try to include a few giveaways now and again to make things a little more interesting. So, with all that information, do you think that this is something that is worth pursuing? Would that be enough to make you interested in becoming a patron?  

Lastly, and I have to figure out the logistics of this one, I am thinking about implementing permanent ads. While AdSense provides such promotions I actually have limited control over what is posted. I would much rather invest the time supporting companies and organizations that I agree with. I consider this the no surprises ad approach… you know what you are going to see every time you go onto my blog. Of course this also brings about the challenge of transferring the content to an actual URL without the blogspot portion of the address (with redirect from the old URL as well). Definitely something that can be done (and rather easily by those who know what they are doing) but it is a task that I am ill equipped to handle. I would greatly appreciate someone willing to donate their time to this task!

So, that is the list of things that I am considering at this moment. However, I would like your feedback as to what you think of those potential changes to the blog. Is it too much? Am I missing anything? Let me know your thoughts. After all, you are the ones visiting and reading these daily posts.