Today Is About Listening

There is much more to today than showing our appreciation for the sacrifices made by those who served in the military. Today is about those who gave everything, the most that anyone can give, to this country and to us. Today is about showing our humble gratitude to those who will never be able to read or see our words. Today is about listening rather than speaking.

In between the countless posts and comments streaming across the screen of my laptop confusing Memorial Day with Veteran’s Day there have been a few instances when I paused and simply listened to what was said or stopped to read what was written. Those words were from the men and women who survived, many of whom attest to their survival coming at the cost of the life of another soldier. Others were recollections of the smiles and aspirations of soldiers who never returned home.

At the same time, I see the pictures and faces of families now absent a son, daughter, father, mother, brother, or sister. These are the instances that give me a moment of reflective pause as I think about those with whom I shared a barracks and I wonder how many of those soldiers never posed for another family photo after those sweltering days in Missouri. And I also think about who had to take my place once I departed.

I also think about the leaves in the family tree that never fully developed having been pruned early in life during a time of war. Whether it is my 7^th great grandfather, Rufus Cone, having been captured by the British during the Battle of Long Island he subsequently died aboard a prison ship on August 27, 1776, or my 4th great grandfather, Jacob Teaford, who watched as his fellow militiamen were buried in mass graves in Norfolk, Virginia in the fall of 1814, or my 3^rd great grandfather, Jacob Worth, being entombed in the USS Tecumseh during the Battle of Mobile Bay on August 5, 1864, or many of the cousins, close and distant, that have given all to defend this country. All of these family tragedies and sacrifices remain at the forefront of my mind on this day.

It is because of this, these accounts past and present, that we must always listen to what needs to be said and understand that many of the sacrifices that were made were so we could live the life that we do in a free country. At the same time, there is no telling what would have happened to us had someone not stepped in and paid that price. Past or present, today we must honor the memories of the true heroes of this country.

Did You Remember That Today Is Armed Forces Day?

Too often, Armed Forces Day is one that is overlooked on the calendar. For whatever reason, that is what happens just about every year. This, in part, is why I try to pay particular attention to these words and why I wanted to share my thoughts on this day. First, let us take a look at how Armed Forces Day came to be established as recorded on the Department of Defense website:

President Harry S. Truman led the effort to establish a single holiday for citizens to come together and thank our military members for their patriotic service in support of our country.

On August 31, 1949, Secretary of Defense Louis Johnson announced the creation of an Armed Forces Day to replace separate Army, Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force Days.

The single day celebration stemmed from the unification of the Armed Forces under the Department of Defense. 

The only thing that I would add to this is that while we cannot express our thanks to them personally, this should also be a day when we reflect upon the service and sacrifice of all those in our family tree. Their service has, in many ways, allowed us to reach this day and made it possible for such a recognition to come to fruition. When looking back in my own family, there are specific generational touch points in every US conflict from the foundation of this country to the present day and touching upon all branches of service.

While anyone familiar with the military knows that there is a certain banter between branches, this is one of the days that unifies all who have served or are serving. While Veteran’s Day primarily focuses on those who have served or are serving at this moment and Memorial Day honors those lost in service to their country, this is a day that tends to give an overarching recognition by honoring the service of all. It is also a day that transcends time not ascribing respect to one generation or another.

This is the primary reason why this day is one that gives me pause as I reflect both on the decision that I have made in my own past as well as those on the decision made by my family members past and present. And while I commonly write in a similar way on Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day, one can never think about the service of others enough. Collectively, those men and women served our country and for that I will forever be grateful.

Lost Memorials

Picture taken while searching for family in Leverington Cemetery...
there shouldn't be any open spaces in a full cemetery. 

Over the past few years, I have visited a few cemeteries trying to find the names of family members in the vast seas of grass and stone. Sometimes I have been successful while other times it has proven to be a harder task than expected. However, during each of those visits, I remember walking by the graves of countless veterans many of whom passed away long after their service but some who were killed in action.

There were a few resting places that were well maintained and the grounds were easy to access. Others have become far from the idyllic resting place that they once were and now seem to have been forgotten. These are the places that need our attention on this day not the grills, parks, and festivities to which we have all grown accustom. In one of the more run down cemeteries that I have come across, those graves were of soldiers who died while fighting in the Civil War. It seems ironic that these resting places are the ones forgotten on this day when these graves were the original impetus for the holiday.

It makes me wonder how many parades have walked past these resting places in recent years without the participants thinking twice about those who lay, unrecognized, a few yards from their feet. I have been asked to participate in countless parades but I have never once been asked to place flags on the graves of soldiers. Maybe I should be the one who changes this lack of tradition next year.

While I enjoy the time that I am able to spend with my family, the purpose of the day seems to have been lost. The focus now seems to be on not having to go to work (different than focusing on spending time with family) and sales… the holiday itself seems to have been sold. All the while, we forget those for whom this day was meant to honor. And there is no other more visceral reminder of this change in priority than the decrepit state of many cemeteries around us especially within the city limits.

There are too many places out there that need our help not just for those for whom this day recognizes but all the families that are represented in many of these forgotten resting places. After all, you never know when you might go looking for your family and not be able to find them because their headstone has long since crumbled, sunken, or fallen to the ground. All you need to do is walk in one of these cemeteries and see the open field of grass to realize that there are countless people who will now remain nameless to realize the importance of this situation. And on this day, think about the possibility of someone buried there who gave the ultimate sacrifice who will never be recognized for their service again.

Earth Day Needs To Take A Back Seat

The more you know... 'Palestine' was a British creation. 

You may have missed it but yesterday was Earth Day. While this particular box on the calendar may be important for some, it really takes a back seat for many of us as there is a much more important moment to celebrate. Actually, it begins with a day of mourning which is quickly followed by celebration. Besides, it is a little late to be celebrating Tu B’Shevat.

Beginning on Tuesday night and into Wednesday we honor the sacrifices that many Israelis, soldiers and civilians, who lost their lives. While Yom Hazikaron has been traditionally dedicated to fallen soldiers, commemoration has now been extended to civilian victims of political violence, Palestinian political violence, and terrorism in general. This Israeli Memorial Day is a serious and somber occasion as there is no one in the Jewish State who has not been effected by these losses. It is a day when, for a brief moment, the world stops and remembers…

We honor those sacrifices but celebrating the following day. We remember the lives lost and honor their memories by celebrating our Independence. It wasn’t long ago when this was impossible having been scattered into the diaspora for hundreds of years, persecuted, and murdered. Now, on Yom Ha’atzmaut, we celebrate the fact that we have been able to return home, live independently, and defend ourselves.

With all that has transpired in recent years, particularly in recent months, this day is more important than ever. It is a victorious moment in our history that we must carry with us along with the horrors that preceded our return to our homeland. Our existence, our independence, is a constant struggle that is continuously under attack from those around us. Some attacks are obvious while other undermining efforts are quite subtle… this has definitely been proven lately.

We all have our differences in this uniquely diverse holy land but it is also that same land that binds us together as one people. This bond goes well beyond religion as there are more than just Jews in the Jewish State. This bond is to the land, to one another, and to our right to exist. Our independence brings us together as one people, as Israelis.

So while some people, particularly in the United States, saw the day as one dedicated to nature and the environment, there are many that see this as a time to honor sacrifices as well as celebrate achievements. It is a time that marks the loss of life as well as a return home. It is both a day to celebrate people and the land, our land, our homeland, the Holy Land.

A Memorial Day Perspective

Gettysburg National Cemetery, 2013.

Today is one of those days when I can’t help but be grateful for sacrifices made by others to ensure that we are able to live the lives that we do. Without those who gave all for this country we would not be able to enjoy the rights and freedom that we do today. It is for this reason that I am so angered when some insists on stripping the rights and freedom of people through the stroke of a pen which flies in the face of the sacrifices made to preserve all that we have in this country.

As I have done before, to give you a concise description of the holiday, I am pasting the introduction below that can be found on Wikipedia:

Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering the men and women who died while serving in the country's armed forces. The holiday, which is celebrated every year on the last Monday of May, was formerly known as Decoration Day and originated after the American Civil War to commemorate the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in the war. By the 20th century, Memorial Day had been extended to honor all Americans who have died while in the military service. It typically marks the start of the summer vacation season, while Labor Day marks its end.

Many people visit cemeteries and memorials, particularly to honor those who have died in military service. Many volunteers place an American flag on each grave in national cemeteries.

Annual Decoration Days for particular cemeteries are held on a Sunday in late spring or early summer in some rural areas of the American South, notably in the mountains. In cases involving a family graveyard where remote ancestors as well as those who were deceased more recently are buried, this may take on the character of an extended family reunion to which some people travel hundreds of miles. People gather on the designated day and put flowers on graves and renew contacts with kinfolk and others. There often is a religious service and a "dinner on the ground," the traditional term for a potluck meal in which people used to spread the dishes out on sheets or tablecloths on the grass. It is believed that this practice began before the American Civil War and thus may reflect the real origin of the "memorial day" idea.

Memorial Day is not to be confused with Veterans Day; Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans.

One amendment that I believe that should be made to this holiday is to honor those active duty personnel and veterans who lost their lives due to physical or psychological injuries received in combat. This is an issue that seems to be forgotten, especially considering the controversies running rampant in the Department of Veteran’s Affairs and VA Hospitals throughout the country. We need to honor those veterans fighting those battles beyond the theater of war and do all that we can to ensure that they are not one of those fallen after the war is over.

We must honor those who fought and remember what the fought for. While an imperfect union, it is the best that we have and we should not allow the flick of a pen to change the course of our country and question the freedom in this country that we all tend to take for granted. We must remember, support, and defend all that those men and women gave their lives to defend. That is the best way we can celebrate Memorial Day today and every day.

Holocaust Remembrance Day

 

Today we stood in silence to recognize and remember the voices that ceased to whisper, the memories that refuse to fade, and the people who took a stand and fought for life and freedom from inside the walls of the Warsaw Ghetto. It is a difficult day to describe in words making the acts of this day that much more important. Even now, having been able to reflect throughout the day trying to pull my thoughts together and having written about this in the past, I am struggling to string the words together to form this simple post.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this day The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum summarizes this somber anniversary in the following way:

The internationally recognized date for Holocaust Remembrance Day corresponds to the 27th day of Nisan on the Hebrew calendar. It marks the anniversary of the Warsaw ghetto uprising. In Hebrew, Holocaust Remembrance Day is called Yom Hashoah. When the actual date of Yom Hashoah falls on a Friday, the state of Israel observes Yom Hashoah on the preceding Thursday. When it falls on a Sunday, Yom Hashoah is observed on the following Monday.

There is no set list of rules or means of observance for the general public and eve the means of observance in the Jewish community outside of Israel varies. However, in Israel, it is a national memorial day and public holiday. And while many in the United States have a certain perception when it comes to the term memorial day, this day is marked a little differently in Israel. In fact, there is a moment during the day that people outside of the holy land would find hard to believe as the Jewish State literally comes to a halt and honors this day in the best way that they can… in silence.

For me, today is one that I take a moment to appreciate all that I have and all that I have been given, large and small. On this day, as the hours pass, I grow increasingly grateful for the most overlooked gift which we are all given… life. It is that gift which we all have in common that makes us step back for a few moments and think about the ways that people embrace that gift living a loving and faithful life and those that use that gift to persecute others for the differences that they perceive in them. It is that dichotomy that forces us, at times, to fight for the freedom to live.

With the setting of the sun, the day came to an end and brought with it the dark of night that so many millions never escaped. But tonight we are grateful for the stars in the sky that will be only temporary and watch over us as we sleep. When we wake in the morning we will have the opportunity to once again embrace that precious gift that continues to both amaze and confuse us. We have another day to live and a life to fill with memories.

Not Your Usual Quote of the Week Blog

The quote for this week is not from some famous author nor is it bullshit spewed from the mouth of a politician, it is not of a movie star’s flub or a news anchor’s Freudian slip, it is not from Torah or some tormented poet, it is not from a TV show or western philosopher commonly misquoted by half thinking college students. This quote is nothing special; it is a very simple question that was posed to me by one of the building board members at the Memorial Day party on Monday -  

“Have you ever thought about taking (property) management classes?”

This is a topic that many residents and other board members have skirted around during our occasional conversations but it had never been put so bluntly and I was taken back for a second. Thankfully the food arrived before I could respond and I was off to help set up the tables. I have put off thinking about this question until now. Let’s see where the free flow of thought takes this one…

Honestly, this is something that has never crossed my mind mainly because there is no way that we could afford such a luxury at this point. Having worked at the building since September, I really enjoy talking to residents and helping out in any way I can… there is a great sense of pride I take in my job by making sure all of the major things are taken care of while, as the same time, making sure the little things are executed correctly. Sometimes it’s as easy as walking to the elevator as they get off and offering to put their mail in the mailbox while other times it is answering the phone every morning and letting one of our more senior residents know what day it is. But what has gotten the most positive reception is simply paying attention when someone gets on the elevator, standing up when they get to the lobby, and saying good morning (even if they don’t say anything back).

Wow, tough job isn’t it. Sad to say, you would be surprised by how many people I have seen come and go during my brief time but the people that get it are the ones that will always have a job.

This is the basic foundation of the hospitality industry and customer service in general. It is not about getting the job done, it’s about how you get it done and the little things you do along the way that make it as pleasant and enjoyable experience as possible for the customer or in this case the resident. It is the job of management to make sure that this is the focus of the staff. Of course, there are many other things that need to be addressed on a daily basis and sometimes the basics are put to the side but so long as they return to the fundamentals and ensure that the focus remains on exceptional hospitality with business and logistics being the supporting factors of that ultimate end.

So I guess that this post is my consideration of that question. Maybe management classes would be a good fit. After all, my background is in public and client relations so it seems to be a natural progression if the right opportunity presents itself. At this point I can't rule anything out. I have to be open to the opportunities that come my way. Let's see what happens.  

Hike Up Your Shorts, Grab the Booze, and Head to the Pool!

The problem with working at the same building in which I live is that social occasions can sometimes be a little awkward. This was the case at the annual pool party at my apartment building yesterday as much of my time was spent convincing people whom I have become friends with since moving in to allow me to assist them and clean up after them. After numerous assurances, I was able to get to work and earn the money I was getting paid.

The funny thing is that the occasion wouldn’t have been much different if I weren’t working… I am always willing to help at a party I attend and I am happy to get things for people during those events. It’s just good manners and being a decent human being. So, essentially, the only difference was that I was paid to attend a party rather than having to pay to attend.

It is during these events that I am also reminded of the skewed view that some former colleagues and others whom I have met during my time living and working at the building have of some of the residents and the community as a whole. It is true that many residents have their quirks and some like things a certain way but they are good people and if you treat them with respect they will treat you in kind.

While I have experience in client and customer facing positions, this position has been my first experience working in hospitality. But the same rules apply: be attentive, be respectful, be presentable, and abide by the cliché of treating others as you wish to be treated. This is not a complicated proposition - it all comes down to common sense.

 Overall, the weather was good, the pool was empty, the alcohol was flowing, and I got paid which translates to a good time had by all!

Put Down Your Hot Dog For A Second!

Today is Memorial Day, a day that we remember the men and women who lost their lives to ensure our safety as well as our way of life. This is something that we should all be conscious of on a daily basis but sadly we forget. This is a day for us to refocus and appreciate what we have.

Just as I remember the fallen on Veterans Day, for me, Memorial Day is also a day to remember those who could have easily been one of the memorialized. Those who were saved by being a day late or a day early, those who were born a year prior or a year after, and especially those who were sitting a foot to the left or a foot to the right. These people could have easily been etched on the monuments of the fallen. These people need to be remembered and honored not just for their own service but as the keepers of memory… the brothers and sisters in arms who bear the burden of survival and wrestle with the pain of memory. This is also the reason why we should remember the brave lives that were lost somewhere else besides the battlefield.

I consider myself fortunate that there have only been a few in the many generations of my family, from the Revolutionary War to the present, which have lost their lives fighting for this country. However, there have been countless generations who have struggled with their own memories and many who have had to carry the guilt of life.

For this reason, I take this time to not only remember the sacrifices of the fallen but also offer my undying gratitude to all those who have served and could have easily been a second too late or early. Thank you!