Mortgage Monday: Labor Day Labor

While I don’t have work today the ironic thing about this Labor Day is that there is work being done at the house. It seems as though every minute of free time that my brother in law has had lately has been committed to this HVAC overhaul. For the past month (or more, I can’t recall when he started) he has joined us for the weekend forgoing time with his family and taking a break from his already long work week. There is no questioning that we are incredibly lucky to have him devote so much of his free time to not just getting this project done but getting it done right.

This is the part of Labor Day that tends to be overlooked. Many of the people whom we honor with this day are the same ones who would do anything to help their family. The same people that deserve to take a break tend to be the ones that can never stop working.

Thankfully, we are almost done with this phase of the work. A couple more weekends and everything should be complete and the way that we want it and the way that he wants it. There is already a huge difference in the house both with regard to the regulation of the temperature and the cleanliness of the system (the old one was, to put it nicely, nasty). Just a short time longer and we will all be able to enjoy the new system.

In future years we hope to have him at our house again during this particular holiday but this is, hopefully, the last time that we will ask him to do any work on the house. Actually, we hope to have the family join us in the future to relax not to work on the house and enjoy the work that was put into making our home as comfortable as possible. It shouldn’t take long before we start having family over again to enjoy the house.  

In the meantime, we are continuously cognizant of the sacrifices that our brother in law is making to help us out (and my sister and their kids) and we are doing our best to make him as comfortable as possible while he is here. We try to keep the beer fridge stocked, have good food on the table, and a bed made. We also have an open door so that the kid and my sister can come over and spend some time. But, the most important thing right now is that we try and do everything we can to give him back his weekends as soon as possible.

Today Is About Listening

There is much more to today than showing our appreciation for the sacrifices made by those who served in the military. Today is about those who gave everything, the most that anyone can give, to this country and to us. Today is about showing our humble gratitude to those who will never be able to read or see our words. Today is about listening rather than speaking.

In between the countless posts and comments streaming across the screen of my laptop confusing Memorial Day with Veteran’s Day there have been a few instances when I paused and simply listened to what was said or stopped to read what was written. Those words were from the men and women who survived, many of whom attest to their survival coming at the cost of the life of another soldier. Others were recollections of the smiles and aspirations of soldiers who never returned home.

At the same time, I see the pictures and faces of families now absent a son, daughter, father, mother, brother, or sister. These are the instances that give me a moment of reflective pause as I think about those with whom I shared a barracks and I wonder how many of those soldiers never posed for another family photo after those sweltering days in Missouri. And I also think about who had to take my place once I departed.

I also think about the leaves in the family tree that never fully developed having been pruned early in life during a time of war. Whether it is my 7^th great grandfather, Rufus Cone, having been captured by the British during the Battle of Long Island he subsequently died aboard a prison ship on August 27, 1776, or my 4th great grandfather, Jacob Teaford, who watched as his fellow militiamen were buried in mass graves in Norfolk, Virginia in the fall of 1814, or my 3^rd great grandfather, Jacob Worth, being entombed in the USS Tecumseh during the Battle of Mobile Bay on August 5, 1864, or many of the cousins, close and distant, that have given all to defend this country. All of these family tragedies and sacrifices remain at the forefront of my mind on this day.

It is because of this, these accounts past and present, that we must always listen to what needs to be said and understand that many of the sacrifices that were made were so we could live the life that we do in a free country. At the same time, there is no telling what would have happened to us had someone not stepped in and paid that price. Past or present, today we must honor the memories of the true heroes of this country.

Back to School?

No, this post has nothing to do with gold!

When I got the email on Sunday night informing me that the office was closed and that we would be working from home the following day, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to the remainder of my schedule. About halfway through the morning about half of the items on my schedule had either been cancelled or moved with a few more being altered during the first few hours of the day. Thankfully, there was one appointment that held and just as my son was waking from his afternoon nap, I was heading out the door on my way up the highway to Reading.

This was not work related. This was something extra on my calendar that I wanted to take a closer look at. After all, I have already been out of school for nearly 8 years and the academic itch is becoming unbearable once again. Not being one to rest on previous accomplishments or, in this case, degrees, I reached out to Alvernia University a few weeks ago to inquire about their PhD program focusing on Leadership. On Monday afternoon with resume in hand I met with the Chair of the department and had a great conversation about the program and why I had taken an interest in pursuing my doctorate.

Me, a doctor. Kind of a scary thought isn’t it?

Understand that this is just one of the things that I am looking at to satisfy that academic hunger that I feel. But it was a nice feeling returning to a campus and being in that atmosphere again. I actually really like the program as it was outlined, the school seems to be on the upswing, the cost is very reasonable, and the proximity to home is ideal. There are a lot of things going for it but I also hesitate knowing what the program entails.

In the end, I think it is all going to come down to the time element. This would be a five year commitment of at least 10 hours per week. That is time away from my family, my job, and the other things that I enjoying doing. You know me, I already have so much free time in my schedule to take on another long term project and I enjoy the things that I am doing now and would not want to have to sacrifice any of them. But this might be as good a time as any to start this. Time is a tricky part of the decision but also the main part of the decision that my wife and I will have to consider. Until then, I have plenty of other things that I can work on!

Veterans Night And Day

I had been looking forward to the last stated meeting for months. Actually, ever since last November when we first had this particular program. This past Thursday we once again opened our doors to friends and family as we honored those who have served our country in the Armed Forces. Thankfully, despite some ups and downs over the past year, we were able to once again have nearly 20 veterans, brothers and non-masons, representing over two centuries of service honor us with their presence.

While I was unable to arrange for my family to be present, they were at the forefront of my mind throughout the entire evening. Not just immediate family but also those whom I had the pleasure of connecting with over the summer at the reunion. Obviously, this is also a night when I think back on the generations of family members who fought for us and also a time when I recall my own failed attempt to follow in their footsteps.

For those of us who are familiar with the sacrifices that many of these men have made, it is a night to celebrate those standing before us and also remember those who are unable to do so. Whether having passed long after donning a uniform or paying the ultimate price in the midst of war and conflict, all those who served to protect us, our way of life, and our country were recognized. It is a night that I recommend everyone attend regardless of whether or not they are a mason, veteran, man or woman. Everyone should take the time to show these veterans not only our respect but our heartfelt gratitude.  

However, these simple gestures of thanks should not be limited to ceremonies and celebrations. There are men and women we meet every day that should be thanked for what they have done for us. This is especially true today, Veterans Day, when we should keep our eyes open a little wide so that we might spot a veteran and go out of our way to thank them. And, along these lines, given the connectivity of the world in which we live, take this message onto Facebook or whatever your preferred social network might be (if you have not done so already). When you are there scroll through your list of friends and family. Those who are veterans, thank them, one by one. Don’t just post a blanket statement of appreciation.  

And, lastly, don’t let this be the only day that you offer your gratitude for the service of others. When given the opportunity, no matter what time of year or where you might be at the time, thank a veteran if you happen to meet one. After all, they have already paid the price so it doesn’t cost you a thing!

Lost Memorials

Picture taken while searching for family in Leverington Cemetery...
there shouldn't be any open spaces in a full cemetery. 

Over the past few years, I have visited a few cemeteries trying to find the names of family members in the vast seas of grass and stone. Sometimes I have been successful while other times it has proven to be a harder task than expected. However, during each of those visits, I remember walking by the graves of countless veterans many of whom passed away long after their service but some who were killed in action.

There were a few resting places that were well maintained and the grounds were easy to access. Others have become far from the idyllic resting place that they once were and now seem to have been forgotten. These are the places that need our attention on this day not the grills, parks, and festivities to which we have all grown accustom. In one of the more run down cemeteries that I have come across, those graves were of soldiers who died while fighting in the Civil War. It seems ironic that these resting places are the ones forgotten on this day when these graves were the original impetus for the holiday.

It makes me wonder how many parades have walked past these resting places in recent years without the participants thinking twice about those who lay, unrecognized, a few yards from their feet. I have been asked to participate in countless parades but I have never once been asked to place flags on the graves of soldiers. Maybe I should be the one who changes this lack of tradition next year.

While I enjoy the time that I am able to spend with my family, the purpose of the day seems to have been lost. The focus now seems to be on not having to go to work (different than focusing on spending time with family) and sales… the holiday itself seems to have been sold. All the while, we forget those for whom this day was meant to honor. And there is no other more visceral reminder of this change in priority than the decrepit state of many cemeteries around us especially within the city limits.

There are too many places out there that need our help not just for those for whom this day recognizes but all the families that are represented in many of these forgotten resting places. After all, you never know when you might go looking for your family and not be able to find them because their headstone has long since crumbled, sunken, or fallen to the ground. All you need to do is walk in one of these cemeteries and see the open field of grass to realize that there are countless people who will now remain nameless to realize the importance of this situation. And on this day, think about the possibility of someone buried there who gave the ultimate sacrifice who will never be recognized for their service again.

It’s Not Really Free

Every year I see the countless signs and receive numerous emails about all the discounts and “free” things for veterans. Unfortunately, I have seen the inevitable complaints of entitlement from people across numerous social media streams making delusional statements that they should be getting the “handouts”. What these people fail to realize, year after year, is that despite what the ads might say veterans are not getting anything for free. These people served and sacrificed for us and, if anything, they are still not getting enough from us.

Over the years I have gotten to know veterans of all ages, branches, and length of service. I come from a long line of men who have served in the armed forces and made an attempt to do so myself (no, I am not a veteran). In fact, many of those men whom I consider friends and family were part of the recognition ceremony at my lodge last week… there was a total of over 160 years of service that stood before us that night. All of these men, and all veterans that I have had the privilege to meet during my lifetime, have never asked for any recognition.

In recent years, there seems to be a “veterans day is good enough” mentality with regard to the recognition that is bestowed upon these men and women. Every year, I see fewer and fewer instances of people walking up to a veteran and thanking them for their service. This downward trend is particularly noticeable on this day although it is pervasive throughout the year. People seem to think that they have played the same role in keeping this country safe when that is far from the reality.

Yes, there are discounts today for veterans but one day is never going to be enough. These men and women deserve much more than a coupon on this day, they deserve our gratitude and our respect for doing what we were unwilling and/or unable to do. They are the ones who have ensured that this country continues to exist, they are the ones that have made it possible for us to live our lives without fear. No discount our coupon will ever make up for the sacrifices that they have made ad while our feeble words will not accomplish much more, it at least shows that we have not forgotten what they have done for us.

Thank you for your service!