Graduation Party

Today was one that made me think about my own experiences and left me in a state of slight disbelief. We spent a good part of the afternoon at a family get together to celebrate the graduation of a cousin. Oddly enough, the timing worked out almost perfectly and we were all ready to go and out the door with more than enough time to make it down the highway to the party. Given that we left the same time our son usually eats, this was a surprise to both of us.

The party itself was great. Not only was it nice to celebrate this milestone in life but it was also an opportunity to see a lot of family members that we had not had a chance to speak with since the bris. Things have changed quite a bit since then and the change of pace was welcomed. And, I must say, these people sure know how to throw a party.

One of the things that I couldn’t help but think about was the fact that this year marks 15 years since I had the same kind of celebration. I just can’t believe that it has been that long even though there are many days when it seems like an entire lifetime has passed since I celebrated my graduation along with my siblings (each of them graduated from college the same year). When reflecting on this, there are so many family members that I am friendly with now that I wish I had known better then.

Of course, there are a lot of things that I wish was different about that time in my life. The changes in attitude, perspective, motivation, and experience are staggering when considering my life now compared to my personality immediately after high school. There is a reason why I ended up on the 5 year college program. Thankfully, the one whom we were celebrating today seem to have their head on right and has the motivation to succeed.

When asked to write something to the graduate today there was no way that I was going to say something similar to that above. There really isn’t a need for that. All I could say was to enjoy each day (individually and as a whole), work hard, and take advantage of all the opportunities and experiences that come your way during this time in your life. After all, you may not know exactly where they are going to take you but so long as you keep your head on straight, they will all provide you with a life that is full, vibrant, and makes you excited every day to get out of bed in the morning.

Kind of wish that I had heeded my own advice as a teenager but, in the end, it may have not been a perfect ride so far but I wouldn’t change any of it. Okay, maybe one or two or twelve things but all those experiences made me who I am now and I am pretty darn happy with that. Some of you may not be but I am feeling really good about the way things have turned out.

So, I leave you with this clichéd question to think about (and possibly respond below): Knowing what you do know, the experiences that you have had, and the mistakes that you made, what advice would you give to yourself when you graduated high school?  

Looking Back On A Bipolar Year

2013 was an interesting year. It was a twelve month period of highs and lows that, fortunately, ended at the highest point on the calendar. We had our struggles but pushed through them all and came out stronger than before. And, most importantly, we took whatever time we had to appreciate what we have and looked forward to what could be rather than commiserating about what was the reality at the moment.

The year began in promising fashion as I added a day job with a financial services firm to immediately follow my night shift working the front desk of my apartment building. At the same time, I was slowly increasing my Rotary involvement and was beginning to line things up to join the local Masonic lodge. While all of this was going on, my wife was continuing to work in her chosen field and hating my hours at the same time.

As the first couple of months passed, I was struggling to establish myself in my new profession while trying to stay conscious after working all night and having to commute to Delaware daily. It was a struggle but it also helped me to figure out what my body and mind was capable of and has continued to help me throughout the year. It was also around this time that I began to increase my political involvement by voicing my opinions, showing my support for my party, and attending various events in the area.

By the beginning of April it was time to move on from my day job and really look for an opportunity in my chosen profession of public relations. It was a good thing that I did not give up my night job. By the end of the month, some significant changes had occurred as it was that by the end of the month I was no longer a man, I was a Mason. That seemed to be the turning point that served as the drive that was beginning to waver. It was with this new found self respect, confidence, and motivation that I entered May.

The month of May was one that saw many new endeavors and responsibilities. As you know, this was the month when this blog was created and, so far, has been a daily exercise to keep me writing and motivated. It was a month of fortuitous introductions as it was during this 31 day span when I made initial contact with the woman who would eventually become by boss. At some point I also officially accepted the honor of becoming president elect of my Rotary club come July and also the month when the miles began to add up as my wife and I started our Pennsylvania exploration (this travel was in addition to the New Jersey trip we took to support our friend as she received her doctorate).

The summer months all blended together as the blog posts began to rack up and the formation of the secondary Phillies related blog began. Additionally, I began doing some freelance writing for a Red Sox publication pulling together game recaps. Travel occupied much of our free time during this period as we traveled around much of the eastern part of the commonwealth. Many of the interviews, meetings, and events around this time tend to run together but I vividly remember a few of them as I was finally able to meet my current boss face to face, I was able to meet and talk to Governor Corbett, I was able to watch my niece graduate High School, attending my mom’s much deserved retirement party, and I slowly began taking additional steps in my Masonic journey. Of course, Rotary remained a grounding mainstay during the sweltering months. This was also a month of tremendous change as the level of our religious observance shifted not because of a faltering faith but because the faith and passion burning inside of us needed a way out that better fit us and our life.  

 

September was the month when much of the hard work from earlier in the year began to pay off. There were many great Rotary events and meetings, a professional turning point when I finally sat down for another interview (in a different location at a different company) with my boss, and I began taking on additional duties at lodge by assisting the Secretary which later turned into me accepting the honor and responsibility of stepping into that role at the end of the year. This was also a huge month for my wife as she started at a position in her field that was no longer a job but the beginning of a career. This month of holidays and reflection also served to reassure our previous decisions and confirmed that we were on the right path.

The past three months have been busy. I have been working hard at an amazing company, working with great people, doing the job I love (my only job as I was finally able to resign from the night position). While not as extensive as over the summer, my travel continued as I was able to see Arizona for the first time. During this time I have had to drastically cut back on my Rotary involvement because of the timing (I still graduated from RLI and attended the foundation grant training), my Masonic journey has been one of incredible growth and contained many moments that I will never forget from attending a meeting the Academy of Masonic Knowledge as well as the quarterly and annual communications, to my initiation as Secretary and receiving my 32^nd degree through Scottish Rite.

 

Throughout much of the year this blog has remained a constant and will continue to be a daily log of my life so long as I am able. There are many things for which I am thankful as I look back on the year. There are also many things that didn’t quite come to fruition but that will be achieved in the coming year. Things are looking up for a change as the calendar turns and we all begin the annual routine of figuring out what we can do better with the next twelve months. While not everything was accomplished in 2013, I wouldn’t change a thing. While it had its rough spots, it was an amazing year overall and one that will have a positive impact on the rest of my life.

Graduation Weekend

I wonder if I'm at the right location? I wish there was some way of telling.

While I did miss my usual Rotary club meeting in Bala Cynwyd on Wednesday I was still able to get my Rotary fix on Saturday. Somehow I was able to make myself crawl out of bed at six in the morning, pick up a couple of my fellow Rotarians, and make my way to King of Prussia for the third, and final, installment of my Rotary Leadership Institute (RLI) training. By the end of the day I was a graduate.

Regional events such as this are both a great learning experience but also a tremendous social experience as well with people in attendance from a numerous states all there for the same purpose, to become better Rotarians. As always, it was a diverse group of people ranging in age (20’s to 80’s), occupation/vocation, and Rotary experience (I met people who joined within the past year as well as people who have been proud Rotarians for over 50 years). These aspects were much like my previous takeaways from other sessions and events that I have attended but there was something a little different for me on Saturday.

It all started during the registration process.  As I waited for my information to be retrieved and I was writing the check, I ran into a young man who was a guest speaker at our club earlier in the year. We had gotten together for coffee afterward to talk about Rotary and, at the time, I offered my perspective on the Rotary experience and assisted him in reaching out to other clubs. We hadn’t been able to reconnect since but now I was seeing him, a newly minted Rotarian, taking the next step in becoming a leader in his club. Albeit small, I am glad I was able to play a role in his decision to join.

Heading into the first session of the day, I took a look around the room and noticed many familiar faces. There were a handful of us that have attended level two together and now we found ourselves reuniting for round three. While we were all from different clubs, districts, and states we all picked up from where we left off as if we had known one another for years. Needless to say, my comfort level was significantly higher this time around.

With class underway time seemed to fly by with a group of excellent instructors that knew just the right direction to take us and questions to ask. It was at this point that I came to realize just how far I had come as I was able to answer questions and make contributions with certainty rather than with a tentative tone (of course, it didn’t hurt that one of the sessions was entirely about PR and communications). This third and final part of the training really was a culmination not just in the educational sense but in shifting my mentality. For the first time I felt as if I was ready to be a leader within Rotary.

I am positive that I would have come to this actualization without RLI but I have no idea how long it would have taken and whether or not I could be as an effective leader without it. In general, with the past couple of years being so tumultuous, I am glad that I have had the consistency and guidance that Rotary and my fellow Rotarians have offered to me. While our goal as Rotarians is to serve others and our communities we can’t deny the service that Rotary has offered to each and every one of us in making us better people.

Now the question remains, do I move forward and attend graduate classes or should I give back and become an instructor or both? I guess we will just have to wait and see.

  
Video courtesy of Rick Trivane, Past President of The Rotary Club of Bala Cynwyd - Narberth and, yes, I did promote the club's raffle (mentioned in a previous post) while walking up to the front to get my certificate and pin. 

So Your Legs Do Work

WTF at RU

Given the time of year we find ourselves currently in and the patriotic feeling that permeates the country at this time I thought it was about time to record my thoughts on something that happened earlier this year. However, before proceeding I would like to warn you that this blog post contains both bitterness and hostility (but only implied foul language). Reader discretion is advised.

Back in mid May my wife and I attending the graduate graduation ceremony at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey. We were happy to see the culmination of our friend’s hard work as she received her doctorate and I'm glad we made the exception to travel into New Jersey for the occasion. The event was similar to any graduation commencement with squirming kids, friends and family jockeying for pole picture positions, and speakers that made you develop OCD by checking your watch every five minutes.

Everything followed the normal routine except there was one occurrence that pissed me off at the time and has bothered me ever since. In fact, it bothers me every time I encounter one of these individuals. I guess you can just add another group of people to my list of those who raise my blood pressure.

Sitting in the row in front of us was what seemed to be a very nice family. My wife and I had gotten to our seats early so we saw them walk down the aisle (unassisted), move the chairs around, take their seats, and occasionally stand up to wave at one of the graduates. The ceremony began and the first speaker asked the audience to please rise for the National Anthem. So what happened? Everyone in my view stood up except for the woman sitting in front of me.

Keep in mind that the audience was a mix of all races, religions, nationalities, ages, and physical abilities. All of which stood up, including the ones with walkers and canes, except this one person. WTF?

Now there are many things in this country as well as certain politicians and parties that piss me off to no end but there is no reason to disrespect the National Anthem and this country. I can understand people forgetting to take their hats off and I know that some people simply can’t stand but I saw this woman walk in without assistance, without a limp, without a grimace. She had no excuse or reason to be sitting.

At the time I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there was some physical limitation that suddenly flared up (rare but it happens). So I sat there for the rest of the ceremony and focused my attention on the people who made the day truly important. However, my understanding was misplaced when as hats were being tossed this woman began climbing the chairs, walking across the aisle, and contorting her body in order to get a better angle for a picture.

As any respect I had for this woman evaporated I was left shaking my head and asking the question “WTF, lady? WTF?”

Change Is Good Even With Gray Hairs!

Thursday night was a mark in time that I will never forget. I was able to watch my oldest niece graduate from High School (with Honors). I can’t really explain why but I watched from the stands with a great sense of pride as she walked across the stage (preceded and followed by intense periods of boredom). I am very happy for her and for my sister… it was a long journey for both of them and they damn well deserve this time of celebration.

This was also a night that really pointed out the fact that I am getting old. I have no idea where the time has gone and I can still clearly remember sitting with my little five year old niece on the couch one summer afternoon when I was babysitting and watching all three original Star Wars movies in a row on VHS (I think that was the last time I have seen any of them). It’s amazing how we take those simple moments for granted and how things tend to get away from us as we get older.

I’m glad that I was able to experience this before having children of my own. The last thing I want is to have my life resemble the chorus from a Harry Chapin song. By taking the time now, by understanding and embracing the importance of family, and by supporting one another during these times of celebration I hope that I am setting myself up to, eventually, being a good father.

For the time being all I can do is focus on what I have… an amazing wife, a wonderful family, and great nieces and nephews. This will continue to be my focus until things change and my wife and I are in a better position to start our own family. But events like the one on Thursday make me look forward to the future and all the experiences that are yet to come (even the ones that force my hair line to retreat).