Between Blog Posts: Part 3

Over the past month I have been able to find a few second and even a few minutes here and there that have allowed me to let my mind meander about and pull together different images and glimpses into the lives of fictional characters. Even while trying to catch up on the blog, there were still a few much needed moments when I needed to take a momentarily creative leave from reality. It is still unclear as to what will be done with all of these little pieces and whether they tie together somehow or if they are completely separate stories. So, following my notes from New Jersey Transit uncovered in the beginning of August, part 1 recorded in the middle of the month, and part 2 published a couple of weeks ago, I bring you another installment in this sporadic series.

6AM

The neighborhood kids called him Mr. Brown but he had many different monikers throughout his life. Whenever they would call his name in the morning he would turn his head and give him them a slight smile. No one said anything else to him. They let him be and simply watched in silence as he went about his morning routine.

He peered out the window each morning at 6am looking up at the sky. When the sun shone on the horizon he would put on his slippers, a coat when the weather turned bitter, and opened the front door with a slow and deliberate precision that baffled those watching.

His purposeful steps didn’t take him far. They carried him to the corner of his walkway and into a gravel bed surrounding his flag pole. Her he would take the flag tucked under his arm, unfold it, and raise the stars and stripes in a way that is familiar to few but respected by all who witness the ceremony.

Every morning he would pause at half-mast with a kind sadness in his eyes that revealed much more about his routine. In a moment of stillness he seemed to mutter almost apologetically before hoisting the flag to the top of the pole. Securing the rope with a figure eight and solitary knot, he would then turn and return to the front door stiffly closing it behind him as if trying to keep out the memories.

When the sky prepares to succumb to the night everyone watches as he emerges from behind his seclusion almost with a sense of relief that the evening will soon descend and another day will end in silence. He returns the flag to the earth folding into a precise triangle, tucked it under his arm, and carried it with reverence back into his home.

As the amber deepens into red and before the purple hue of dusk, a small glimmer of yellow can be seen waiving lightly from the trunk of his oak tree seemingly giving farewell. The same bitter parting he was offered when his son was deployed.

And now the tattered ribbon tethers the memories of a neighborhood as they all remember the jovial laugh that would fill the small street every time Mr. Brown came home from work. A laugh that only lives in distance echoes. But now there is only night. Now there is only silence. For one more day.

Between Blog Posts: Part 2

Earlier in the month I shared some story notes that I uncovered during a bout of digital archaeology and last week I posted another piece that I jotted down between a couple of blog posts and projects. Well, it happened again. While doing some work and personal research this past week, a small light began flickering in my mind like a projector and played a small scene for me. All that was shone is what is recorded below. This, like the other ideas recorded on this blog, might be interesting to pursue when I have a little more time to commit to this type of writing. But, for now, here is what was played for me…

5AM

Jim was never a morning person and never pretended to be one unless he was applying for a job. This was the conflict that stirred in his mind as the alarm echoed off the empty apartment walls.

He kicked the soiled sheets to the other side of the bed and placed his hand in the cold empty hollow in the mattress next to him. It almost didn’t feel like it was worth it to try and get up but he could stand the thought of lying there alone.

As he staggered to his feet the faux floor whined between his toes. In the bathroom he plunged his worn face in the stagnant sink filled with the same water that had been lingering for days.

The spotted mirror told him all he needed to know reflecting his shadow riddled eyes buried behind his beard.

He rustled through his clothes looking for something that could pass as presentable, something that may have appeared on a store shelf in the last twenty years.

Cleaned and dressed to the standard that had haunted him for the past three years, he opened his bedroom door and walked down the short moonlit hallway to the stack of disposable bowls awaiting him in the kitchen. Like the hundreds of days before, he opened the only stocked cabinet, pulled out a box, and watched the sweet processed puffs as they piled into the paper vessel.

Some people take great care with their diet, Jim was not one of those people.

By the time the sun had begun to inch over the horizon, he was already walking deliberately down the stairs, step by step, counting each one as if the total would be different than all the other days.

The orange and red of the sky surprised him and a smile nearly curled the corners of his mouth when it was quickly slapped from his face by the noise of the city. His simple routine had taken him nearly two hours and now the remaining minutes of the early morning were few and precious.

While little had changed that morning maybe the day would be different. Maybe this would be the day when the burdens of the past would be lifted. Maybe the events of the day would allow him to forget. Maybe this job would be different than the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that…

Between Blog Posts: Part 1

Recently, while going from one topic to the next whether that be at work or while writing about different topics for the blog I find my mind wandering a little bit into the other side of my brain. It’s almost as if it fell off that fine line that I am constantly walking between the two hemispheres and all of the sudden the ideas for stories begin flowing through my fingers. They are only glimpses but, like the rough ideas that I shared before which I uncovered in my computer, I wanted to share them here. After all, you never know what I might do with them…

4AM

Ben had been up all night with the only light shining on the dark country road being the one piercing through his kitchen window. The highway asphalt in the distance had been quite for hours and the autumnal wind carried with it the scent of the approaching season. His work was done, for now, but his labor was just beginning.

The hinges screamed as he pulled the front door toward him. A sound that had become all too familiar in recent weeks. But in that moment, in the darkness of morning, he was the only one who could hear the house shrieking.

His legs were heavy from the rigor of the night and while a fog filled his eyes his mind continued to meander through memories. It took an unexpected effort to traverse the walkway but he endured the haunting thoughts and failing limbs finally slumping over on the rusted trunk of his car. 

He swung open his creaking door and collapsed into the tattered driver’s seat. Turning the key he hoped that the engine would start just one more time. He had a lot of things to do that day but his only desire was to stay home. As the exhaust plumed in the rear view mirror he swallowed the last remanence of cold coffee, rubbed his eyes with his red hands, and slowly skidded down the leaf strewn driveway.

The winding road coddled his eyes while the pings of loose pavement kept his lids from closing. It wasn’t long before he could see the lights from the gas station emerge from the crest of the hill, people walking back to their cars with steaming cups, and the traffic light blinking yellow and red like a beacon on a desolate shore.

As he turned the corner he could hear a rumble cascading across the road. By the time he turned his head the truck had already breached the passenger door. His body was thrown across the intersection until finally resting face down in front of the weathered array of lingering campaign signs.

When the police arrived, they found nothing to identify him, a car which had disintegrated into an unrecognizable heap of scrap, and a heart that had long since stopped pumping. The only thing that they knew about him is what witnesses heard him gargle from between the blades of grass…    

“It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

Sunday Search: Paper Or Plastic

Over the past couple of weeks I have been scrambling to find documents and pictures both on my computer and in my files. It seems as though whenever I needed a physical copy I only had it digitally and whenever I needed a digital copy I could only find the physical one. It have just been one of those streaks but it also reminded me of the importance of the need to have family pictures and documents stored both physically and digitally. Simply put, you never know what might happen in the future and you don’t want to be in a position where you find yourself without all the research that you worked so hard to compile.

In my search for certain records and in the stories passed down the family, there are numerous examples of physical photos and files being destroyed by fire, water, or things that have simply vanished. All of these instances happened at a time when the digitization of these records was not possible making their loss permanent. There isn’t a week that goes by when I wonder what information could have been found in those records and the details that we will never have again.

On the other side of the equation. I have gotten to know a number of people in the genealogy community over the past few years and there have been moments when I have spoken to someone who had amassed a massive database of family history which they stored on their computer. Unfortunately, they had not gotten around to printing out all the documents and pictures when their computer crashed. While most of the time it is possible to retrieve the data from the hard drive, in this instance all the records were lost. All they were left with was a few physical pictures and documents here and there… they hadn’t even gotten up to loading everything on Ancestry. It was basically a return to the beginning.

While I am admittedly behind in this endeavor, I am slowly chipping away at syncing my research so that I have digital and physical copies of everything. Note that this includes storage on my computer and on an external hard drive. Once this has been achieved I will begin loading everything onto Ancestry. That’s not to say that I don’t load things to my tree from time to time but there is much more to be shared, more than most people in the family realize. Maybe I will be able to relax once this first big project is done and the ongoing maintenance becomes manageable. However, just stick to remembering the important thing… when someone asks you whether you prefer paper or plastic always pick both.

Mortgage Monday: House Files

When we first made an offer on the house one of the contingencies that we put in the contract was to have all the files related to the property. Given the simple fact that the people from which we were buying the property are the ones that built it (the former owner was actually the contractor for the house) and I had seen him produce the paperwork during the inspection process, I knew that the files would be thorough and we would be able to really know all the details about the land and the structure.

While inclusion of this paperwork is usually assumed during a sale I didn’t want this seemingly small item overlooked so we included it anyway. Of course, now a couple of months have passed and while I know where everything is, I am still trying to properly organize everything into my filing cabinets… because I didn’t have enough files already. This seems to be an ongoing project and even with the headway that I have made during the sporadic bouts of organizing, there is obviously still a lot of work to do and the number of items that need to be filed just keeps getting bigger.

I guess the sheer number of files that I have is all about wanting to have as much information available to me as possible. There are a number of things that most people would consider trash or would simply digitize and destroy the physical copy. However, more often than not, I have utilized the amassed hoard of information that I have on hand to find different items or figure out dates on short notice. Additionally, I have gone through enough computers and digital storage devices to know that just because something is digitized doesn’t mean that it can’t be lost or destroyed. For me, having both available is the best option.

And that presents another issue. Well, in reality, it is simply a project that has to be completed. All of the files that we now have about the property need to be scanned and sorted for easy reference. We obviously have the physical papers on hand but, as stated above and what will be written about again in the near future, it is prudent to have both the physical and digital copies stored and easily retrievable. More so than some of the other documents I have crammed into my drawers, we really can’t afford to lose these. After all, it is not just a house as it was when we made an offer, this is our home.

An Off Day Not A Day Off

Things seemed to be a little off this morning. After getting a late start to the day due to an early morning meeting and before heading off to work, I meandered over to our local polling location to submit my annual votes. It is an off year so by the time I got there I was only number 42 for the day. What caught me off guard a bit, besides the parking situation at the church, was the fact that this was the first time that I had to fill out a paper ballot in my life. Sitting in the partitioned booth, it felt like I was taking the SATs again.

That experience has pretty much summed up this whole election cycle so far this year. Things are getting done and the positions are being stated but the format seems a little different and we are having to work a little bit more to find what we are looking for. After scanning the entire paper, front and back, there wasn’t anything or anyone that would change my mind which left me only having to fill in one circle in order to complete my ballot.

Honestly, at this point, I don’t expect things to be much different next year. While I keep looking at the various positions on both primaries, it is pretty clear where my vote will be cast. Well, to a certain extent anyway. As was clear in the debates last week, it is still a crowded field with more viable candidates than I can recall ever taking the stage at one time. There are a few that I would like to see continue, others I would prefer drop out, and a couple that have really piqued my interest. At least that is my perspective on the Republican side… there really isn’t anyone that I could even come close to even feigning support for on the other ticket.

While this may be an off year, the next election is one that will make a huge difference in this country… hopefully for the better. Now that this day is coming to an end, we should really see the campaigns taken to another level over the next couple of months. And as the field thins, we should get a much better sense of who is the right person for the job, who can lead this country, and who truly has our best interests in mind. So buckle up and get ready for the ride.

Applications And Dues

Tis the season to reassess my memberships, consider others, and remit dues to the ones I can’t do without. Various annual club, association, and society applications are currently stretching the binding of my day planner. Slowly but surely I am determined to get through them all and make final decisions and cuts by the end of the year. Thankfully there are a few days which I have off next week when I can really sit down and give the attention and consideration that these forms require. Of course, this pile does not include some of the more in depth applications that have to be pulled together (admittedly these are long overdue) but I hope to get those done in the same time frame as well.

Many of the applications that lay before me in a paper clipped stack will be sent off shortly but others have to be carefully weighed. Not because of the dues and fees that they require but because of a simple matter of time. As I previously mentioned, Rotary was a timing decision. Even though I have gotten a lot out of Rotary in the past and still was learning on a daily basis, it is something that I am not able to commit the time to at this point. The schedule just doesn’t work out. Fortunately, since that post a generous offer has been made, and I have accepted, for me to stay on as an Honorary Rotarian. This is not something that is done lightly and I am honored to have been on the receiving end of such a distinguished title.

Other considerations in the growing mountain of forms is the fact that I would like to have some kind of connection to my ethnic heritage, in addition to existing application work. We know the countries from which our ancestors came but that is pretty much about it. It would be interesting to learn a little more and connect with other people with the same flags draped over the branches of their family trees. It will also be an interesting group to discuss future genealogical discoveries related to those branches.

Honestly, some of the other applications are a just because kind of submission. It would be nice to be a member and I would enjoy the occasional meeting/gathering so, if the dues make sense, why the heck not. It might also provide for some interesting events for my wife and I to attend in the future as well. I guess we will just have to see with all of those. One thing I can guarantee… it is an interesting mix and should offer a tremendous variety both for the basic experience but also for blog content. I will definitely keep you all posted.

Office Excavation

After my shift yesterday I decided to head into the office and attempt to do some cleaning. As you may remember, we did a significant reorganization and a little bit of cleaning about a month ago but there were some things that we have kept putting off. As much as I hate doing it, it was time to get things cleaned off my desk and organized.

Much of the cleaning and organizing had to do with all the papers and files that have been slowly accumulating over the past several months. I must have had an entire tree blanketing all the surfaces in the small room. In my opinion, is the worst kind of cleaning because you have to go through every document, sort them, and shred anything with sensitive information on it.

The truly astounding part of this endeavor is just how much stuff there is strewn about. For me, paper seems to epitomize the 10 in 5 mystery in that you wonder how ten pounds of crap can fit into a space that should only be able to hold five. It was a seemingly never ending task that had me, time and again, asking why I had kept all this stuff.

At the same time, I did come across a lot of things that I had long since forgotten about. Acceptance letters, testing scores, old flyers from readings, photographs I had taken, and endorsements. However, what were of greatest value to me were the papers that I had misplaced before I could add them to my genealogy binders. Namely copies of a few obituaries, a couple of family photos, and my conversion documents.

My conversion file in particular reminded me of an important part and commonly overlooked aspect of family tree building. All too often, amateur genealogists such as myself get tunnel vision and focus solely on the past. One of the worst things we can do is fail to color the leaf which we occupy on the tree. We have to remember that we are both story tellers and part of the story.

This omission is bad enough but what is infinitely worse is the failure to simply look around. Talk to the family that you have not just for what they can provide with regard to previous generations but for their stories as well. The work that you are doing now is great for the present but infinitely more important for the future generations of the family.

Lastly, the overarching reminder that yesterday provided me with was that whether you are researching your family or some other topic be organized. You are always going to be collecting more documents, more photographs, more books, and more stories and you need to have a place to put them where they can be retrieved easily. It was hard enough to find it once, don’t make yourself have to find it again.