Showing posts with label Clark Griswold. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clark Griswold. Show all posts

Friday, December 25, 2015

Reindeer Down!


The Christmas decorations around town are quite festive and are pretty understated compared to those that I am used to encountering around the Main Line. And while there are houses here and there that have light displays a few bulbs shy of Clark Griswold, there actually isn’t much in the way of individual decorations up and down the streets. It seems as though we all agree that being out here, away from the densely populated areas, the night provides more of a light show than anyone could ever string along their eaves.

We are also in an area where people are incredibly kind and welcoming in the course of our weekly encounters. We have rarely come across someone who wasn’t pleasant and, more often than not, there have been kind words and wishes shared and reciprocated. However, given the occasional sounds in the distance and across the street, Rudolph might want to consider investing in some Kevlar. Who knows, someone around here might hold him personally responsible for Grandma’s death.

I can see it now. After their usual tales from NORAD telling watchers and listeners that Santa was crossing the Atlantic on his way to the East Coast, millions of children lay their heads town struggling to fall asleep. Then, all of the sudden…

from down in the den there arose such a clatter
that they sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
but a special report saying there’s nothing to fear.

As the reports pour in the news conveyed by the third string anchormen seemed grim…

they showed little emotion and went straight to their work,
the search teams were deployed and the kids when berserk.
And laying the report just off the screen,
they echoed the outcome which lead to a scream.

They cut to the authorities at the scene of the crash,
who didn’t hold back not fearing the backlash.
And they heard them proclaim at they signed off from the sight,
Rudolph was dead and Santa was grounded for the night.

As it turns out, as was reported the following day,
Rudolph isn’t bullet proof and pulled down the sleigh.
A 12 gauge took him out and with dead weight dragging them down,
the other reindeer couldn’t support Santa and they crashed in a small town.

The fire took Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen
but only singed Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.
The presents were gone and Santa was pissed
because all that was left was a double checked list.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

You Can’t Help But Watch


Maybe it stems from watching too much Three Stooges when I was younger. Maybe it is because I am a rather simple individual. Maybe it is all comes down to intellectual laziness. For whatever reason, there are some movies that when you see them on television, listed on Amazon Prime or NetFlicks, or sitting on top of the 99 cent bin at the store you can’t help but watch them. Not because they are some cinematic masterpiece but because you don’t have to think when the movie is playing… it is all about being able to laugh for the sake of laughing. Some call it comedy in its purest for but I like to take a more honest view and see them as so stupid they’re funny.

Everyone is guilty of having that little list of movies in their mind that when they are playing you almost instinctively stop flipping through the channels or scrolling down the page. Three Stooges still gets me to this day although I have only caught myself watching a few minutes at a time. However, if I hear a familiar Clark Griswold line, a Mel Brooks melody, or Tackleberry’s overly intense and naïve take on a situation I immediately stop searching and enjoy the mental break. I even recall the rare moments when UHF was in constant rotation. However, there is one recent movie that I find watching more than any other which falls into this category… Super Troopers.  

I guess this one can meow be seen almost like the modern day Police Academy but I think it is much better. While there are few lines that I can recall from the 80’s franchise, Super Troopers has provided a variety of one liners that are burned into our brains (along with some unfortunate visuals). Meow that is a classic movie. However, while they made 7 Police Academy movies of varying quality, there has only been one Super Troopers movie. That is, until meow.

While scrolling through my Facebook feed I came across a post by Broken Lizard (the group behind the movie) about an announcement that they were preparing to make. When I checked back in a couple of days later I read about the interesting approach that they were taking to finally deliver on a sequel. As it turns out, they have decided to crowd fund the new project and they are offering some rather unique incentives to those who donate. 24 hours after launching their campaign to raise $2 million for production they far surpassed their goal. It looks like the sequel will soon be a reality and Bimpus sized at that. Of course, you can still grab a perk and make the movie even better. I guess I am not the only one who can’t help watching the movie.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

It Was A Griswold Kind Of Day...


It was not a dark and stormy night as the foreboding cliché goes rather it was a cold and crappy day. Today was just one of those days with single digit temperatures last night and this morning adding a bitter spice to the whole situation. I don’t know if I am getting sick or if the weather is messing with me more than I realize but it was a rough one. Every once in a while these days happen and all you can do is try to get through them in once piece and try not to let it carry over to the next day.

What began as a normal morning with my alarm annoying the crap out of me just before seven and me hitting the snooze button, soon took a turn for the worse. While I could hear my wife getting ready for work, the time that was passing wasn’t really registering. Even when I responded to her question at some point, I still wasn’t up and ready to go. With a slam of the front door, and another one just a little bit later, my wife was off to work and I was still lying in bed.

The next thing I knew, my eyes opened and noticing the bright light filling the room I knew I was screwed. Looking at the clock only confirmed my theory and so I quickly located my phone (which had shifted during the morning) jumped from the warmth of the covers and into the reality that this was already a bad day. As I rushed to get dressed and ready I began returning calls, making calls, and generally trying to return my mind to the present.

Within about twenty minutes I had gone from unconsciousness to sitting in the car waiting for the frost to retreat. Once there was enough windshield where I could peer out to see the road and the cars around me, I threw the car into drive and swung around the corner to cross in front of my building. Then my mind really started waking up and decided to remind me to stop by the mailbox to send a letter I had promised to put in the mail. Quick stop and back out into the wind whipped freeze.

While I made good time to the office I was obviously very late and had caused widespread worry among my coworkers and family. With the rest of the day full of blah with a few hiccups here and there and a couple other lovely moments I do not wish to highlight at this time, it was an overall crappy day. However, while I have known that we are more than just a collection of people in an office, today solidified that we care about one another as we would our friends and family. There was no anger in my momentary disappearance, it was genuine concern. Sometimes it takes a little bit of bad luck to show you how lucky you are.