Not Much Longer Now…

Enjoying the quiet while it lasts!

I really don’t know where the time has gone. It feels as though we had just surprised the family only a short time ago with the announcement but it has now been eight and a half months and our son’s arrival is fast approaching. On the one hand I wish that we had more time to prepare the house and ourselves but on the other hand I can’t wait for the day when we can meet our baby.

The emotions have been running high lately with the stress even higher. The one constant during this time has been the comfort that our child brings when I feel him moving beneath my hand. Having him already starting to bond with me in that small way has made many days and countless moments bearable and the world just a little bit better. It is interesting to think that his arrival will make things so much more complex but at the same time simplify things like we have never experienced before.

Both of us have our moments of eagerness, times of stress, and instances of panic and nervousness. There are times when we want the birth to happen right then and there and other moments when we wish we had just a couple more weeks. With so many things that have been going on I wish we had more time to enjoy the anticipation and excitement. Those moments have been too few and far between.

Looking back there are moments that I will forever cherish... remembering the moments when decisions were made, furniture was slowly constructed, and the times when I was able to stand back for a few minutes and watch my wife fold baby clothes and put them away. I will never forget those moments that the two of us shared. They will remain prominent right there with the moments when we told our parents, the first time we saw our son and heard his heartbeat, and the even going back to the instant when we both agreed that we were ready to start a family many years ago sitting along King George Street in Jerusalem.

It has been a long time coming and while it may not have seemed like it was moving along so quickly in the moment, time has moved so fast and I wish we could just slow things down so we could enjoy the moments, minutes, and seconds. So many things have changed since that instant when we found the strength to become parents and all the trials since that discussion have continued to prepare us for what is just over two weeks away. While I still question whether I will be a good father I know that we will be a great family. Or, at the very least, an interesting one.

Tu B’Shevat: Celebrating New Life

I’ve always found it interesting that during the darkest time of the year when the trees seem lifeless under a snowy and icy veneer that we celebrate Tu B’Shevat. Of course, this is the view from the diaspora when many of these seemly oddly placed holidays reflect the life and vibrancy of the homeland. As Chabad.org summarizes:

Tu B’Shevat, the 15th of Shevat on the Jewish calendar—celebrated this year on Wednesday, February 4, 2015—is the day that marks the beginning of a “new year” for trees. This is the season in which the earliest-blooming trees in the Land of Israel emerge from their winter sleep and begin a new fruit-bearing cycle.

Legally, the “new year” for trees relates to the various tithes that are separated from produce grown in the Holy Land. These tithes differ from year to year in the seven-year shemittah cycle; the point at which a budding fruit is considered to belong to the next year of the cycle is the 15th of Shevat.

We mark the day of Tu B’Shevat by eating fruit, particularly from the kinds that are singled out by the Torah in its praise of the bounty of the Holy Land: grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives and dates. On this day we remember that “man is a tree of the field” (Deuteronomy 20:19), and reflect on the lessons we can derive from our botanical analogue.

The fascinating thing that we have to remember when these holidays come around is that they are celebrating the Jewish homeland. This is what draws our thoughts and prayers to Israel. They are subtle reminders that no matter where we are in this world we all focus or faith and our being on one central holy land. Today, which began at sunset this evening, we celebrate the bountiful land that not only sustains our bodies but also our minds and our spirit.

However, this year I can see the season of new life in a very personal way as our son is nearly ready to join us. It is during these cold months that he has grown so much and developed quite the personality as he insists on playing with his mom and dad and responding to our voices more than ever before. The trees may seem dormant here but our baby is fully embracing this holiday by not just beginning a new year but beginning a new life. At some point in his life we will be sure to show him this land to which we are so strongly connected.

The Times They Are A Changing…

Hello... is it me your looking for? 

We are now getting to the point in the pregnancy when there is nothing that can really make my wife comfortable and, therefore, there is no way that I am going to be comfortable. Sleep is sporadic at best and the smallest amount of stress (completely unavoidable at this point) cause the occasional contraction. While that may be worrisome to many, we are at the point when this is a completely normal irregular thing to happen. It’s when they become regular that we have to considering hauling to the hospital.

We still have some things that we need to take care of around the house but, overall, everything seems to be under control. With that said, there seem to be things that will come about every other day that just throw all of our plans out the door (where they are stomped on and lit on fire). I guess that is just another way to prepare us for having a baby in our life… you really have to take things as they come once he arrives.

The doctor appointments are now every week with the mad rush out of the office becoming more and more difficult but still completely manageable. And so far, with the exception of a few times when we have had to wait a little longer than usual or reschedule due to weather, everything has checked out and our son is happy, healthy, and active to the point that even the nurses are surprised. The doctor actually considers our son’s development completely normal… I guess he shouldn’t get used to being described that way given the family around him.

It’s funny that many of the conversations that I’ve had with people they all expect me to be nervous and ‘not ready yet’ but, above all else, I am excited to see and hold our son. As each day passes the anticipation grows and the nerves subside ever so slightly. I don’t expect this to be easy but I am looking forward to his arrival probably more than anything else that I have waited for in my life.

I wish that was the only thing that was going on in our lives right now but nothing in life is ever easy no matter how smoothly things may seem to be progressing at times. We have to take the bad with the good no matter how hard it is to handle. With everything that surrounds us and occupies our days, I can’t wait for that moment when I can hold our baby and forget about everything else that is going on in the world (even if he decides to poop on me).

Cursing At The Furniture

For the past several evenings I have been able to get out of the office at a normal time and head straight home without having any other obligations in the evening. There was also a few free hours the past couple of weeks. This “free” time was quickly cashed in so that we could finally get everything put together and moved into place in the baby’s room. By the end of the day I was really wishing that Babies R Us had offered assembly when we ordered online. 

All of the furniture arrived earlier this month and has been sitting in pieces in the middle of the room. It is not that putting together the functional jigsaw puzzles was complicated it really just came down to finding the time to read the directions and putting them together. The first attempt to do so came last Saturday when hutch pieces were strewn across the floor and I started screwing the pieces together. Ten minutes later the initial project was put on hold as the pot metal hardware bent and broke thanks to a few holes that were drilled too deep. This was only the beginning of the cursing at inanimate objects portion of the day.

After a quick trip to Home Depot for some replacements and spares, we got back on track putting things together. I built the furniture and my wife supervised… our son isn’t old enough to help lift things yet. It is a model that has worked in the past so why mess with it. An hour in and the hutch was put together and attached to the dresser. I could see my wife’s eyes light up as the first piece was put into place (and then put into a new place when we reconsidered the layout.

The crib and changing table was next. It is safe to say that directions are not the company’s strong suit as there were numerous instances of putting together, taking apart, and reassembling parts where the instructions were clearly left to interpretation. However, with the sun slowly setting and the lamp we found on clearance prolonging the work day, everything finally came together leaving only the glider still in its box.

The glider and ottoman proved to be, by far, the easiest items to build and within 20 minutes of putting the crib in the corner, the room was complete. My wife, both tired and eager, soon followed by letting me know of her plans of where she wanted to place the pile of things that we received at the baby shower. By the time we went to bed that night, some of those things were already in place.

Now we are down to the details. Getting the clothes cleaned, organizing the shelves, decorating the walls (thanks to the clearance sections at Babies R Us), and stocking the room with many of the things that we will need for our son. It is all coming together and while many of the things are in place and ready, I am sure that there are even more things that we are forgetting about and will only remember once we need them. Until then, we will get everything else together and wait for baby.

Unexpected Generosity

Yesterday started early as I had to make my way to Ollie’s to pick up the couch for which I had arranged transport yesterday. Since the E-Z Pass situation remained unresolved, I was running just a few minutes behind schedule (about the time it takes to pay and get change at the toll), but made it there only a couple minutes after my Masonic brother and his pickup truck. After a few passes through the aisles to put a few needed items in my cart, I made my way to check out, paid for the new selections, and had the three foot square box brought out to the curb. About 40 minutes later and everything was offloaded and in my office. All the while, my brother refused any and all kinds of compensation for his kindness.

Now that this task was done, my wife and I relaxed by unpacking a few more boxes before we headed out the door early in the afternoon. It was party time! Off we went to Bryn Mawr for another family holiday party where we could catch up with those we haven’t seen since the same time last year. Of course, this year was a little different as my wife walked through the doors in an obvious state.

What we found out when we arrived was that there was other news circulating around the house in that one cousin was also expecting and another just got engaged the previous week. It really was a time to celebrate all the good news which we both needed with everything else that is going on. So we made the rounds knowing what the introductory topic was going to be with each relative.

Later in the evening, while the grandmom shots were being poured and passed (this is what happens when you find an unopened bottle of Southern Comfort at the family party), my cousin (the one who is also my brother) walked up to me with a small box in hand. He had said in the past that he had something for me but I had honestly forgotten about it. As it turns out, I can now wear something representing both sides of my family at each lodge meeting… my grandfather’s ring (from my mom’s side) and cufflinks from my cousin (my dad’s side). While I have received many gifts this season sometimes it is the unexpected ones that really surprise you and appreciate the bonds that you have with family and brothers.

Ahead Of Schedule

This might be the last time he was on schedule!

Now that my wife is in her third trimester we are scheduling doctor appointments for every two weeks. The last time that we were in the office we had quite the wait as couples crammed in one last appointment before Thanksgiving and many of the doctors had already headed out for the holiday. Last night was much better as we were shown back to the examining room a few minutes ahead of our appointment time.

After enjoying hearing our son’s heartbeat, it was time for the doctor to come in and take some measurements. As it turns out, at 28 1/2 weeks my wife is measuring 31 weeks. With very little weight gain to speak of, it is safe to say that our baby is a wee bit ahead of schedule. This also explains the discomfort and sometimes pain that my wife has been experiencing lately and her inability to sleep throughout the night.

Now that he is so far along, it is fun to play with him from time to time. He knows both of our voices and can feel each time that we rub him usually poking or kicking our hands. He is surprisingly active during the day and even into the night after I get home from work. I like to think that he waits up to hear daddy but I know that it not realistic.

Even though we have not been able to find the right name for our son we do have a couple of options that we have been keeping to ourselves. However, it is safe to say that Deuteronomy, Percy, and Junior have been eliminated from contention. While we would like to have a few options selected beforehand it is probably going to come down to what comes to mind when we see our son for the first time. Maybe that time will be sooner than expected.  

This is a little different of an approach than one of the brothers from the lodge. He and his wife had the named picked out for their daughter months ago in anticipation of today actually. Sometimes you just come across the one name that just fits and you stick with it… of course, we already have a name picked out for a girl but that is not helping us at all right now. Of course, at the same time, we are not going to let ourselves fall into the Paul and Jamie conundrum either.

It will all take care of itself in time. It is just a matter of how much time we will have to think about his name. So far it looks like we are having that timeframe cut down by 2 ½ weeks. I guess we will have to keep thinking of options as we continue looking forward to his arrival.

Gobble Gobble: Part Two

Growing u we always had Thanksgiving dinner at home and while at the time I didn’t think about this annual routine now it has become something that I think back on and enjoy. The last several years, with all of us getting married, having kids, and moving around those dinners have shifted around. Most years our day would consist of a few stops and this year was no different with a couple of stops during the day. Each time it has been a slightly different schedule but the biggest difference had been that we would no longer go to my parent’s house for the holiday.

Thankfully, my wife and I were able to revisit those memories a little bit and have a post-Thanksgiving meal with my parents tonight. It was just the four of us but it allowed us to spend time with them, eat, chat, and just enjoy being there without having to rush out the door to go somewhere else. We have had many meals with my parents as we enjoy being there and catching up on all that is going on, receive great advice, and sometimes plan for the things just around the corner. It really is a home for both of us.

Tonight made me miss a little bit the simpler Thanksgivings without the commotion and the running from place to place when we could just show up and pick up conversations as if we had just seen them earlier that day. I guess you could say that one of the things that I am most grateful for is the relationship that my wife and I have with my parents and the support and guidance that they have always given us. Some may not be able to relate to this statement at all but I consider myself privileged to have been born into my family.

That is something that I hope that we will be able to pass on to our son. I want him to have those memories of family holidays filled with family and know that we are always there for him. I guess you could say that is one of my greatest fears… that he will not look back at Thanksgiving and other family gatherings with the same love and appreciation that I do now. Maybe that is why I am so excited not just to meet our son but to introduce him to his family.