Mortgage Monday: Labor Day Labor

While I don’t have work today the ironic thing about this Labor Day is that there is work being done at the house. It seems as though every minute of free time that my brother in law has had lately has been committed to this HVAC overhaul. For the past month (or more, I can’t recall when he started) he has joined us for the weekend forgoing time with his family and taking a break from his already long work week. There is no questioning that we are incredibly lucky to have him devote so much of his free time to not just getting this project done but getting it done right.

This is the part of Labor Day that tends to be overlooked. Many of the people whom we honor with this day are the same ones who would do anything to help their family. The same people that deserve to take a break tend to be the ones that can never stop working.

Thankfully, we are almost done with this phase of the work. A couple more weekends and everything should be complete and the way that we want it and the way that he wants it. There is already a huge difference in the house both with regard to the regulation of the temperature and the cleanliness of the system (the old one was, to put it nicely, nasty). Just a short time longer and we will all be able to enjoy the new system.

In future years we hope to have him at our house again during this particular holiday but this is, hopefully, the last time that we will ask him to do any work on the house. Actually, we hope to have the family join us in the future to relax not to work on the house and enjoy the work that was put into making our home as comfortable as possible. It shouldn’t take long before we start having family over again to enjoy the house.  

In the meantime, we are continuously cognizant of the sacrifices that our brother in law is making to help us out (and my sister and their kids) and we are doing our best to make him as comfortable as possible while he is here. We try to keep the beer fridge stocked, have good food on the table, and a bed made. We also have an open door so that the kid and my sister can come over and spend some time. But, the most important thing right now is that we try and do everything we can to give him back his weekends as soon as possible.

One Day Makes A Difference

Even as I type these words and watch them appear on the screen I still can’t believe that it has already been a year since we met our son for the first time. Our lives changed in an instant and I can still remember the feeling of shock that originally hit me when my wife’s water broke. While I was able to pull myself together, collect most of our things, and drive us down the snow dusted highway to the hospital, that daze didn’t really lift until hours later when our son grabbed my finger for comfort as the nurse cleaned him off.

There are moments from that day, and from the week for that matter, that remain a little hazy having melded together in a jumbled memory but there are also moments, good and bad, that remain clear as if they only happened an hour or two ago. That is what makes this passage of time so unbelievable. And while there have been trying moments to be sure during this first year of parenthood, I wouldn’t never want to go back to the way things used to be. Being a father, sometimes even a good father, is what I enjoy most each and every day.

It has been an interesting year full of first experiences, difficult moments, and challenging situations. It has been a calendar full of change but one that has brought us to a great place in our lives. There have been the funny moments of dodging poo and casting wee rainbows, nurturing times when our son got sick or was overwhelmed during his growth spurts, and adorable moments when he would smile, laugh, or nuzzle in our arms. And the daily joy beaming from his face, some days it is more prevalent than others, is enough to make even the most difficult days disappear.

Of course, we also find ourselves in the unique position of celebrating and mourning at the same time. While our son’s birth and my mother-in-law’s passing technically happened on the same day, this is one of the times that I insist on going by the Hebrew calendar. By doing so our son's birthday, the 26th of Sh'vat, 5775, is separated from the date on which my mother-in-law passed away, 27th of Sh'vat, 5775. Having that single day of separation makes a huge difference at times. It is interesting how faith can be comfort in the most obscure ways in addition to the guidance that it provides during times of struggle.

However, while there are no trips to grandma’s house that our son will remember about growing up, he still knows his grandma and recognizes her in pictures. It hasn’t been easy but there is a bond between the two of them that we both wanted for our children long before our baby became a reality. We didn’t plan on it happening this way but the important thing is that they are connected, our son knows his grandma, and his laugh when he sees her picture eases just a little bit of the pain from that day.

And this is just one of the many ways that our son continues to change how we look at life and the world. At times he has been our sole reason for happiness but mostly he has provided us with the love that permeates every moment of life and makes us remember that the love is what we always need to remember. Whether someone is here or not, the love remains. As I have said before, I will forever be thankful for that gift which our son has given us.

It is a complicated day, couple of days actually, but one that comes down to the most simple of statements… Happy 1^st Birthday my adorable baby boy! Mommy and daddy love you!

A Different Thanksgiving

There is a lot to be thankful for this year. Seems to be quite the clichéd way to begin this post but sometimes the truth is in the cliché. There have been a lot of great things that have happened over the past year for which I am incredibly grateful for even in light of our usual annual routine being completely different than what we have become accustomed to over the years. Not all changes have been good ones but that doesn’t mean that this past year hasn’t been good or that we are less thankful for what we have. If anything, we are even more grateful for the things that we have now.

With everything that has happened this year and especially over the past month my wife and I decided to really change things up for Thanksgiving this year and do absolutely nothing. Well, more accurately, we decided not to go anywhere and stay home to both enjoy the holiday as a family and get a few things done around the house. Remember, we haven’t even been here for a week at this point and there are still plenty of things to do and organization that needs to be done.

It was actually a really nice break and while we didn’t accomplish all that we had planned, we were able to spend the extra time together and take a few moments to catch our breath. And, for our son, it was an extra day to catch up on his sleep and recover from the lack of routine offered by the daycare… thankfully we have found a solution for that as well. However, the most important part of thanksgiving this year was to step back and allow ourselves to try and transition from our previous annual routine and prepare for what the future holds for this day.

We are going to have to find a new holiday routine now that so many things have changed and we are now settled into a home with our son. And while we didn’t do much today we really experienced a lot over the past year so taking the day off was very much needed. We have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of memories to cherish. It is a different holiday at this point in our lives and one that has taken on an entirely new meaning. We are thankful for many of the things that have happen this year and, at the same time, we are thankful that the year is almost over.

The Gifts Keep Coming

It felt like this for a while. 

During the course of the year we have received countless gifts from friends, family, and coworkers for our son. Having now lived through this, I can say that this is the time in life when you see the greatest amount of generosity. The first couple of months of the year saw the greatest deluge of packages and envelopes, but there is still a light trickle of gifts even as we head into the fall. It is pretty amazing the amount of items we have received over the months and we continue to be thankful for each and every item that we receive (even the ones that we return or exchange).

Admittedly, it can be a little daunting at times with the amount of stuff that has accumulated in our house but, in the end, it is all stuff that we have had to purchase anyway. It is interesting to think about the number of things and boxes that we originally moved into the apartment four years ago, the increased amount of stuff that we moved from the apartment to our current house, and the volume that will have to be packed and moved to our next home. And I am sure that the accumulation won’t stop there either.

I wish that I was as thoughtful as many of the people that we have in our life. Time and again, I have been presented with the same or similar opportunities and for one reason or another (usually finances or forgetfulness) too long a time passes and the opportunity is gone. I certainly have to get better at this as it is also a time to pay it forward and show the same generosity that has been shown to us. Hopefully there are many more opportunities coming up.

Sometimes I forget about just how great many of the people in our life are and this experience has been a clear reminder of quality of people that we have in our life. And don’t get me wrong, it is not about the numbers. Some of the greatest (and many time most useful) items have been the small thoughtful things that served us well during this learning process. Sometimes it wasn’t even a gift. There have been many times when the help or a willing ear have meant a great deal when we needed them. The gifts have only proven even more how much others car about us and our son. That is what it is all about and that is what we try to convey to our son each and every day.

What We Have Done And Have Yet To Do…

There is a certain amount of frenetic stress that enters into the picture as a stated meeting approaches and this month that was magnified by the fact that this was going to be our official district visitation. There was a lot of work that went into the meeting which I previously wrote about. Thankfully, everything was taken care of and by the time I got to the lodge the long list of tasks was completely crossed out (due in large part to the assistance that I got from a variety of brothers from the lodge).

Official visitations are an interesting night. There are a lot of different ceremonies and presentations that take place as well as recognition given to those individuals who have earned the honor to be noted in front of all the lodges from the district for their accomplishment. While in an odd turn of events there weren’t any brothers in attendance to be recognized for their long masonic service (we have a number of 25, 50, 60, and 65 year members this year as well as a 70 year member), many of the newer brethren were present.

This group included two brothers who have met the requirements for the Master Builder Award. Having received this honor myself, I know the great sense of accomplishment that comes with this recognition. It continues to be a great mark of achievement for the lodge that we, as the smallest lodge in the district by membership, have nearly twice as many Master Builder Award recipients than the rest of the district combined. This is a distinction that we continue to pursue thanks to the dedication of our new brothers.

However, the greatest honor of the evening was not one presented to an individual. Toward the end of the meeting, the District Deputy Grand Master addressed the lodge with plaque in hand. The efforts of this lodge were being recognized with the Grand Master’s Award. We are the first lodge in the district to receive this award and, again, it is because of the efforts of the lodge as a whole that this was even a possibility. We may be small but we are active, we are growing, and we are motivated to better ourselves, our lodge, and our fraternity.

With all the honors bestowed throughout the night it would be easy to sit back and enjoy what has been accomplished. However, we are already half way through the year and there is still a lot that needs to be done. We have accomplished a lot but, speaking for myself, I know we can do a lot better and I personally can do a lot more. The foundation is here and now is the time when we have to build. 

Firearms Friday: FUBAR Laws (Chicago Edition)

This past week, everywhere I turned while walking the streets of Chicago I saw signs in the windows and on the doors stating that there were no firearms allowed. It was a rather disturbing sight as I felt a little uncomfortable knowing that the only people that would be carrying in those buildings are law enforcement and those who consciously decided to break the law. While I certainly have no problem with the former, it is the latter group that bothered me. After all, law abiding gun owners are not the problem facing this country, illegal firearms ownership is the issue and I seriously doubt that a sign would prevent them from walking through the door especially when they know that no one inside is armed.

Further, those residents in the state of Illinois have to deal with a myriad of other restrictions. Wikipedia actually does a pretty good job summarizing the hoops that law abiding gun owners must jump through both to purchase and to carry a firearm in the state (keep in mind that the city of Chicago is a whole different beast altogether):

To legally possess firearms or ammunition, Illinois residents must have a Firearm Owners Identification (FOID) card, which is issued by the Illinois State Police to any qualified applicant. Non-residents who may legally possess firearms in their home state are exempt from this requirement.

The state police issue permits for the concealed carry of handguns to qualified applicants age 21 or older who pass a 16-hour training course. However, any law enforcement agency can object to an individual being granted a permit "based upon a reasonable suspicion that the applicant is a danger to himself or herself or others, or a threat to public safety". Objections are considered by a Concealed Carry Licensing Review Board, which decides whether or not the permit will be issued, based on "a preponderance of the evidence". Permits issued by other states are not recognized. Open carry is prohibited in most areas. Without a concealed carry permit, a firearm must be unloaded and enclosed in a case when it is being transported.

There is a waiting period to take possession after purchasing a firearm — 72 hours for a handgun, or 24 hours for a rifle or shotgun. For private sales, the seller must verify the buyer's FOID card, and keep a record of the sale for at least 10 years. Lost or stolen guns must be reported to the police. Possession of automatic firearms, short-barreled shotguns, or suppressors is prohibited. Possession of short-barreled rifles is permitted only for those who have an ATF Curios and Relics license or are a member of a military reenactment group.

Illinois has state preemption only for certain areas of gun law, and some local governments have enacted ordinances that are more restrictive than those of the state.

It is no wonder why Chicago has such a low crime rate! Oh wait, that doesn’t quite add up now does it. Thankfully I am back in Pennsylvania where the laws remain reasonable (for the most part) and I don’t have to worry walking into many of the buildings that are around me. It is amazing what happens to the crime rate once you travel beyond the iron curtain of urban sprawl and the oppressive states that make up a shrinking portion of this country.

Gobble Gobble: Part Two

Growing u we always had Thanksgiving dinner at home and while at the time I didn’t think about this annual routine now it has become something that I think back on and enjoy. The last several years, with all of us getting married, having kids, and moving around those dinners have shifted around. Most years our day would consist of a few stops and this year was no different with a couple of stops during the day. Each time it has been a slightly different schedule but the biggest difference had been that we would no longer go to my parent’s house for the holiday.

Thankfully, my wife and I were able to revisit those memories a little bit and have a post-Thanksgiving meal with my parents tonight. It was just the four of us but it allowed us to spend time with them, eat, chat, and just enjoy being there without having to rush out the door to go somewhere else. We have had many meals with my parents as we enjoy being there and catching up on all that is going on, receive great advice, and sometimes plan for the things just around the corner. It really is a home for both of us.

Tonight made me miss a little bit the simpler Thanksgivings without the commotion and the running from place to place when we could just show up and pick up conversations as if we had just seen them earlier that day. I guess you could say that one of the things that I am most grateful for is the relationship that my wife and I have with my parents and the support and guidance that they have always given us. Some may not be able to relate to this statement at all but I consider myself privileged to have been born into my family.

That is something that I hope that we will be able to pass on to our son. I want him to have those memories of family holidays filled with family and know that we are always there for him. I guess you could say that is one of my greatest fears… that he will not look back at Thanksgiving and other family gatherings with the same love and appreciation that I do now. Maybe that is why I am so excited not just to meet our son but to introduce him to his family.

Brought Together By The Gobble Gobble

I thought about posting something early this morning for the Thanksgiving holiday but after giving it some thought I decided to hold off until the evening. I made this decision because of the simple fact that the clichés surrounding this holiday have a strong foundation in truth. There were several things up in the air this year and you really never know what situations could have come up to give a little extra flavor to the festivities.

Our plan for the day was straightforward, we headed to my mother-in-law’s house to spend the day there and do our best to create another great memory for her. But first it was time to turn on the oven and create something to bring to the meal. As always, there was no recipe to be followed and once the Brussel sprouts were prepped I just looked around the kitchen for the things that I could add to make it taste somewhat edible. In the end, it turned out to be halfway decent.

We got to the house just after noon with food already out and the marathon of eating began almost immediately. With various football games echoing the background (with the occasional enthusiastic gesture highlighting the action) we all enjoyed the day and prepared the day long dinner. I guess we can be thankful for an uneventful day filled with food and family.

As we finished cleaning and began packing things up to head out the door, we decided to swing by and see the rest of my wife’s family. A slightly dangerous move as we would be walking into more food and an insistence to try at least a few things on delectable display. While we were, for the most part, able to stave off many of the treats that lay before us, we did manage to top off our stomachs.

While food always plays a big part in this holiday, it was a great time from beginning to end when we were able to see family. Both those that we had seen not long ago and those whom we have been unable to connect with for months. It was a warm and relaxing day full of food and family which is all anyone can really hope for. And with so many things to be thankful for, there couldn’t have been a better year for all of this to come together.

There is a heck of a lot to be thankful for this year. More so than in previous years (especially those of recent memory). There have been major changes and minor ones with plenty more on the way. Throughout it all we have had the support of family and friends and that is what I am most thankful for this year.

Another Half Year Down

You don’t have to look at the calendar to realize that it’s July. For the first time this year the sweat was flowing freely down the faces of anyone who stepped outside for more than a couple of minutes. The immediate chill and relaxation upon opening the door to the office building is something that is unique to summer and if often the highlight of the morning commute. And, for the first time in three years, I have been able to enjoy the heat of the day and sleep wrapped in the cool of the night.

It seems that it was a mere few weeks since I last wrote about the resolutions and the recap of the previous things checked off the list. That is not what this blog is about, not today, not this summer. There are too many great things that have happened so far this year some that I previously listed as goals and resolutions while others just happened, surfacing in the flow of life. I have been too focused on lists at times to truly embrace the greatness of this world and the gift of life that we have all been given.

This year has been one of tremendous personal satisfaction and, thankfully, stability. While it has been far from perfect, there are few things that I would go back and change. I couldn’t tell you any particular instance that comes to mind as I can’t recall the moments to which I reference. I have made a point to forget that which prevents me from keeping my eyes looking forward. While I am not always successful in this endeavor, I am making the effort and I am definitely better off for doing so.

And one of the tools that has allowed me to do this is this blog. This is why you will occasionally read the rants or the recounting of days that may have been led astray. Writing these things down allows me to forget. Words and photos are things that live in the past. Once a picture is taken or a word is written it is immediately thrown into the past. It was captured. It was written. Only the sentence that I construct at this very moment is a piece of the present. All other thoughts and actions have already happened and been recorded.

It has been a great year so far and one that I am happy to forget. All those moments are within me, stored in my mind and influencing my current direction, but they are not cognizant thoughts that dominate my every moment. Each of us have in our own mind the greatest story ever told which only ends when we can no longer remember who we are and what we have done. This year has been great thus far and I look forward to continuing to write the story of my life in the following days, months, years, and for the rest of my life. And the best part of this story is that no matter how much I try to plan or anticipate I have no idea what is going to be on the next page.

Changing Things Up For The Holiday

It was an odd feeling today not going to work today. The past couple of years have always been ones that I knew I would have to be working in order to get the holiday pay. This year it was a great feeling to be back on a salary system. It was nice to get up and out of the apartment knowing that we could be out all day and not have to worry about getting back for a shift. Today made it clear how important it is to have the day off in order to really relax and enjoy the time with family.

While we changed up the usual annual plans, it was a good day all around and one that carried some extra importance as was mentioned in my previous post. Although, I admit it was a strange feeling knowing that I had gifts for my wife for Thanksgiving. Nothing much but still not something I am used to.

There were great moments during the holiday including some texts from my coworkers who seemed to be having a good time cleaning their plates. There were also some moments that I could have done without including a particular “conversation” with my mother-in-law that required some firm language and a courtesy warning for the future. Lastly, toward the end of the night, we heard that my nephew, who we usually see during the holiday, was looking for me all night. I kind of wish we were there for him.

But, good and bad, it was nice to change things up this year. It is a different year to begin with and one that has seen a lot of changes in our lives so why should this holiday be any different. While we have been thankful in the past it would take us a few extra seconds to pinpoint our gratitude. This year we have plenty to be thankful for and much to look forward to in the year to come. Maybe not as much as the friends on Facebook who have announced their pregnancy but great things to come nevertheless.

By the time we got home tonight I was exhausted. Actually, I was yawning for about half the drive back. So, I am going to close this post rather quickly and get to bed. No shopping for me this year just a slow trip to bed and a night full of snoring and not working while I enjoy being full, grateful, and hopeful for the future.