Saturday, January 2, 2016

A New Batch Of Solicitors

When my wife and I first discussed buying our first home we agreed that it would be nice to finally have a landline again. For the past several years, with the impermanence of renting, it was simply easier just using our cell phones for everything that we needed. Having that simple luxury was hugely representative of the permanence that we have both been seeking for some time. When we bought our home it was one of the first things that we had set up and while it did give us that feeling that we have been looking for there have also been brief moment of regret for doing so.

Throughout our first month in our new home, the phone would ring at least a couple of times a day. Many times, fortunately, the calls came in when we were both at work but there have also been plenty of other calls, usually right after we put our son to bed, from various companies trying to sell us one thing or another. This also included many companies wanting us to switch our newly connected services or ADT resellers with whom the fact that we already had ADT installed didn’t quite register. One conversation went something like this:

“Hi, my name is Joe with [insert reseller] and we have some great deals on ADT home security systems…”

“You’re wasting your time… we already took care of this.”

“Congratulations on your new home… are you and your family protected by ADT?”

“We had ADT installed last weekend.”

“But ADT provides a superior product and service…”

“It is an ADT system.”

“But ADT is the leader in the security industry…”

“We had an ADT system installed last weekend”

“Are you sure it was ADT because there are knockoffs?”

“Okay, you got me, I just have a stray dog chained outside the front door with a GoPro streaming to my laptop. Please don’t tell PETA.”


“Do you think that qualifies as animal cruelty?”

“I… I…”

“I feed him regularly and clean up after him. Heck, I even took him to the vet. I figured I would make it easy on everyone so I decided to name him ADT.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about sir. I’m Joe from ADT.”

“I know. And now that you’re listening I will reiterate. We had ADT installed last weekend. Please add this number to your do not call list.”

However, those were not the most exhausting calls. We also received a few interesting calls from service providers that don’t even offer service to our area… someone at Verizon needs to get a clue as we would have kept our service had it been offered at our new place. Can’t say I was quite as jovial as I was with the ADT guy but the conversation ended the same way… “Please add this number to your do not call list.”

While I understand and appreciate the fact that many of these people are just trying to make a living, the sheer volume of these calls has become ridiculous. Having the same company call four or five times a day for weeks on end is harassment. And, of course, they don’t leave a message nor do they even know what they are talking about when they call. Case in point being an electric provider that was “concerned to see that our electric bill from [insert name of power provider that we don’t use here] had increased so much over the previous month.” First of all, I call BS. Second, put me on your do not call list, goodbye!