TMI Tuesday: Adjusting And Replacing

Our son is growing. This is far from a surprise but that doesn’t mean that the rapidity of his growth is something that we were necessarily prepared for. We knew that we would be changing clothing sizes on a regular basis according to months but we are quickly finding out that those numbers on the back of the clothes are merely a suggestion (diapers too). Currently our three month old son is fitting comfortably in six month clothes. What can I say, we have a long baby… and a heavy baby too.

In addition to the bassinet that we previously moved him out of because of space limitations, we are now finding ourselves having to purchase a separate changing table for the same reason. We originally decided to purchase the changing table attachment for the crib that we selected. The thought that this would last a bit longer than it has was obviously a mistake. He is now only an inch away from the top and bottom which usually leads us to change him diagonally. We knew he was growing but we thought we had some more time. Looks like another visit to Amazon.

We have also been frequently adjusting his car seat. When we first started driving him around we got an insert to keep his head up and to just make things more comfortable for him. The insert is now gone and we have now had to adjust the straps twice so that he fits. All because he is getting to long for the previous setting. Again, we thought we had a little more time but that is simply not the case… time is flying and our son is growing way ahead of schedule. We wish we could slow things down and enjoy more of the moments and him as a certain size but that is one of the many things beyond our control in this adventure in parenting.

While we should probably start trying to plan for the continued growth of our, not so little, baby it seems as though any timeframe that is suggested as the ‘norm’ just doesn’t apply. He is growing faster than all of the books, websites, and the doctors originally thought and he is slowly becoming more aware of everything around him. In nearly all categories, he is ahead of schedule regarding all means of growth. His coordination is progressing, his strength is dramatically improving, and his size is beyond what we expected. We have a healthy baby boy and that is all we could have every hoped for.

TMI Tuesday: Watch The Winkie!

We are currently operation at DEFCON 2!

It is pretty much guaranteed that when I get home after work our son’s diaper is going to be a little bloated. At nearly 12 pounds, he doesn’t really hold anything back. However, most of the time it is not what you usually think of when you hear about the droopiness of his drawers. While sometimes it is of a stinky nature, most of the time it is the flood waters that are testing the limits of the dam. This is confirmed by the bright blue racing stripe that appears on the front of the diaper.

Of course, whenever in doubt just wait for the crying to begin… our son is not a fan of the squishiness. These are the easy diapers to change… most of the time. Regardless of what he just finished doing, whenever the seal is broken and the emanations are exposed, the shields have to go up… there is just enough help back that a launch could occur at any moment.

While the nerves don’t take to kindly to the free flowing of flatus, it is the tinkle that usually causes the most trouble. At least with a number two you can hear him pushing and watch as his face turns a deeper and deeper shade of red. When it comes to the whiz his only tell is when his winkie decides to imitate a cold war missile drill. The launch could happen or it might not. Best thing to do is prepare the defenses and hope for the best.

My wife and I have discovered that you can really change a diaper quickly when under the threat of attack and most of the time the new diaper is on before the rain begins to fall. When this happens we just hope not to hear thunder which pretty much guarantees that precipitation is eminent. That is when we see the redness disappear and the smirk slowly grow into a full smile… at least it tames the fussiness for a moment.

In hindsight, all of this is a simple source of amusement. Thankfully, we haven’t had any major issues with changing our son… not like the rainbows that we encountered during our first month. With that said, we still have to remain cognizant of the limits of the diaper sizes. Our son is growing quickly and so are his volume requirements so we are continuously cognizant of the issue of proper containment. Hopefully we can continue limiting the onesie casualties, stay ahead of the growth curve, and make sure we keep changing him as fast as possible.

TMI Tuesday: Poo Rainbow

Not long after our son arrived and they brought him back to our room in the maternity ward we were warned of all the things that we would be encountering when we changed his diaper. “Oh, the things you’ll see” as Dr. Seuss would say. However, words can’t really express the interesting moments of discovery when we peeled back the tabs and saw the carnage laid upon Pooville.

It all started with the tar pit. This is the kind of nasty stuff that they find dinosaurs in and what they use to patch highways. It’s like trying to clean up a pile of black superglue. I was half tempted to call the EPA when his diaper seemed as though it was attached with Velcro and the wipes seemed to whimper in the corner of the bassinet.

Slowly but surely these emanations transformed into a consistency that we are all familiar with. “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poopon?” Why yes, yes I do. That’s right, I was never a big fan of mustard to begin with but I am certainly avoiding it now that I have seen the “seedy Dejon” that our son had been producing. And that is exactly how the doctors and nurses describe the consistency… it is even found in the little take home poo packet.

Seeing all this is one thing but seeing it in action is another. Last weekend we found ourselves playing the part of Lepookans doing our best to avoid being caught at the end of the poo rainbow. Ever since we found out and told people that we were having a boy they all warned us to block the winkie but no one bothered to inform us of the other fountain that poses a threat to new parents.

We were nearly done changing his diaper and about to pull up his new Pampers when all of the sudden someone decided to squeeze the mustard bottle and my wife and I ducked for cover. Thankfully there weren’t any fans in the room that it could hit and really cause a mess. Safe to say we had a little extra laundry that had to be done that night and made be seriously consider putting up a splash guard at the end of the changing table.

However, even with the flurry of fierce feces, things have been going pretty smoothly and, most importantly, baby seems to be happy. He’s a bit of a gassy little baby but none of that matters when I pick him up and he smiles as he looks at me. Of course, there are those interesting times when he holds his hand out seemingly saying “Daddy, pull my finger!”

Baby Errands

On Sunday my wife and I had to get out of the apartment. With everything that has been going on lately we haven’t had much time to run a few errands… they just kept getting pushed back week after week. Finally we made it to the mall and started hopping from store to store picking up the items we need. Nothing fancy just a few items of clothing, a very important pillow, and some additional footwear.

The largest part of our outing was our trip to Babies “R” Us which ate up about two hours of our afternoon. While we did find a few items that we could purchase (clearance combined with coupon was a deal we couldn’t pass up) the primary purpose of our store visit was to fill out our baby registry (which is not fun if you try and do it online). That’s right, for the first time since our wedding, we walked up and down the aisles, scanner in hand, doing our best to spend other people’s money (no, we didn’t run into Danny DeVito).

With memories of our wedding excursions resurfacing in our minds, we were not looking forward to the process. However, once we started scanning, we couldn’t help but enjoy the idea that we were picking things out not for ourselves but for our son. That was the turning point in the whole process as we kept on finding item after item that we wanted to buy for our baby.

Of course, there were a few things that weren’t as simple as point and scan and there were a couple of items that we will have to research further before adding to the list. Strollers and car seats took some time while monitors were put off for another day. And while we chose some outfits, there is still a lot of clothes that need to be added before that could even come close to being a complete list. Toys were another item (except for a couple stuffed animals) that we are holding off on.

By the end of the registry marathon, we had made a pretty big dent. All the furniture has been selected, travel items were put on the list, and every other category in the store supplied checklist had at least a few items selected (including a crap load of diapers - pun intended). Also added were the handful of items that we purchased that day… always remember to do this as you enjoy the registry benefits on things that you are purchasing namely cash back.

So my son should have a pretty good start and this should prevent us from having to bring back piles of merchandise to return and/or exchange. That is the theory. And now my wife and I no longer have the aversion to registries that we previously had as things are different now that we are no longer picking out items for ourselves (okay some of them we kind of are). While we aren’t quite ready for our son to be born we are at least making progress and feel like we have made one more preparation for his arrival.