|It might be more than just a cough!|
- The United States Government is to blame and by extension, all Americans: “The outbreak began in September, when The Daily Observer, a Liberian newspaper, published an article alleging that the virus was not what it seemed — a medical disaster — but rather a bioweapon designed by the United States military to depopulate the planet. Not long after, accusations appeared online contending that the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had patented the virus and was poised to make a fortune from a new vaccine it had created with the pharmaceutical industry… [humanitarian champion and women’s rights activist] Chris Brown took to Twitter, announcing to his 13 million followers: “I don’t know ... but I think this Ebola epidemic is a form of population control.” 1 point if you work for the government and 1 point if you are a citizen of the United States.
- Like everything else that goes wrong in this world, some people are always going to blame the Jews: There are countless examples of this phenomenon that can be found on various social media sites. One of the philosophical gems from these people stated the following: “Zionists keep inventing moral, elitist & racist viruses such as Ebola or AIDS whose main target are poor people, Africans, promiscuous &gays”. I know, MENSA must be knocking on their door right now. Note that many who claim not to be anti-Semitic, and actually get quite agitated of calling them out on it, simply swap out the word “Jew” with the word “Zionist”. 1 point if you are Jewish and a bonus point if you consider yourself a Zionist.
- Conservatives and the NRA are the ones that have slowed our response and are therefore the ones to blame for Ebola becoming a worldwide epidemic/threat: “If only there was someone around who could educate the American public about the actual level of risk. Someone who was trusted as a public health expert and whose job it was to help us understand what we really need to worry about and what precautions we should take. / Actually, that is one of the primary responsibilities of the United States surgeon general. There’s just one problem: Thanks to Senate dysfunction and NRA opposition, we don’t have a surgeon general right now. In fact, we haven’t had a surgeon general for more than a year now — even though the president nominated the eminently qualified Dr. Vivek Murthy back in November 2013. / The lack of a surgeon general is now becoming more than just one more abstract example of government gridlock.” 1 point if you are a conservative and/or 1 point if you are an NRA member (2 points if you are a life member).