TMI Tuesday: Potty Training Postponement

Last week was an experience. Following our trip to New York, and nearly a month of our son showing signs that he was ready, we decide to take the plunge (or plop if you will) and start introducing our son to the potty. Actually, it was a matter of reintroducing him to the toddler thrown that he picked out for himself at Walmart a few months ago. Well, it was an interesting first day.

It was a completely new routine for all of us as every couple of hours we would gather around the plastic bowl and read an appropriate book to our son as he sat there patiently. While there were a few hiccups early in the morning, things were moving along about as smoothly as one could expect by the time the sun went down. He seemed to be getting the hang of it and enjoyed both the stories being read and receiving the stickers which we pulled out as an incentive for sitting there calmly. He also decided to read to us while his bare bum was perched in his seat of distinction a few times.

The following morning, while I was groggily getting ready for work, I could hear the usual back and forth above my head as my wife and son made their way from the bedroom to the bathroom. However, a few minutes later, I could hear the excitement and the clapping of little hands as our son peed in the potty for the first time. Actually, technically speaking, he peed from the potty not in the potty. Details, details. This success made for a great morning and start to the week.

By the end of the day, everything had changed. You could say that the crap hit the fan. While he was comfortable making progress at the house the day before, everything came undone at daycare. All the hard work and all of the huge steps that our son had taken were gone. We don’t know what exactly happened but it clearly wasn’t done the right way… and we were definitely not happy about the fallout! Now, potty training is on hold at daycare and we are trying to retrace those previous steps and milestones at home.

Slowly we are making progress once again. While he still isn’t as comfortable as he once was, there are small steps being made and the interest is slowly creeping back in. It is all about confidence right now as he continues to show other signs of readiness but an unwillingness to “fail” on the potty. That will return in time and, until then, we will continue to encourage him to take a load off whenever he has the urge.

Honoring Our Family Histories

While my application is still in process with the Sons of the American Revolution I received an open invitation to attend the next quarterly meeting of the chapter I will soon be joining at the Inn at Reading this past Thursday. After discussing with my wife and double checking my schedule I made plans to attend heading there straight from work. While I had hoped to arrive a little early other projects during the day delayed my departure quite a bit and I walked through the doors shortly after they began serving dinner.

Despite interrupting dinner, I was welcomed warmly as soon as I walked in the room and immediately brought to a table where a chair and place setting were brought out in short order. Throughout the meal I enjoyed the conversation with all those around the table especially with the man who had been helping me with my application from the beginning. While I had never met the men and women in that room prior, I was immediately made to feel as though we had known each other for years. While not yet official, I was seen as having a common bond with all those around me.

With dinner nearly concluded, the guest speaker for the evening was introduced and what followed was one of the more fascinating and thoroughly researched presentations that I have heard in some time. Michael C. Harris adeptly condensed a portion of his book, Brandywine: A Military History of the Battle that Lost Philadelphia but Saved America,September 11, 1777, into a precise narrative of the battle which was both engaging and easily digestible for all in attendance. It even gave me an idea for a story or two in the future. The impetus for the book was quite simple as at the time he was employed by the Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Commission at the Brandywine Battlefield and he wanted to produce an accurate and comprehensive history of the engagement in the absence of current literature about the battle. Needless to say, I was one of many who purchase a book once the meeting was concluded.

Following the presentation was the business portion of the meeting which included the many new members, pending applications and supplemental applications, and reports from various committees. In the end, while formal in attire (coat and tie), the meeting itself was warm, welcoming, and relaxed. These are people that truly enjoy the company of one another, embrace the community, and honor the familial and national history that we each represent. It is an organization that I am more excited than ever to join and one that I am certainly going to enjoy sharing with my family as we discover more and more about the plethora of patriots in our family history.

Back to School?

No, this post has nothing to do with gold!

When I got the email on Sunday night informing me that the office was closed and that we would be working from home the following day, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to the remainder of my schedule. About halfway through the morning about half of the items on my schedule had either been cancelled or moved with a few more being altered during the first few hours of the day. Thankfully, there was one appointment that held and just as my son was waking from his afternoon nap, I was heading out the door on my way up the highway to Reading.

This was not work related. This was something extra on my calendar that I wanted to take a closer look at. After all, I have already been out of school for nearly 8 years and the academic itch is becoming unbearable once again. Not being one to rest on previous accomplishments or, in this case, degrees, I reached out to Alvernia University a few weeks ago to inquire about their PhD program focusing on Leadership. On Monday afternoon with resume in hand I met with the Chair of the department and had a great conversation about the program and why I had taken an interest in pursuing my doctorate.

Me, a doctor. Kind of a scary thought isn’t it?

Understand that this is just one of the things that I am looking at to satisfy that academic hunger that I feel. But it was a nice feeling returning to a campus and being in that atmosphere again. I actually really like the program as it was outlined, the school seems to be on the upswing, the cost is very reasonable, and the proximity to home is ideal. There are a lot of things going for it but I also hesitate knowing what the program entails.

In the end, I think it is all going to come down to the time element. This would be a five year commitment of at least 10 hours per week. That is time away from my family, my job, and the other things that I enjoying doing. You know me, I already have so much free time in my schedule to take on another long term project and I enjoy the things that I am doing now and would not want to have to sacrifice any of them. But this might be as good a time as any to start this. Time is a tricky part of the decision but also the main part of the decision that my wife and I will have to consider. Until then, I have plenty of other things that I can work on!

Mortgage Monday: Finding Our New Stores

All of the other places that my wife and I have lived had immediate access to a variety of both small shops and national chain stores. Now, where we have decided to make our home, there are a number of stores nearby but not as many as we have grown accustom. For many of the places that we once frequented, we have to drive a little further than before which, we are finding, is actually a welcomed change from the places where we once rested.

Just down the road we have many of the essentials just by different names than those that we are used to seeing. There are local eateries, small gas stations, and other stores that line the main thoroughfare just down the street. And, while it seems further than it really is, there are a few of the national retailers just a little further down the road including the local Wal-Mart. On a side note, this is the first Wal-Mart, or any large store for that matter, that I have ever seen which has separate buggy parking.

All of the other stores are either the same distance that we are used to driving or are a little closer than they once were. Ollie’s is a perfect example of this as it is now about 20 minutes away when there were a couple of others that we used to go to that were a 25-30 minute drive from our previous rentals. But there are replacements that are much closer to us including BB’s and some other local stores that offer the same if not better prices.

The only stores that could be seen as inconvenient are the ones that we don’t use regularly. If we need to go to Staples, Bed, Bath, & Beyond, or Babies R Us they are no longer 10 minutes down the road. However, at least a couple of them, Staples for certain, are near my office and usually those trips can be done quickly in the middle of the day. But, again, many of the things that we once purchased there can be found elsewhere and, at the moment, we are still in the process of exploring the local area including the towns immediately around us as well as the Reading area.

We have everything that we need at a convenient distance from our home. There are plenty of options out there some of which we have already fond while others are, as of yet, undiscovered. However, when compared to our previous houses and apartments, we are the most comfortable and relaxed being ever so slightly removed from the retail commotion. We have space, we have room to breathe, and we still have access to everything we need.

So Long Harvest…

While I don’t read as much as I used to I still enjoy opening the pages of a book when I have time and furthering my informal education. The greatest resource for any avid reader is a great used book store and for the last 15 years my wife and I had access to one of the best, Harvest Book Company in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, this weekend was our last trip to the warehouse as the store is closing its doors to daily shoppers and transitioning to a completely online storefront.

Over the years, my wife and I have made countless trips to both buy and sell books, DVDs, and CDs at Harvest and not being able to swing by the store on the weekend for some inexpensive entertainment is a little disappointing. I guess we are going to have to find another outlet that will be able to come close to the $2 per book that we are used to spending. While I am confident that we will be able to meet the price, I doubt that we will be able to meet the quality and selection to which we have become accustom.

Harvest was the place we would go to find items for ourselves, gifts for one another, as well as gifts for friends and family. All of this while being greeted by a staff that recognized us when we walked in the door and knew us by name. That may be a bit old fashioned for some but it is a hugely important to me and something that I am finding in fewer and fewer places as stores change, towns evolve, and online commerce becomes more prevalent.

That seems to be the trend lately as I have noticed more and more places changing around me. Buildings are being torn down, storefronts are changing, and some of the places that I remember going to years ago are long gone. Of course with books no longer containing paper, Wal-Mart discounting just about everything, and Amazon providing greater selection than could ever be found in a brick and mortar location I can’t say that I am really surprised by all the changes happening around us.

But, until this weekend, we still had Harvest where we could go and pick up those bundles of bound paper, movies, and albums at prices that couldn’t be matched online or in any of the major retailers around us. Now we will be forced to wait until the occasional sales when they will open their doors again. But no more spontaneous trips to Fort Washington and picking up those last minute inexpensive gifts. Things change but that doesn’t mean that I like it.

Half-life Of Humor

There is always something that happens during the day that throws you a little bit off. To a certain extent, everyone experiences this on a daily basis. Some a little more, some a little less. This is how we gradually learn how to deal with those instances and move forward without much interruption. However, the real challenge, at least for me, is making sure those moments don’t interfere with the client. The best solution for me was simply to make the client laugh.

Making them laugh eases the impact of whatever news that you have for them. It makes the bad or unpleasant news a little more palatable and makes the good news that much better. Sometimes it can even do wonders for minor errors in a document, email, or other collateral during the draft stages. This is also where creativity comes into play. Basically, you can either take errors at face value or you can transform them into a joke. When done well it can be a great thing that makes everyone’s day better if for only a minute or two.

With that said, there is a line that you can’t cross and you have to know what kind of humor that will work with each person. If a situation gets to a certain point a joke or simple moment of attempted levity can do much more harm than good. Also, the same negative impact can occur when there is a complete mismatch in sense of humor. Thankfully, I have, thus far, been able to match up the humorous comments with the individuals with a fair amount of accuracy. Except for George from Georgia but he is a real prick. There have also been people like George that I don’t even attempt to go that route as the chance for success is far too slim.

The half-life of a joke is also something to consider. Today I made a comment which was received well. I used it once in the morning in response to an innocent typo in a document we were reviewing and everyone in the email chain received it well. At the end of the day, there was an opportunity to neatly fit the premise into another email with the client. It worked again. However, that joke is now spent. Most likely, I will not be able to continue the world play without it seeming forced.

Sometimes you just have to know when to stop!

You Don’t Need An Amazing Race To Enjoy Traveling

I am sure it is no surprise to read but I really enjoy watching various travel shows on television. Sometimes I even find myself watching movies not for what is happening right in front of me but because of what can be seen in the background. I guess it is rooted in the desire to simply see the world and all the different places and cultures that surround us all.

Of course, there are some shows which revolve around travel that I have mixed feelings about. I find myself watching Amazing Race pretty much every season that it happens to be on (I have no idea how many they are up to at this point) and I enjoy some of the places that they send people. However, the way that people react to the places they are sent (for free) and how they treat people in their home country is deplorable. Yes, there are some places that I wouldn’t consciously choose but it also isn’t my money that is being spent.

As I watch this show, I also feel bad for some of the people running around. It doesn’t seem as if there is really enough time to enjoy where they are and all that they are seeing. Traveling is not just about what you do while you are someplace it is about just enjoying the surroundings and, when applicable, the culture. This may be why I prefer shows like Rick Steves and similar series focusing on the places not challenges.

I also enjoy reading about these different places. Both destinations that I have experienced myself and places I have never been. While travel books offer an interesting, and polished, perspective (Bill Bryson is a great example if this) that isn’t my primary source of travel reading. With so much information out there through social media, that is where I like to read about various locations both locally and far away. Blogs offer a great recap and almost review of people’s travels and Facebook can be an interesting mix of real time accounts as well as open discussions about someone’s journey.

With all those resources at our disposal, it amazes me when someone doesn’t have any desire to travel and explore different places. Even just talking to someone you know who is calling from their vacation can invoke both the memories of trips you have taken but can also kindle the need to just go out and see something new. Or, as was the case tonight when my mom called me from Florida, it made me look forward to some of the small trips already written into my calendar. So, thanks for the blog post idea mom!

Turning Off The World And Relaxing

Lately my wife and I have been struggling with turning our minds off and allowing ourselves to relax. It’s an interesting juxtaposition in that as soon as we started slowing down on the weekends and spending more time at home “relaxing” we started having issues taking it easy. And it hasn’t been for a lack of trying but sometimes what worked in the past doesn’t necessarily work now.

My issue has always been that I need to have something to keep my mind busy in order for my mind to relax. At the same time, I need to take some time off during the weekend from the daily tasks of the week so my mind is left to fend for itself. Of course, posting on this blog and the Phillies blog keep me busy every day but that still leaves a large chunk of time unaccounted for.

Occasionally, television is a good refuge but it is becoming increasingly difficult with the poo that is smeared across the dial. Some days it seems like every channel has some form of Honey Boo Boo or Obama Boo Boo on it and I have no other choice than to turn the darn thing off. Even the History channel, normally a reliable fallback, seems to have more and more content focused on ghosts and aliens.

Books provide a pleasant respite from the noise of the world but even that has become a difficult endeavor as either it is too quite which allows my mind to enter into the fray or my eyes are too heavy to focus which is usually the situation during the week. I have only been able to escape into the pages of historical volumes for fleeting moments when the larger task at hand is centered on coloring in the leaves of the family tree. Those are the brief and intense moments that are both tiring and refreshing as everything else around me disappears. It’s like taking a nap in the middle of the day… it will get you through the next couple of hours but it can’t replace a good night’s sleep.

To, hopefully, address this issue there are a few things that I will be reintroducing in the next week or so which hopefully will satiate my need to relax and recharge all of which revolve around one simple task… getting the frick out of the apartment. Traveling and returning to the synagogue for regular weekly services is what we both need to do to keep us going, keep us relaxed, and keep us grounded. We can do these things together and enjoy the common experiences. However, there is one thing that I need to do by myself (because I can’t convince my wife to go)… I need to get to the range.

Just the thought of that makes me feel better. Some people look forward to the relaxation of playing a round of golf or competing with their friends on the basketball court but that is not for me. I enjoy competing with myself, and frequently with those around me, by seeing who is the best at putting holes in paper. For many of you this may seem like a crazy concept but this is honestly one of the most effective ways for me to relax.

If you take your time, respect the firearm, and focus acutely on hitting the bulls eye the world around you disappears and all your attention is on the task at hand. Regardless of skill or ability, I have seen everyone reach that state of complete focus. This is the only sport where I have felt a complete sense of peace and calm. This is my respite in the midst of a chaotic week.

So, that is how I relax. What works for you?

How Can We Explain Autism To Children?

Ever since my wife and I had the privilege to spend some time with a family with two autistic children a few months back (you may remember that it was one of the first posts on this blog) I have been kicking around the idea of writing another children’s book. The main reason is that I couldn’t find a book about autism geared toward the picture book age. Doesn’t mean there isn’t one out there I just haven’t been able to find it.

As if this project wasn’t hard enough, I am coming from a place where I have zero experience with autism. It made the process both easier and much harder. Easier because I had to focus on the few clear examples but much harder because I am long winded anyway and even more so when I am just learning about a subject. So, after a couple of months of thinking and rethinking and wondering what the heck I was doing I finally got to the point that I was able to put a few words on the page.

Below is the first, and very rough, attempt to tackle the subject. There seems to be something there worth saving but it also needs a lot of work mainly because I can’t see the words yet. It is repetitive but that is completely intentional. I don’t know exactly how I am going to tweak it but I am almost certain that changes will be made often until I can fine tune it.

Abby Knows Best

Abby is like any other little girl.

Abby likes little dogs, she likes watching cartoons, and she has her favorite dark green bear.

Abby was always different.

Abby doesn’t go to the same school as the other kids in the neighborhood.

Abby goes to a school where all the kids are just like her.

Abby is autistic.

Abby likes to visit her own little world where she twists over and over again.

Abby doesn’t talk but she speaks with her hands and through pictures.

Abby is sometimes hard to understand but she understands everything she hears.

Abby can’t read books but she can read people.

Abby doesn’t make eye contact but knows what is going on around her.

Abby shies away from contact but she always knows when you need a hug.

Abby doesn’t like loud noises but she loves the sound of her mother’s voice.

Abby likes playing with her dad and her older sisters.

Abby is happiest with her family.

Abby is a special little girl who knows love.

So, now that you have read the first draft (actually the second draft), what are your thoughts? Is this understandable for both parent and child? Most importantly, for those of you who know much more than I do on the subject, is it accurate?

Please let me know what your thoughts are on this project as I am, like I said before, definitely not in possession of any significant knowledge in this area. I know what I see and what I feel. Sometimes that is enough and sometimes it isn’t. I just want to do my part, as small as it may be, to raise awareness and cast a different light on these children who are not handicapped they just have a different way of life that we can't fully grasp. We are all made differently and we all interact in our own way with one another and the world around us. Different doesn’t mean better or worse it just highlights the uniqueness and individuality of life. That is what I want and what I hope shines through in the story above. 

Traveling With A Purpose

Saturday was, once again, a travel day but one with a completely different purpose from previous weekends. While my employment situation has not changed, my wife was offered a full time job and now we are in search for a new place to live (once our current lease expires). So, with that in mind we headed west to explore different towns and areas for us to consider. While there are no pictures this time around as we continue to explore in greater depth I am certain that I will be posting photos of our findings.

As we got into the car and began driving we discussed the things that are most important to us in this search. After about 30 minutes, we came to the conclusion that as we head into this exploration we need to keep the following ten criteria in mind: 

1. Distance – While I have no problem with driving more than an hour to work, my wife has specified that she would like to be within an hour of her new job.
2. Traffic – We both expect traffic no matter where we live but we would like to minimize the congestion we experience on a daily basis.
3. Space – We would like to live in a place where our neighbors are not on top of us.
4. Nature – Ideally I would like to be in the mountains but that doesn’t seem to be a logistical reality. I am also happy in the woods so it would be nice if we could be surrounded by dense trees.
5. Main Street – We don’t have to be in a down town area but we would like to be close to a nice little town (think Stars Hollow).
6. Easy Access – In addition to the town aspect, we would like to be close to various stores for groceries and other such essentials.
7. Price – Cost of living is hugely important. We want to be somewhere that allows us to live comfortably rather than a place where we struggle simply to cover the bare essentials.
8. Long Term – We want to find a place that is not just right for us now but somewhere that will suit us long term. Not necessarily the same exact place but the same town/area.  
9. Schools – Again, a long term item as we look forward to the day when we are able to start a family and we want them to have a decent education
10. Family – While we want to have our own space away from family we also want to be able to easily visit whenever we want to. This, of course, is why we moved back to Pennsylvania in the first place.

This simple list eliminates a lot of places including, generally speaking, the entire Main Line where we currently live and where we both grew up. This list is the reason for our explorations westward this past weekend. There are a lot of places to see and it will take numerous trips to accumulate even a handful of options. Rotary Clubs and Masonic Lodges are everywhere so I am not concerned about finding a club or lodge where ever we end up.

This past trip had a wide variety of places, some good and some that we will never return to again. While I-176 didn’t offer much (Birdsboro, Morgantown, and Reading), Route 100 had some potential (Pughtown and Coventry). We will have to explore further on these roads in future trips and stop in each one of the potential towns rather than simply driving by as we did on Saturday. That is when we will really be able to determine if some of these places should continue to be considered.

When we arrived back at our apartment building the sun was beginning to set and it reminded me that no matter where we end up, some things will never change. We will always have each other, we will continue to explore as much as possible, and, as long as we take the time to do so, we will always be able to enjoy a sunset (hopefully without the train lines).

New (Half) Year’s Resolutions

I WANT THIS PIN!

I can’t believe that we are half way through the year already. Many changes have occurred (some good, some bad) but the fact that I can’t seem to grasp the hours of each day still frustrates me. Every day there is something that gets carried over to the next making my “to do” list more of a living compilation of tasks rather than something I can simply check off and throw away.

Some people set goals in the beginning of the year but I like to be a little different and put greater emphasis on the second half of the year. Of course, there are a few certain things that are achieved in the first six months but, in the end, it’s all about how you finish the game not about how it begins. Therefore, it is now time to outline my list of goals, in no particular order, for the second half of the year.   

1.      Improve my health – isn’t this something that is, in one shape or form, on everyone’s list? For me, it really comes down to two very simple things, stop smoking and lose about 60 pounds (I have struggled with both over the years). There is an entire subset of things I could list in order to accomplish this but, again, those are the common things that everyone jots down. What is different than most is that I have to make sure to schedule regular checkups with my doctors just to keep an open line of communication and make sure I am doing things the right way.
2.      Write a blog every day – I made it through last month with only a few delays. I still got a blog out every day in June but some of them were barely under the wire. I have a blog schedule which, so far, would take me to the end of October but that is the easy part… the “hard” part is taking the time every day to write and post. To this point, I have accomplished a staggering amount of growth in a single month and I greatly appreciate the support. Thank you all for reading, commenting, liking, sharing, etc.
3.      Find a place to live – Such a basic thing to have on a list at first glance. However, there is a greater underlying factor to this which is why I have chosen to list it. We have an apartment which has served us well and we live in an area that is very familiar but we are both looking for home. We have been looking for this for a long time now and in many locations and while we have been comfortable and thought we had found it a few times it just didn’t hold up against the clock and calendar. Hopefully, we find home this year.
4.      Find a new job – Minor detail. As was posted previously, I have been seeking a new position for some time now. While it has been difficult at times I am still confident that not just a job but a career is waiting for me because it just takes one to make it happen. As the great SNL philosopher Stuart Smalley (not to be confused with the pull your hair out quote from Senator Franken) said, "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."
5.      Full year of Rotary – As was posted last week I am now the President Elect for the Rotary Club of Bala Cynywd – Narberth and there are certain things that I would like to accomplish in the coming year. I am not going to go over the whole list again in this post but, suffice to say, there are many things that I need to work on to truly make my first full year as a Rotarian a success in my eyes.  
6.      Full year as a Mason – I have only been a member of the fraternity since April and I have already gotten a tremendous amount out of Freemasonry. There are a number of personal things that I would like to achieve in this first full year and many goals that I have set for myself in this category including, just to name a few, completion of the Master Builder Award and Lodge of Research requirements as well as becoming a member of Scottish Rite. It’s going to be a busy Masonic year.
7.      Sons of American Revolution Application – This project has been put aside since the fall and it is time to “git-r-done”. Given the time of year it is especially poignant to get this done soon. I am proud of my family heritage and for me this is a great way to show it. I will be sure to write more about this process and my family’s Revolutionary past in a future post so stay tuned.  
8.      Publishing and Readings (one is already booked for November 16^th in Collegeville, Pennsylvania) – If I remember correctly, it has been almost eight years since I last actively sought publication of my work. It is a very trying and tiring process that I am not particularly fond of but it’s an addiction that never leaves you so I guess it’s time to do some lines and chase the dragon once again. So, keep in mind that I may be creatively and poetically medicated moving forward. The long layoff from giving readings coincided with my vacation from publishing. If I am going to publish I have to read as well. I always enjoyed the performance side of writing because that is where you find out if a poem or story works. You feed off of the reaction, good or bad, which helps you to improve and pushes you to challenge yourself and your audience. Words on the page are just ink and paper, the experience defines the creation.  
9.     Continue to explore my faith – Many changes have occurred in the past couple of months with regard to our observance but our faith has remained steadfast. The means by which we express and embrace our faith has evolved over time to something that suits us both as individuals and as a family rather than subscribing to the black and white outline of a particular branch of Judaism. While it is not for everyone it is how we connect with G-d and I look forward to exploring our faith and deepening that connection through His words and his creation.
10. Travel - I am looking forward to continuing our weekly excursions both as a way to spend time with my wife and also to explore the beauty of creation that surrounds us. We have weekly day trips planned out to last the summer and into fall but, like anything else, it is flexible and I am sure it is going to change. This is also a means to feed content to this blog and share with you some of the wonderful places that surround me in my own Commonwealth. I hope that it will encourage some of you to do the same and explore and appreciate the places that are near to you but you never took the time to visit (this is especially important for those of you who may have children).

That is my list. It may change, in fact I am certain it will, but this is a starting point in recommitting to the process of improving myself throughout this year. This is the foundation of change and the map which I can fall back on to keep myself moving forward (ING is of no use with the above goals). What are the things that you would like to work on or accomplish in the second half of 2013?