TMI Tuesday: At Least It Hasn’t Hit The Fan

Yellow is the new white. 

Ever since we brought our son home from the hospital he has been pretty consistent at not doing one thing in his sleep… pooping. Of course, while there hasn’t been any mess there has been a fairly large amount of auditory pollution but that is a topic that I have already covered. But the simple, and kind of amazing, fact is that our son learned early on that it is not comfortable to sleep in your own poo. With that said, he does not abide by a rather famous saying… he does crap where he eats.

The eruption usually occurs late in the morning or early in the afternoon. The one commonality is that it happens either during or immediately after he has his bottle. Until recently there was little doubt when this happened at the colonic alarm would usually sound. However, recently our son has employed the sniper crap… you don’t realize what has happened until it is too late.

Because of these sneak attacks, there have been many casualties along the way. It is common for our son, like many babies his age, to wear a multitude of outfits during the day. While we have gotten pretty used to this routine there are occasions when we just have to take a step back, take a deep breath (not through our noses), and proceed with the usual hazmat procedures. Pretty astounding considering he is already wearing size four diapers.

And it never fails that the worst of these atomic tests occur outside of the house. Sometimes in the car and other times while we are eating in a restaurant (among other locations). Always concluding with a mischievous smirk. The latest occurred while having lunch on Saturday before we headed out looking for a new car. It was bad… it was the first time that we had to really clean the car seat.

In the end, his development and early habits are different than we could have ever anticipated. He is so far beyond where we ever expected him to be and I am excited to see how fast he continues to pick things up. Hopefully, this is a foreshadowing for an easy potty training but I am really not counting on that one. Until then we will just have to continue our vigilance when we sit down at a restaurant and hope that wind doesn’t carry the fall out across the dining room.

TMI Tuesday: That Wasn’t A Fart!

There are times early in the evening when there is loud rumble coming from the baby monitor. It’s not so much surprising as it is impressive given the fact that our son only recently surpassed the ten pound mark. While some might be a little taken back and somewhat disgusted by these emanations the fact of the matter is that they are downright hilarious.

Usually before an eruption our son begins to squirm and make the occasional noise boarding on a cry. When this happens I turn the video on just to check in on him only to see two feet pointing straight up in the air, stomach tensed, and face scrunched. As soon as he unleashes the “Cracken”, his body relaxes and he goes back to sleep.

Of course, then there are the other times when our son stops whatever he is doing (which isn’t much at this point) and starts grunting and pushing to the point that his face becomes a deep red. At this point it is best to take cover. While most of the time it is nothing but air followed by a smirk there have been quite a few moments when the shrapnel tries blowing through whatever barrier stands in its way. While that part may not be funny the look of disbelief, shock, and relief on our son’s face makes us laugh every time.

And when I say blow through barriers I mean blow through barriers. While I am certain that our son could fit into a smaller diaper, his colon wants nothing to do with those limited boundaries. We have been forced to move up a couple of sizes already not because of things being too tight but because the diapers failed the containment test (aka the blowout test). That is probably the most pleasant way of describing the scene when you pick up your child in the morning only to find that he has painted his back up to his shoulder blades. Not a pleasant way to wake up but one of those times when you find yourself laughing all the way to the bathtub.

While the sound effects started early on (before we left the hospital), they have only grown over time in both potency and decibel level. However, there is a bright side to this whole explosive situation. We have now gotten to the point when I can sleep through the night knowing that I have plausible deniability when I wake up. He still has a long way to go but he is proving to be a quick study.

Embrace The Cold

First snow and a cup of coffee (2011).

While I did see some flurries earlier this month, tonight is the first night that it smells like snow. It’s not really a smell in the traditional sense, it is more like a lack of scent when the dry frigid air seems to flood your nostrils with the clean pure air of crystalized vapor. It is the kind of air that arrests your breath as soon as is passes across your lips.

It seems as if the spring, summer, and fall have all but disappeared into the past in a matter of moments rather than months leaving us with shock of a frozen world when we open our front door in the morning. The frost on the windows taunts us as if to say “I told you so, I told you I would be back.” The car seems hesitant to move as if woken up from a daily hibernation and unwilling to face the reality of daylight.

Midday offers some hope of relief as the sun warms our skin just enough to bring some comfort to our face just before the cool breeze rips across our cheeks. In what must be a slight of hand, the sky quickly turns dark long before the work day ends and the cold returns to dominate the world beyond the windows. By the end of the day it feels as though déjà vu has set in and our morning routine becomes our evening repetition.

But, for me, the sight of snow makes everything different. I don’t know why, but for some reason, the cold doesn’t seem as breathtaking and the wind doesn’t seem to bite as hard. Snow changes the world around us. Just like rain makes everything dreary, snow whitewashes the world as if to bring us a fresh start to the day, week, month, or year. Having the rough edges softened now and again calms the senses and eases the harshness that can sometimes be found in our surroundings.

I have lived in many different places and many different kinds of environments and I can say for certain that this happens everywhere not just in the Stars Hollow’s of the world. The scent of snow changes things and offers, for some of us, an eager anticipation while the sight of a winter blanket can make the ugliest view from the window something to look forward to and enjoyable to just watch. And, best of all, snow brings us together and allows us to huddle inside (or occasionally help one another outside) and enjoy the company of our loved ones.

It has the potential to make us slow down. Sometimes just for a few minutes and sometimes for days. But, most importantly, it changes our perspective and brings a different kind of appreciation to what we have, where we are, and the beauty that the weather can produce. It can be an amazing time of year if you let it so why not take the chance and embrace the cold.