TMI Tuesday: ‘Tis The Season of Swamp Butt

During the colder winter months and even into the slightly warmer spring, the aroma that filled the car during our son’s moments of colonic expression weren’t really that bad. When they happened we had a little time to get where we needed to go before changing him. However, as the weather has gotten warmer and the sweltering sun beats through the window during these late summer months, the window of opportunity is much smaller before we begin gasping for air. There have been more than a few occasions when a window had to be opened.

Such is the dilemma during this season of swamp butt. While you want to get to where we need to be as soon as possible, the smell that permeates every crevice of the car at times prevents us from staying on the road. There have been some interesting stops in the past couple of months from small dirt patches on the side of the road to all kinds of parking lots. We have actually become quite adept as spotting a clearing in the distance where we know we can stop, open the hatch in the back, pull the stroller out, and get the job done on the all-weather mats (something I am glad that we got for the car).

There are even times when our son gets a look on his face that shows that even he is a little disturbed by the smell rising up from his car seat and swirling around in the cabin. Sometimes he can smell the swamp butt before the wave hits us. This is particularly interesting given the fact that he is becoming more aware of his surroundings with every passing day. Even while we have been house hunting, there were a few moments of stink when the next stop seemed so far away despite our appointments being so close together.

So, for all the new parent out there I would like to leave you with a little jingle to which we can all relate during these summer months when the sun wreaks havoc on the senses and our eyes water as we search for the nearest place to pull over…

Deck the car with bowels of dookie,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

‘Tis the season to be stinky,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Don we now our stained apparel

Troll the summer colonic carol,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Half Year At Ludicrous Speed

 

When our son was first born people kept telling us to enjoy this time in our as it will go by faster than we could imagine. While there were some long days here and there that common sentiment holds true as the past six months have gone by at ludicrous speed. Things have certainly changed and it is hard to imagine that our growing boy was once so small trying to grasp my finger as the nurse bathed him for the first time.

Soon our son will be heading off to daycare as my wife returns to work and we hope to have a new (and permanent) place to live in the very near future. There are changes that are fast approaching and I can’t imagine that the next six month will move any slower than the last half year. I’m just glad that we heeded that early advice and done all that we could to take in each and every moment and spend as much time as we could with our son. A routine that we look forward to continuing as the days, weeks, and months slowly slip by.

While he has yet to speak a coherent word (he sounds like a drunk talking to his imaginary friend right now) he keeps trying and it is only a matter of time before he surprises us both with an as of yet unknown first word (hopefully not a Focker moment). It is one of those moments that will seem like it takes forever to happen but will actually go by so quickly that we will once again wonder where the time went. This seems to be the case with all of his milestones, major and minor.

It has already been six months and there are definitely things that we could have done differently and times when I wish I was able to be there but there is also a plethora of memories that I will cherish forever, those moments when I made sure I was there, the time during the daily routine that makes the day just a little bit better (and sometimes stinky). One would think that all of those smiles and laughs would begin running together by now but that is certainly not the case as each morning, each laugh, and each smile at his daddy, remains as vivid as the moment it happened. Six months later and I am more excited to be a dad with every new day that passes.

TMI Tuesday: Squishy Doesn’t Mean Comfy!

Every night I look forward to crawling into bed onto the slightly squishy mattress and enjoying the comfort for a few minutes before falling asleep. Even when away from home, the same basic routine applies and while I prefer the firmer memory foam at home the plush squishiness on the road is sometimes a welcomed change. Regardless of where I am, it is this little moment of relaxation that ensures a long and restful slumber.

Our son has pretty much the same routine as his daddy. However, there is such a thing as too squishy which he proved early on within the first month of being home. It is this experience which has impacted the way that he has slept ever since.

It all started in mid-March when we hear his intense cry piercing through a rather pungent odor. It was clear that the mess in his diaper was not conducive to his ability to sleep which by this time was usually 5 or more hours at a time. When he was brought over to the changing table we couldn’t really blame him for being uncomfortable. Baby’s first night of swamp butt has stuck with him.  

Since that night our son has, for the most part, refused to poo while he is asleep at night. Naps seem to be a big exception to the rule. Basically, out son just doesn’t like the feeling of laying in his own stinky squishiness and would rather hold it in until morning.

This brings about an obvious drawback because the morning can be a rather vicious time of day. It is when everything seems to wake up and in the midst of his morning stretch everything is let loose. The people at Folgers didn’t take this into account when considering what might be the most dominant smell to perfume the morning.

Unfortunately, we have also found that while he still doesn’t like the feeling, he doesn’t quite have the mastery of his bowels when sitting in the car seat. Those seem to be the most interesting occurrences which usually result in the changing of outfits and a strong urge to give him a quick bath. All the while, pooping is fair game when someone is holding him.

While it smells, it’s messy, and it can be annoying when it happens in a newly sealed diaper, you can’t help but laugh when he gives you that cheeky little smirk that he has already managed to master. He may crap, and crap a lot, but he is so darn cute while doing it that it doesn’t seem that bad… at least in hind sight. And the loud loads are just funny.