Friday, January 24, 2014

Pushing Through Level Four

Have you ever noticed just how different of a person you are when you’re sick? Some get mad, some become mean, and others just kind of stair off into space. Today I was a different person. I wasn’t really any of the aforementioned, my sick demeanor is more along the lines of dull tunnel vision. Basically, when I’m sick I lose much of my creativity (you can probably tell at this point) and am unable to multitask. I have to focus on one thing at a time. Anything beyond that project simply wouldn’t process.

This doesn’t happen every time that I feel under the weather. It happens more on the top end of not feeling well when I have to motivate myself to move. Basically more on the plague end of the spectrum rather than the sniffles. For those of you unfamiliar with the sickness scale (similar to Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias’ five levels of fatness), here is the breakdown:

1. Sniffles – You cough once and feel that is enough to call out sick from work. Also applies to hangovers.

2. Sick – The time when you might want to consider taking something. This is when you usually start going through the list in your head of who you can blame for what you know is inevitably going to happen.

3. Crap on Toast (also known as crap on a cracker) – As the name suggests, at this point you are more than likely spending more time than you would like passing legislation through colon congress while weighing the nuclear option from your seat in the oval office. This also applies when you eat too much sugar free candy (especially Gummy Bears).

4. Plague – You have nothing left and your body seems to laugh when you take any sort of cold medicine. While you are no longer in solitary confinement in the porcelain prison, it takes considerable effort to just get up let alone get out the door.

5. Dead – This is when you have no other option than to call out of work and stay home moaning like a wounded cow. If you can only eat broth and really soft foods you might be dead. Stay home.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, it is now the weekend and I have the luxury of dying without missing any work. However, if you were expecting to read about any exciting trips this weekend there is a good chance that will not be happening. It will give me time to thing though and you know how entertaining that can be so stay tuned for a couple posts resulting from an overabundance of time to think and cold medicine.