How Can We Explain Autism To Children?

Ever since my wife and I had the privilege to spend some time with a family with two autistic children a few months back (you may remember that it was one of the first posts on this blog) I have been kicking around the idea of writing another children’s book. The main reason is that I couldn’t find a book about autism geared toward the picture book age. Doesn’t mean there isn’t one out there I just haven’t been able to find it.

As if this project wasn’t hard enough, I am coming from a place where I have zero experience with autism. It made the process both easier and much harder. Easier because I had to focus on the few clear examples but much harder because I am long winded anyway and even more so when I am just learning about a subject. So, after a couple of months of thinking and rethinking and wondering what the heck I was doing I finally got to the point that I was able to put a few words on the page.

Below is the first, and very rough, attempt to tackle the subject. There seems to be something there worth saving but it also needs a lot of work mainly because I can’t see the words yet. It is repetitive but that is completely intentional. I don’t know exactly how I am going to tweak it but I am almost certain that changes will be made often until I can fine tune it.

Abby Knows Best

Abby is like any other little girl.

Abby likes little dogs, she likes watching cartoons, and she has her favorite dark green bear.

Abby was always different.

Abby doesn’t go to the same school as the other kids in the neighborhood.

Abby goes to a school where all the kids are just like her.

Abby is autistic.

Abby likes to visit her own little world where she twists over and over again.

Abby doesn’t talk but she speaks with her hands and through pictures.

Abby is sometimes hard to understand but she understands everything she hears.

Abby can’t read books but she can read people.

Abby doesn’t make eye contact but knows what is going on around her.

Abby shies away from contact but she always knows when you need a hug.

Abby doesn’t like loud noises but she loves the sound of her mother’s voice.

Abby likes playing with her dad and her older sisters.

Abby is happiest with her family.

Abby is a special little girl who knows love.

So, now that you have read the first draft (actually the second draft), what are your thoughts? Is this understandable for both parent and child? Most importantly, for those of you who know much more than I do on the subject, is it accurate?

Please let me know what your thoughts are on this project as I am, like I said before, definitely not in possession of any significant knowledge in this area. I know what I see and what I feel. Sometimes that is enough and sometimes it isn’t. I just want to do my part, as small as it may be, to raise awareness and cast a different light on these children who are not handicapped they just have a different way of life that we can't fully grasp. We are all made differently and we all interact in our own way with one another and the world around us. Different doesn’t mean better or worse it just highlights the uniqueness and individuality of life. That is what I want and what I hope shines through in the story above. 

Autism Has A Voice Without Words

My wife and I try to take a day trip every weekend and this weekend was no exception (I will be writing more about our travel plans in a future post). This is a big change to how we have been living our life over the past couple of years and I really believe that this is a change in the right direction. Our drive this week was particularly short but it goes to show that you don’t have to go very far to have a great day.

Drexel Hill is only about 20 minutes down the road from our apartment and there may not be much to see in the way of scenery or places you would go out of your way to visit. Simply put it is not a destination spot. This was not a “tourist” kind of trip or a day of exploring, this was a day to we were able to spend an afternoon with a great family.

It is not unusual for us to visit friends when we have some free time (especially now that our schedule has opened up a little) but this was different for me as this was the first time I was able to meet them. My wife first got to know them when she became the personal care assistant for their youngest autistic son about a year ago. Over time, even having changed placements, my wife has remained in contact with them and a strong friendship has developed over the months.

Even though my wife has talked about this family ever since she started working with their youngest son and she has educated me as to the basics of autism, this was my first real experience with children with this ‘disability’ (my previous experience was at somewhat of a distance volunteering at a few Philly Friendship Circle events). By the end of the afternoon I came away with the simple reality check that spending real one on one time with a family with two autistic children will not only give you honest examples of some of the challenges that the family faces but also many of the amazing attributes that these children have.

The older of the two boys spent much of the time on the computer during our visit. He quietly played a game while his parents were talking with us. He joined us later in the day, talking up a storm, and playing a game on the iPad with his father. You could tell he was a happy and healthy child who was enjoying time at home with mom and dad.

The younger son, with whom my wife had previously worked, is non verbal and shy. He was constantly nuzzling on and against the couch while he watch "Thomas the Train" videos on YouTube also, like his brother, on an iPad. A couple minor observations about this… First, I know many adults that don’t know how to use an iPad. Second, I know a lot of people who have never been on YouTube (and many who wouldn’t even know what it is).

The two children had one prominent thing in common and one significant difference. It didn’t take long to see that both boys love their parents and would show that in their own ways while, at the same time, the parents freely reciprocated that love and showed them the attention that, unfortunately, is lacking in many families. Communication is where you can clearly see a difference - while the older son openly talks and asks about this or that, the younger son is non verbal and communicates primarily through both his actions and his picture cards (hopefully, this is something that will change as he gets older). But there is communication, there is love, and there is an amazing family.

While differences exist and it may not be the easiest situation for parents to find themselves in, they have much more than most ‘traditional’ families and there is a lot more love and happiness in the eyes of those children than you will find in most kids their age. This is why I put quotation marks around the word disability above because from my perspective they may have differences but, in many ways, they are much more able than many of us. This is clear in the lessons we can learn from them if we just pay attention, look beyond the words, and listen to the voice of autism without words.