Sunday Search: Valentine’s Day Genealogy

Today I thought I would do something a little different but completely appropriate given the Hallmark cards that are being handed out. One of the interesting things I frequently find myself pondering when researching the various ancestors in my family tree is about how these two, sometimes completely different, people met? Most of the time this information can only be found in the stories passed down from generation to generation.

When looking through many of the documents that my great Aunt has shared with me over the years, I came across a single page on which she has typed up what is basically a summary of her father’s life. Many of the facts are easy to find in the census, birth certificate, marriage, and death records but there were also details not contained in those documents including a little about his work history as well as, and what is most appropriate given the subject of this post, what brought my great grandparents together. Here is exactly what my great aunt, whom I have written about before, wrote about her parents:

Harry was the son of LeRoy and Sally Clapsaddle Teaford. He was one of nine children. He was born in 1895 and died in 1963. His first employment was as a quarry worker in a local mill that his father managed. He became interested in farming and had a love for horses. In 1916 he met Nettie Love of Sugar Tree Hollow. Nettie and her sister were accomplished equestrians. Nettie won several awards at local fairs where she rode English (side saddle) style. Their mutual interest in horses brought Harry and Nettie together and they were married in 1917 at the Eagle Rock Baptist Church. Shortly after they moved to Lorraine, Ohio. They stayed in Ohio only a short time and moved back to the Eagle Rock area. Harry began working as a farmer and over the following years worked for several large farm owners. His favorite position was with the Graham Burhnman Farm in Gala. During their time in Virginia the family had twelve children. All twelve children were born in Virginia.  

However, more often than not, we don’t have these stories written down for us. Many times we have to try and find and fill in the details with the documents that we do have. Such is the case with my great grandparents on my mom’s side of the family. Basically, the census is what really reveals how they met and given the fact of with whom they were each living at the time, it really is a matter of what some would call fate. My great grandparents, William J. McKannan and Helen W. Fulton, can be found listed in the 1910 census living next door to one another. Both 19 at the time, Helen’s family was living in her grandmother’s house while William was living with his mother and sister at his uncle’s house… his father, my great great grandfather, was working for the Pennsylvania Railroad in Trenton, New Jersey at the time. Two years after the census was taken William and Helen were married. Unfortunately, as I have written about before, it was a marriage that wouldn’t last.  

Sometimes other forces intervene in order for fate to take hold ensuring that what was meant to be becomes reality. It is true in my family tree and it is true in how my wife and I met. There are countless factors that brought us to that Barnes & Noble in Bryn Mawr that particular night when I, having just published my book "Kaddish Diary”, was giving a reading and my wife was working the floor. It was that instant when we, coming from completely different backgrounds with vastly different experiences, met for the first time each of us taking the chance and getting to know one another. The same chance that my great grandparents took when they first saw one another.

Valentine’s Day Flu

After a long week for both me and my wife when sleep seemed more like an option rather than a requirement, we headed out to dinner at the local Cheesecake Factory on Friday night. Seemed appropriate since we were coming from her mom’s house and this was the place where the three of us would commonly meet. After the experience we had (it takes talent to mess up a plain well done cheeseburger three times in a single night) it is safe to say that we will not be returning.

The rest of the night was about as uneventful as we could expect. Not easy as we are heading into the last couple of weeks of the pregnancy which has a certain effect on her demeanor which is compounded by the other emotional events that are swirling around our daily life. But it was the weekend and while we didn’t have any particular plans, trips, or even gifts, we were till going to do our best to enjoy a final Valentine’s Day before the baby arrives.

We had our weekend planned out to both take a few moments for ourselves but also to spend some much needed time with family. When we got up on Saturday morning those plans quickly changed as my wife could feel the very beginnings of a fever beginning to surface. All the plans that we had were immediately thrown away and we focused on doing our best to relax and spending a day at home.

By the early afternoon my wife wasn’t feeling any better so we gave the doctor a call to determine what our next course of action should be. Given the fact that she is 38 weeks pregnant it really wasn’t a surprise when they told us to head to the emergency room and get checked out. Hours, numerous tests, and a few naps later and we were finally told that the flu shot that sent her to the same emergency room in October didn’t work.

Once we were able to jump through all the hoops we were finally able to head out the door just as the snow was beginning to pick up. Of course, since it was now nearly eight at night there was only one pharmacy near our house which was open and able to fill the scripts. Four pharmacies and a quick Chinese food take out later and we finally made it home around nine. Everything seemed to settle down and we were both looking forward to sleeping in. That was the thought until my wife began waking me up in the middle of the night saying that her temperature wasn’t going down. It was going to be a long night but at least I didn't get stuck on the Pennsylvania Turnpike for eight hours like I did last year. 

McDonald’s Or Wendy’s?

Those of you that know me, know that is not a question that I encounter in my daily life. Those of you that have yet to get to know me you know by my svelte build that is not a common query. But that question really isn’t the story, it is what was going on around me when that question was asked which is of interest. The fact that the question was even asked by a complete stranger adds a little color to my long Friday commute.

I started my morning right on time to make it to the office well before a 9:00 am call. Having had to work from home the day before, the day was going to be pretty hectic as I tried to make up for what was a less than optimal day of production. The roads weren’t too bad with only a few slightly slick spots here and there, the occasional rumble strip of snow and ice, and a sun glare that gradually got worse as the minutes went by. With the sun directly in my eyes about five miles from the office I increased the gap between me and the car in front of me and reduced my speed to about 40 miles per hour. And I am really glad I did.

 

Without any warning traffic came to a dead stop and I slammed on the brakes. As the antilock brakes pumped I could hear the crunching of cars ahead of me. Thankfully, I took the precautions I did and I safely came to rest about three feet from the car in front of me (the car behind me did the same). So we all sat there for the next five minutes with our cars still running and brake lights on.

It was only a few minutes later when the reports began filling the radio and we all knew that we were going to be there for a while. Like dominos, cars were put into park, engines were turned off, and we all settled down for a long delay. Thirty minutes to go before my call and I knew that I would be dialing in from the car so I sent a few text messages to the office, my family, and my wife letting them know that I was fine but that I wasn’t going to get to the office any time soon.

 

Before I knew it, it was time to dial into the conference call. Surprisingly enough, this may have been the first time that I have had to be on a conference call from the car. Having now done it once, I can say that I am not a big fan and I will continue doing my best to avoid it in the future. By the time I got off the phone we were all sitting in the same spot and we all knew the extent of the backup as opposing traffic had now ceased and emergency vehicles were driving back and forth assessing the damage and looking for anyone else who might need assistance.

 

By 11:00 am we were all walking around the highway chatting and getting to know other people who are now sharing a common inconvenient experience. After all, we all knew how much worse it could have been for us. We could have easily been the ones in the 100 car pileup just a half mile ahead. So, while we were all a bit grumpy (especially those of us who were without coffee) we were all, at least most of us, were just trying to make the best out of things.

Not long after that, the kindness of strangers began showing itself. What began with bottles of water being handed which was appreciated, soon gave way to a woman in the far right lane passing out cupcakes which would no longer be consumed at work and the aroma of coffee being replenished in travel mugs. Our new found calm only made the morning pass a bit faster and made us all just a little bit friendlier.

Around noon we all seemed to return to our cars. Not because of any anticipation of traffic beginning to free up it was a strange unified time when everyone decided to make phone calls. I guess another benefit to this whole dilemma besides forcing everyone to just stop and try and find the positive to the situation was the fact that we could catch up on some long overdue phone calls. While I wasn’t able to dial everyone, I did manage to catch up with a few people with whom I had not spoken to in some time.

It was during these phone calls when a man came walking down the highway, stopping at every car, and asking us if we wanted a cheeseburger. Not many of us passed up the kind offer which led to his next question, “Wendy’s or McDonald’s?” Not much difference between the two so I arbitrarily chose Wendy’s. 1:00 pm and lunch was served.

The next hour when quickly and before I knew it I was on another conference call. As we discussed the difficulties of my commute I could hear the wave of car engines turning on roll up the highway (the only exceptions beyond the accident scenes being those who ran out of gas or had dead batteries). As we slowly formed a single file line and slalomed back and forth across the lanes between accident scenes, I pointed my phone from atop the steering wheel and captured some random pictures of what had caused the delay which had all of us parked on the highway for the past 6 hours.

Around 2:30 pm, I arrived at the office and, contrary to what many people would think, I wasn’t really in a bad mood. Of course, my day was wasted and I have to make up some work this weekend but I was still in one piece and I was able to witness, first hand, how people come together when put in a situation that they really can’t change. However, I am now painfully aware that I need to stop by the store sometime soon and pick up some MRE’s to make these situations a bit easier. Might be worth adding a few other preps. You never know.

Are You Prepared For Valentine’s Day?

I have never been a huge proponent of Valentine’s Day. Maybe that is why I have always been a little light on the celebration of this day in the past few years. I have never fully neglected the day, which is why I am still alive, but it has never been a square on the calendar that got a huge amount of attention and planning. In fact, this year, my wife and I exchanged gifts for the first time in three years now that we have the ability to purchase gifts. Nothing big but things that we will both enjoy (i.e. Wizard of Oz DVDs and Chocolate for my wife and Amazon Prime membership for me).

This year in particular, while it was nice to exchanged gifts we didn’t have much energy for much else as the weather and other recent events have drained us of much of our energy. But, in the end, it makes you think about the real purpose of the day. Why should this day be different than all the others? Why isn’t love part of the daily experience and a way of living?

Let us take a moment to stop and take a look at the history of the holiday. Here is the listing from Wikipedia:

Saint Valentine's Day, also known as Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is observed on February 14 each year. It is celebrated in many countries around the world, although it is not a holiday in most of them.

St. Valentine's Day began as a liturgical celebration of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. Several martyrdom stories were invented for the various Valentines that belonged to February 14, and added to later martyrologies. A popular hagiographical account of Saint Valentine of Rome states that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire. According to legend, during his imprisonment, he healed the daughter of his jailer, Asterius. An embellishment to this story states that before his execution he wrote her a letter signed "Your Valentine" as a farewell. Today, Saint Valentine's Day is an official feast day in the Anglican Communion, as well as in the Lutheran Church. The Eastern Orthodox Church also celebrates Saint Valentine's Day, albeit on July 6 and July 30, the former date in honor of the Roman presbyter Saint Valentine, and the latter date in honor of Hieromartyr Valentine, the Bishop of Interamna (modern Terni). In Brazil, the Dia de São Valentim is recognized on June 12.

The day was first associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. In 18th-century England, it evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). Valentine's Day symbols that are used today include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards.

Now to answer the previously posed questions. Actually, one answer should suffice. Valentine’s Day, like many other days noted on the calendar, is a time which reminds us of what we have and what can be possible when love is made a central part of our lives. It is in this spirit that we should all embrace this day regardless of its origins.

It should also serve as motivation for us all not only live a positive life but also appreciate and show our appreciation of those in our lives. Love, in all of its forms, is too often overlooked and relegated as a secondary emotion. Today is a reminder of its proper position as the primary purpose and motivator for a better life.