TMI Tuesday: Where Have You Been Daddy?

This place was an interesting experience. 

Over the past few days I have been away on a business trip and my son was definitely not happy with the situation. Obviously, the explanation that I gave him before leaving on Sunday morning was insufficient and so he has been acting out since the moment I closed the door. Even when I called in the evening hours and spent about an hour on the phone, it didn’t seem to allay is uneasiness about daddy not being home. I guess you could call this the down side of having a son that is a daddy’s boy.

When my wife and I were planning out this trip we knew that my flight got in early enough that I would be able to take my time and still be able to pick him up from daycare later in the afternoon (just before his usual pickup time). So, after stopping by the house to drop off my travel bags and wash up, I turned around and made my way down the street. When I opened the door and said hi to my son he seemed to have a look on his face of disbelief which quickly dissipated as his scurried across the floor and tugged on my pant leg.

While I could tell that he was happy he was quiet throughout the short car ride home. However, when I opened the door to take him out of his seat, I saw the smile that always makes the day a little better. I guess he finally figured out that he wasn’t dreaming and that daddy was actually home. After a quick change and temperamental snack, we went into the playroom where he spend much of the afternoon staring at me and crawling over for hugs.

Once my wife got settled after unpacking a few bags from her car, we all went into the kitchen where I was finally able to spoil my son with a few small things that I picked up while in Austin (and yes I got my wife something too). Thankfully there was a toy store three blocks away from the hotel and a 20 minute gap in one of my days away. The stuffed animal was nice and he snuggled it a little bit but what really made him happy was the Austin t-shirt and hat combo that I found on clearance at the airport. However, even excitement in those items faded as he preferred to simply be held by his daddy, eat, and go to bed early. After all, he knew that daddy was home now and that he would see me in the morning.

TMI Tuesday: Hi Snow!

One of the fun things about the recent blizzard was that my wife and I were looking forward to introducing our son to some real snow not just the light dusting that we got a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully, as the frozen season descended upon us, our aunt sent our son a snow suit that will keep him warm and my wife picked up some tiny boots last week. We were all ready to go.

As we brought our son down from his bedroom on Saturday morning we made sure to walk over to the window and show him the white blanket across the lawn. He didn’t seem too impressed but was rather intrigued as to how different the yard looked. Of course, he did just wake up and we had yet to feed him so nothing is really exciting at that point. However, as he ate his breakfast he kept looking out the window as the sheets of powdered ice as they blew by the window.

It was a bit too cold to bring him out in the middle of the storm but the following day was different. The snow had stopped the night before and the sun was already starting to melt the tops of the piles. As we brought him down the morning after the storm he once again looked out the window, gave a little smile, and waved hi to the snow. It was the perfect weather and opportunity to introduce him to this winter tradition so we bundled him up and headed out onto the cleared asphalt.

He had a big smile on his face as we carried him around and seemed quite curious when we sat him down atop the two feet lining the driveway. He was happy and even giggling for a few seconds before beginning to squirm onto his belly and his back. While he was entertained a little when daddy helped him make a snow angel, he was over it. Turns out that he likes the way snow looks but would prefer to look at it from the warm side of the glass. Can’t say I blame him.

Of course, I am certain this will change over time as sledding enters the picture and, overall, he becomes more active. A time that my wife and I are definitely looking forward to… my wife can take care of the skiing, I’ll take care of the sliding on the rear. But, for now, even though the snow is fun and some would say magical for most kids, our son would much rather wave at the white stuff from the other side of the window. Bye Snow!

It All Begins With A Discussion

Since I had to leave the lodge earlier than expected last Thursday I was unable to sit down and get to know a petitioner that I had arranged to meet with during dinner. Thankfully things have since calmed down and the evening worked in everyone’s schedule so I was able to set aside the time last night and finally have a great conversation with our new petitioner. This is the first step, the most important step in my opinion, which is too often overlooked which is a shame because for me it is the most enjoyable part of the process. There is nothing like seeing that fascination and anticipation in the eyes of a candidate.

That was only the first of many productive conversation that I was able to have last night with various brothers as attendance at this particular fellowship was the highest that it has been in some time and a welcome sight for sure. Once the candidate was on his way, I soon transitioned to coordinating a few items with the Worshipful Master. There are a number of additional items that need to be included in the notice and some paperwork that needs to be prepared for the next meeting that I really don’t want to fall behind on. Ten minutes of productive dialogue is sometimes all it take to ensure that projects will be done on time.

And while it was great to meet with a candidate and have a petition in hand to read at the next stated meeting, I was greeted with an additional surprise when a seconded completed petition was discovered in my folder. However, this one came with a few questions and so my next conversation was with the first line signer of the petition. There are a few questions that still remain but there is a plan in place to address any and all concerns that I have moving forward so while there may be an additional step in the process it is a rather simple solution.

My final interjections for the evening was with a few of the other brothers who had convened to discuss the upcoming building committee meeting. There are a lot of projects that need to be undertaken both immediately as well as a few years from now and the list that was reviewed reflected exactly that dilemma. It will actually be interesting to see how this upcoming meeting is run as the roles overlap significantly with some of the other responsibilities of other brothers in the lodge namely the Trustees. I am hoping that this can be resolved quickly so that each can move in the right direction… the same positive direction that the membership is moving in.

So, while I may have missed the stated meeting last week and there are undoubtedly a number of things that I am still missing, I managed to get up to speed on just about everything that needed to be taken care of this week. It won’t be long now before the next meeting is upon us and then it will be back to the monthly routine. In the meantime, I am sure that there will be plenty of discussions, debates, and projects started. It is going to be a busy year but the good kind of bust this time around.

Still Looking

Lately our weekends have been filled (at least half of each weekend) with our search to find a home. Our weeks have also been packed with numerous searches on various real estate websites trying to find that perfect place. We have also been looking to find properties that have the potential to be exactly what we want (at a lower price point of course). It has been, and continues to be, a long process.

While we have our list of things that we want in a home, we also have a strict budget. One that we determined not just by how much we want to spend but also how much we have been prequalified for by the bank. Fortunately, this part went relatively smoothly as both numbers ended up being about the same with the slightly higher figure coming from the lenders. It is nice to know what we actually have to work with when we look at properties rather than running the possibility of seeing something we like and wondering if we can get approved.

What we have also been running into here and there is the fact that we are getting toward the end of the real estate season so there isn’t as many listings and sometimes when we have expressed an interest in taking a closer look there is already an agreement in place. On the one hand it says a lot about the areas in which we are looking but on the other it is, at the very least, cause for the occasional moments of frustration. We can’t really do anything about it besides look at the others that are available and hope that we find what we are looking for.

However, we have introduced slight adjustments to our criteria which have opened up a number of other options. You never know what you might find that falls just shy of some of the things on our wish list (this is most notably found in the size of the property). On the other hand, one thing that we haven’t adjusted and will not adjust is the commute time for my wife. I guess the same can be said for everyone’s search to find a home… you have flexibility in some areas and you have to hold firm in others.

Overall, this is whole process is both exciting and frightening. We are both looking forward to owning our own place and finding our home but I am terrified of two very simple things. The first being the fact that we would be taking on around $200,000 of debt. Enough said about that one. The other is just part of my nature… if we agree on a deal and purchase a house, is there a better one out there, is there another place about to come on the market that would be a better fit for us. I guess we will have to just wait and see what we find but, for the most part, these are two things that I am eventually just going to have to accept and be happy with what we have. From beginning to end and afterward, it is not going to be easy.

Not Much Longer Now…

Enjoying the quiet while it lasts!

I really don’t know where the time has gone. It feels as though we had just surprised the family only a short time ago with the announcement but it has now been eight and a half months and our son’s arrival is fast approaching. On the one hand I wish that we had more time to prepare the house and ourselves but on the other hand I can’t wait for the day when we can meet our baby.

The emotions have been running high lately with the stress even higher. The one constant during this time has been the comfort that our child brings when I feel him moving beneath my hand. Having him already starting to bond with me in that small way has made many days and countless moments bearable and the world just a little bit better. It is interesting to think that his arrival will make things so much more complex but at the same time simplify things like we have never experienced before.

Both of us have our moments of eagerness, times of stress, and instances of panic and nervousness. There are times when we want the birth to happen right then and there and other moments when we wish we had just a couple more weeks. With so many things that have been going on I wish we had more time to enjoy the anticipation and excitement. Those moments have been too few and far between.

Looking back there are moments that I will forever cherish... remembering the moments when decisions were made, furniture was slowly constructed, and the times when I was able to stand back for a few minutes and watch my wife fold baby clothes and put them away. I will never forget those moments that the two of us shared. They will remain prominent right there with the moments when we told our parents, the first time we saw our son and heard his heartbeat, and the even going back to the instant when we both agreed that we were ready to start a family many years ago sitting along King George Street in Jerusalem.

It has been a long time coming and while it may not have seemed like it was moving along so quickly in the moment, time has moved so fast and I wish we could just slow things down so we could enjoy the moments, minutes, and seconds. So many things have changed since that instant when we found the strength to become parents and all the trials since that discussion have continued to prepare us for what is just over two weeks away. While I still question whether I will be a good father I know that we will be a great family. Or, at the very least, an interesting one.

Birthing Class, Pizza, And A Hospital Visit

Having gotten up early the day before and out of the apartment all day, Sunday was not a fun experience getting out of bed. But we had good reason for an early rise as we were off to class yesterday! We had signed up for the birthing class about a month ago and opted for the one day variety instead of the multi-week long process that just doesn’t agree with either of our schedules at this point.

A little sluggish and having been held up by anything and everything along the way, we were the last ones to arrive but thankfully the class had only started a couple minutes prior to our arrival. Obviously, we jumped right in as soon as we were able to take our coats off and take a seat. Another new experience during this new adventure.

The class went well offering up a lot of information and answering numerous questions that everyone had. It was led by one of the nurses from Bryn Mawr Hospital whom you could tell was well verse in fielding all of the different questions that new parents have. While the class was interesting it was a little repetitive and the warm room did not mix well with the lack of sleep from the prior week. I did stay awake and pay attention but there were a few touch and go moments here and there.

Halfway through we all left to get some lunch with a time set to resume the educational portion of the day. I didn’t have to say much knowing that my wife would probably like to go to Peace of Pizza. Not surprisingly, we found the majority of the class at the counter ordering their meals when we walked in the door.

There were also a number of families there for lunch with gaggles of young kids circling them like hyper sharks. We didn’t think anything of it and smiled at the situation before taking another few bites. However, my wife and I were amused when we saw the looks of terror on the faces of our classmates. I guess they weren’t quite ready for the dose of reality.

We returned to the class and finished up the sitting portion of the day with a few games that brought a little perspective to the situation. After these we completed we got back in the car and we all met at the hospital for a tour of labor and delivery. While those terrified looks seemed to creep back onto many of their faces I could feel the two of us getting more and more excited (and more nervous). Time is going so fast and it won’t be very long before we return expecting to leave as a family of three.  

Great Way To End The Work Day

Here is our son beating up mommy!

Yesterday was a busy day at the office with various events and new projects that we have to prepare for. It is a long and sometimes stressful experience but also something that we can be proud of once everything comes to pass. As the long day wound down I slowly packed my bags, closed my computer, headed out the door, and off to my next appointment. These days, these appointment, are ones that I continue looking forward to as the weeks slowly drift by. It is time to check in on the baby.

My wife and I both arrived at the doctor’s office early and after catching up a bit on everything that is going on and discussing the questions that we wanted to ask the doctor we made our way through the doors, checked in, and sat in the waiting room. Every visit there seems to be a certain amount of excitement coupled with a slight hint of nervousness. It is safe to say that the worrying starts before the baby arrives.

It wasn’t long before we were escorted back into an examining room (amid glares from all the pregnant women who were sitting there when we first walked in). After a quick weight and blood pressure check it was time to hear one of the most calming, if not the most calming, sound that we have in our lives at this moment… our son’s heartbeat. It is a sound that fills the room (especially now that it is so much easier to find) and one that makes me look forward to the day when I will finally be able to hold him.

The tranquil moment passed as the nurse headed out the door and we waited for the doctor to appear. Again, a perfect time to make sure we had all our questions ready. The doctor came in, took some measurements, and let us know that our baby boy was perfectly healthy… all tests have come back negative, heart rate is normal, and the measurements are right where they need to be. Essentially, our kid is probably never going to be this ‘normal’ again.

Once we silently reveled in the god news of a quick moment, we began posing all of the questions that we have been reviewing for days. All of the ‘let’s just double check with the doctor’ type of questions. The doctor took her time, answered all of the questions that we had, and let us know about what we should expect during the next appointment in 4 weeks. I’m sure we will have more questions for the doctor upon our return but, for now, everything is progressing as it should and we are looking forward to meeting our happy and healthy (and VERY active) little boy.

It’s A…

Samantha and I pulled into the parking lot of Paoli Hospital a little later than we were expecting. It wasn’t a matter of choice as traffic was particularly bad this past week. We were both particularly eager to get into the building and excited to start see our baby again. After all, this was the ultrasound appointment that everyone has been asking about in one way or another and we had been waiting for this appointment for some time. Of course, the day finally came and we both got held up before leaving for the hospital and slowed down on our way there. That seems to be the case for many of our appointments.

Thankfully, the office was very understanding when we called to let us know of our delay and they greeted us warmly upon seeing us walk up to the front desk. It wasn’t long before we were sitting in front of the ultrasound monitor seeing our child kicking and punching the crap out of Mommy. While it was a little odd for me to watch it was even stranger for my wife as she could both see and feel the baby hit her stomach.

We sat there in awe of our child as measurement after measurement was taken and they checked the development. We watched the screen as image after image was captured and they confirmed the health and development time and again. Everything was progressing as it should when we heard a little chuckle from behind the screen. This was quickly followed with the question of whether we wanted to know the sex.

As it turns out, our baby passed the winkie test.

Our little baby boy, my son, is happy and healthy. He is an active little baby a day ahead of schedule. While I would have been happy no matter the sex of our child, knowing that we are having a boy did bring me a sense of relief. I would have loved our child no matter what but I know what it is like to be a little boy and I am looking forward to every moment that I can share that experience with my son. I have a feeling that my wife would have felt the same way if we had found out it was a girl.

Everything suddenly became a little more real in that moment. We will soon have a son. I will soon have a little boy who will carry on the family name. I am more nervous than I ever thought I would be but I think I am now ready to be a father. As an added bonus, my sister now owes me five dollars!

That’s My Child!

Helloooo Baby!

Early this morning I couldn’t help but quote the Big Bopper when I saw the picture come into focus. Before our eyes, we saw the profile of our baby slowly take shape as the woman moved the ultrasound around my wife’s stomach. What a drastic change from what we saw just five weeks ago!

We were still a little dumbfounded as they began measuring and checking all that they could in the image to make sure that the little one was progressing normally. Given their parents, this might be the only time in their life that they are considered normal. After these initial still shots, it was time for baby to have a little fun. Yes, it turns out that baby likes to mess with people just like their daddy.

Throughout the process, the baby was moving around and having fun in their little rent free dwelling. When it came time for some more pictures that required the baby to be in a certain position that is when it decided to do their own thing… we could hear the doctor talking, asking the baby to lay on its back followed by a slight nudge with the scanner.

Baby did exactly what you think it did, it rolled onto its belly. It took numerous attempts and a few minutes before the baby rolled all the way around. This is when we could really see the profile and see the face of our child. Five or six still frames later the doctor was almost done but baby had enough. Baby raised their arm, either to wave bye or make their first attempt at giving someone the finger, and rolled over again. That’s my child!

That was the end of our visit for today and I will say that this was the best reason to roll out of bed early. Even groggy, it was an exciting morning for the two of us and another day that we will never forget (at least until we are old and senile). Now we just have to wait for some blood work and come back for some more family photos in a couple months… I guess my wife knows what she is getting for her birthday this year!

Twelve weeks in, the baby is healthy and the reality is really starting to settle in. While I was never in denial, seeing a much more developed picture of our child really hit home and has me both a little concerned about our living and financial situation but also eager to meet him or her (I still think it is a boy). It has been quite an early morning and a really long day of thinking.

Not Just Another Day Out Of The Office

This time last week I left the office in the middle of the day to go to a doctor’s appointment. While the timing was not ideal, it was the only appointment that worked in both our schedules. Fortunately, everyone at my office knows that I only schedule things in the middle of the day if there is no other option available so they were fine with me leaving at two. Honestly, I don’t know how I would have gotten over it if I was not there to see the first pictures of our baby. Yes, you read that correctly, I am going to be a father. Happy wood anniversary to us!

While we had the tests done to confirm the previous week, this first ultrasound was a completely different experience when you see the fast flicker of the heart on the screen. It is an instantaneous bond that most have experienced but no one has been able to accurately express. It is a life changing moment that makes you reconsider your perspective of the world around you. For some, their views change but as for me, to my surprise, that moment solidified every perspective that I have expressed in this blog and in person to many of you. In fact, I am glad that I have continued to write as I want my child to look back and really know who I am (like Michael Keaton in “My Life” except I am not dying anytime soon).

Above all, it is an immense feeling of excitement and fear. I am excited to see our child, teach them about life, share with them the thing that I have learned in my limited years, and make sure that they don’t make the mistakes, of which there are too many to list, that I have in my life. I am also fearful of falling short as a father and for the simple fact that I am now responsible for another human being on this earth and that I must do everything in my power to protect my child and keep them safe. Simply put, I worry that my child will not look at me the same way that I look at my dad.

So, this is the last means of communication in announcing this exciting news. We have seen and heard a wide variety of reactions to this news and we have tried to soak it all up as the experience washed over us like a tsunami. But even though it is sometimes difficult to process moment to moment, it is a time that I will never forget especially when I was able to see my mom’s face when she realized why it would take eight months before her birthday present arrived. And just think, this is only the first of many moments that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.