TMI Tuesday: Poo Rainbow

Not long after our son arrived and they brought him back to our room in the maternity ward we were warned of all the things that we would be encountering when we changed his diaper. “Oh, the things you’ll see” as Dr. Seuss would say. However, words can’t really express the interesting moments of discovery when we peeled back the tabs and saw the carnage laid upon Pooville.

It all started with the tar pit. This is the kind of nasty stuff that they find dinosaurs in and what they use to patch highways. It’s like trying to clean up a pile of black superglue. I was half tempted to call the EPA when his diaper seemed as though it was attached with Velcro and the wipes seemed to whimper in the corner of the bassinet.

Slowly but surely these emanations transformed into a consistency that we are all familiar with. “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poopon?” Why yes, yes I do. That’s right, I was never a big fan of mustard to begin with but I am certainly avoiding it now that I have seen the “seedy Dejon” that our son had been producing. And that is exactly how the doctors and nurses describe the consistency… it is even found in the little take home poo packet.

Seeing all this is one thing but seeing it in action is another. Last weekend we found ourselves playing the part of Lepookans doing our best to avoid being caught at the end of the poo rainbow. Ever since we found out and told people that we were having a boy they all warned us to block the winkie but no one bothered to inform us of the other fountain that poses a threat to new parents.

We were nearly done changing his diaper and about to pull up his new Pampers when all of the sudden someone decided to squeeze the mustard bottle and my wife and I ducked for cover. Thankfully there weren’t any fans in the room that it could hit and really cause a mess. Safe to say we had a little extra laundry that had to be done that night and made be seriously consider putting up a splash guard at the end of the changing table.

However, even with the flurry of fierce feces, things have been going pretty smoothly and, most importantly, baby seems to be happy. He’s a bit of a gassy little baby but none of that matters when I pick him up and he smiles as he looks at me. Of course, there are those interesting times when he holds his hand out seemingly saying “Daddy, pull my finger!”

Oh, The Places I’ve Been!

I was flipping through the channels on the television during my shift this morning and came across a couple of travel shows. I can’t remember the names of them but that is really unimportant at this point. Seeing the images roll across the screen began to jog my memory and I started thinking about all the places I’ve lived over the years and all the places I have seen throughout my travels.

The list remained as simply a thought and it may have stayed that way if I didn’t come across a similar discussion question in a networking group invite asking about where I have lived. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to make it to the meeting so I decided to respond with some of the places I have called home over the years. That list quickly evolved into a joint venture with the thoughts already floating around in my head.

While I wouldn’t consider myself an extensive traveler, I have been to a number of places throughout the United States and a few places abroad. I have lived in a few places always trying to find somewhere to call home. And while I am not going to go into any details at this point I still wanted to share my list with you. So, here it is. Here are all the places that I can think of in my bleary eyed state.

UNITED STATES (19/50):

·         PENNSYLVANIA – Philadelphia, Longwood Gardens, Harrisburg, Gettysburg, Knoebels, Milford, Delaware Water Gap, Lancaster County, Kutztown (Crystal Cave), Jim Thorpe, Williamsport, New Hope, Gardners (Appalachian Trail Mid Point)

o   Lived In: Bryn Mawr, Chesterbrook, Bala Cynwyd

·         MASSACHUSETTS – Boston, Newburyport, Haverhill, Worcester, North Adams

o   Lived In: Beverly, Salem

·         VERMONT – Brattleboro, Montpelier, Burlington, Stowe

o   Lived In: Northfield

·         NEW JERSEY – Highland Park, New Brunswick, Teaneck

o   Lived In: Ocean City, Metuchen

·         NEW YORK – New York / Manhattan, Niagara Falls (supposedly, I don’t remember)

o   Lived In: Brooklyn

·         NEW HAMPSHIRE – Portsmouth, Nashua, Londonderry

·         ROAD ISLAND – Warwick

·         CONNECTICUT – Hartford, West Hartford

·         DELAWARE – Wilmington, Dover

·         VIRGINIA – Natural Bridge, Virginia Beach, Williamsburg, Lexington, Lynchburg, Winchester,

·         MARYLAND – Baltimore

·         GEORGIA – Milledgeville, Americus

·         FLORIDA – Orlando, Kissimmee / Disney World, Key West, Daytona Beach, Miami, Winter Park

·         TEXAS – San Antonio

·         ILLINOIS – Chicago

·         MICHIGAN – Grand Rapids

·         CALIFORNIA – San Francisco, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Ojai

·         WASHINGTON – Seattle, Bainbridge Island

·         MISSOURI – St. Louis, Fort Leonard Wood (Fort Lost in the Woods)

·         DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

·         NORTH CAROLINA

o   Drive through

·         SOUTH CAROLINA

o   Drive through

·         WEST VIRGINIA

o   Drive through

·         MAINE

o   Drive through

ISLANDS:

·         PUERTO RICO – San Juan

·         US VIRGIN ISLANDS

·         BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS

·         NETHERLANDS ANTILLES

·         SAINT MARTIN

·         BERMUDA – Hamilton

·         ARUBA

EUROPE:

·         UNITED KINGDOM – London

·         GERMANY – Munich, Olympic Park

MIDDLE EAST:

·         ISRAEL – Jerusalem, Dead Sea, Tel Aviv

o   Lived In: Jerusalem

That is the simple list of the places I’ve lived in, visited, and driven through. As I said before, not huge but I also wouldn’t consider myself sheltered. Please let me know if you would like to hear about any of the places I’ve visited or lived in. If you let me know you’re interested I will be sure to write about it in a future post.

So where have you lived? What places have you visited? Do you have any favorites?