Leaving Things Unsaid

Replacement posts are an interesting thing to write as you try and look back at what was said and find a different (sometimes completely different) way of getting your point across. I guess this is one of the issues that I have in trying to keep a daily blog… I have to produce so much that sometimes things aren’t handled in a proper manner. The things said may be true but there was a better way that they could have been said. In the end, it is my fault. So here is a different, more reserved, take:

As I have written before, the moment my son was born was the greatest moment in my life. I will never forget seeing him for the first time and the calm that came over me when I first held him in my arms. He still has that effect on me and I will forever be grateful to him for providing my wife and me the peace that we have been seeking especially during this trying time in our life. Thankfully, my son also makes me a better person and so most of my rants remain in my mind and in these (now limited) words. Just another reason for me to be grateful for the gift that we were given just two weeks ago.

This is a pretty drastic shift as I am someone who can cut a bit across the grain at times (I know, you couldn’t tell from my unbiased Switzerland-like posts) and there are moments when I will let that opinion out in the moment and with a rather substantial amount of vigor. I guess you could say that my son has been a pretty good filter for me. However, like any good means of purification, sometimes there are things that will make it through but that is more about what is having to be filtered.

In the end, there are still going to be a lot of people that don’t like me for one reason or another, one opinion or another. And the same can be said on my end, there are many people that I do not get along with, and don’t want around me. However, I don’t have control over everything and I don’t have control over any body. The only thing that I have complete control over is my own opinion which I openly share on this blog (maybe sometimes to a fault). Who knows maybe I don’t even have complete control over that. But, for now all I can do is look at my son, take a deep breath, and hope that the calm continues to win out over the crazy moments.

That’s My Child!

Helloooo Baby!

Early this morning I couldn’t help but quote the Big Bopper when I saw the picture come into focus. Before our eyes, we saw the profile of our baby slowly take shape as the woman moved the ultrasound around my wife’s stomach. What a drastic change from what we saw just five weeks ago!

We were still a little dumbfounded as they began measuring and checking all that they could in the image to make sure that the little one was progressing normally. Given their parents, this might be the only time in their life that they are considered normal. After these initial still shots, it was time for baby to have a little fun. Yes, it turns out that baby likes to mess with people just like their daddy.

Throughout the process, the baby was moving around and having fun in their little rent free dwelling. When it came time for some more pictures that required the baby to be in a certain position that is when it decided to do their own thing… we could hear the doctor talking, asking the baby to lay on its back followed by a slight nudge with the scanner.

Baby did exactly what you think it did, it rolled onto its belly. It took numerous attempts and a few minutes before the baby rolled all the way around. This is when we could really see the profile and see the face of our child. Five or six still frames later the doctor was almost done but baby had enough. Baby raised their arm, either to wave bye or make their first attempt at giving someone the finger, and rolled over again. That’s my child!

That was the end of our visit for today and I will say that this was the best reason to roll out of bed early. Even groggy, it was an exciting morning for the two of us and another day that we will never forget (at least until we are old and senile). Now we just have to wait for some blood work and come back for some more family photos in a couple months… I guess my wife knows what she is getting for her birthday this year!

Twelve weeks in, the baby is healthy and the reality is really starting to settle in. While I was never in denial, seeing a much more developed picture of our child really hit home and has me both a little concerned about our living and financial situation but also eager to meet him or her (I still think it is a boy). It has been quite an early morning and a really long day of thinking.