Too Many Departures

While nothing has been as difficult as the loss that we experienced early last year, there have been moments since then that have forced me to stop for a minute and think about the people that have been a part of my life, large and small, over the years. I found myself going through this process once again when I received an email about the passing of a fellow Rotarian’s wife. Oddly enough, I had just seen him last week and, by the end of the meeting, wondered why I hadn’t asked how his family was doing as I normally would have. I guess even these seemingly inconsequential lapses happen for a reason.

I recall meeting his wife a couple of times in the past at Rotary functions and I recall having some very interesting discussions with her on a variety of subject. It was safe to say that there were a number of topics that we didn’t agree on but I remember having a pleasant conversation during which it was abundantly clear that I was discussing these subjects with a highly intelligent and informed woman. I guess you could say that she and her husband were very similar in that regard.

This loss is only one of many that has happened over the past year or so from those that I remember fondly seeing nearly every day in high school as was the case with the passing of my homeroom teacher and other times there are people that I had either met only a few times or that I had only corresponded with through letters, emails, or over the phone. Each time I was brought back to those discussions and encounters leaving me wondering why I hadn’t picked up the phone or wrote them a letter lately. I guess it is normal to think about the conversations you never had rather than the ones you did.

Of course, then there are the family members who have passed before I had a chance to talk to them or even really got to know them. Admittedly, there is a little selfishness in this thought but it also speaks to the unexpected, and potential, impact of those who have passed. While this has unfortunately been happening for years, it is a regular occurrence even today. However, the same lesson applies here as well… I need to do a better job of keeping in touch and reaching out to friends and family members. After all, as has been proven time and again, you never know how long you really have.

Unexpected Generosity

Yesterday started early as I had to make my way to Ollie’s to pick up the couch for which I had arranged transport yesterday. Since the E-Z Pass situation remained unresolved, I was running just a few minutes behind schedule (about the time it takes to pay and get change at the toll), but made it there only a couple minutes after my Masonic brother and his pickup truck. After a few passes through the aisles to put a few needed items in my cart, I made my way to check out, paid for the new selections, and had the three foot square box brought out to the curb. About 40 minutes later and everything was offloaded and in my office. All the while, my brother refused any and all kinds of compensation for his kindness.

Now that this task was done, my wife and I relaxed by unpacking a few more boxes before we headed out the door early in the afternoon. It was party time! Off we went to Bryn Mawr for another family holiday party where we could catch up with those we haven’t seen since the same time last year. Of course, this year was a little different as my wife walked through the doors in an obvious state.

What we found out when we arrived was that there was other news circulating around the house in that one cousin was also expecting and another just got engaged the previous week. It really was a time to celebrate all the good news which we both needed with everything else that is going on. So we made the rounds knowing what the introductory topic was going to be with each relative.

Later in the evening, while the grandmom shots were being poured and passed (this is what happens when you find an unopened bottle of Southern Comfort at the family party), my cousin (the one who is also my brother) walked up to me with a small box in hand. He had said in the past that he had something for me but I had honestly forgotten about it. As it turns out, I can now wear something representing both sides of my family at each lodge meeting… my grandfather’s ring (from my mom’s side) and cufflinks from my cousin (my dad’s side). While I have received many gifts this season sometimes it is the unexpected ones that really surprise you and appreciate the bonds that you have with family and brothers.