The Truth Behind The Sarcasm

We are all familiar with sarcasm and most of us understand how to use it. However, there are some people that when faced with certain circumstances that demonstrate true mastery of this form of speech. Recently, I came across an article and video of one such master.

In light of recent gun control legislation being considered in a local resident of Ashland, Oregon who identified himself as ‘Johnny Bolton’ attended stated meeting of the Ashland City Council’s on February 4^th. In the beginning, it wasn’t entirely clear what the resident’s objectives were in his statement to the council but soon it was quite obvious what his true intentions were in introducing a new public safety concern group: Citizens for a Really Safe Ashland.

The presentation was made in response to proposed legislation concocted by the local organization Citizens for a Safe Ashland which would further infringe upon the rights of gun owners. It went on to answer the simple question which has been previously addressed in this blog: Why stop there when there are so many other things we can regulate to ensure public safety? He starts his speech in the following manner:

“Representing well over 30 resident citizens, and given the current vogue for citizen introduced reasonable and common sense ordinances, ‘Citizens for a REALLY safe Ashland’ want to capitalize on the desire to act in a “timely manner” (or even in a knee-jerk expedited manner) to introduce a comprehensive public safety ordinance that – whilst perhaps not actually addressing any genuine or legitimate issues – does serve to promote a divisive partisan agenda!”

Thankfully, he also points out our caveman-like place in the civilized world just like a true American like Piers Morgan would by stating, “European countries are light years ahead, indeed a recent study by the esteemed British Medical Journal proposes banning all kitchen knives over 4” long – because the people would be safer.”

At this point, the full color of the citizen’s sarcasm began to shine through to the point that your name would have to be Sheldon Cooper to not understand the message that was being eloquently presented. Specifically, the Citizens for a Really Safe Ashland, proposes the following ordinance:

1.  Regulate the public visibility of, and

2.  Seek to punish those that allow minors access to, the following potentially dangerous, often unfamiliar, and in some instances outright scary items:

(i) Knives
(ii) Chainsaws
(iii) Power-tools
(iv) Hammers
(v) Ladders
(vi) Bath tubs

(vii) Swimming Pools
(viii) Car keys
(ix) Alcohol
(x) Prescription and non prescription medication

See, common sense safety. It should be known that Ashland is a hotbed from criminal activity where children frequently play with keys, swim in swimming pools, and take baths regularly (many times forced into this vicious cycle of addiction to cleanliness by their own parents). It is for this reason that this proposed ordinance is so important. Also it should also be seriously considered by the Ashland City Council because…  

“That this proposed ordinance will be ineffective, and a solution to a problem that does not exist is not of great importance.  What matters is making a statement about “community values”….We can’t ever be too safe, can we.  It’s for the sake of the children, and we – and they – have to be protected from ourselves.”

Unfortunately, even with such sarcasm, one of the final points made during Johnny Bolton’s presentation held some truly scary truth. While seen as a humorous over exaggeration by some, when you really look at what is going on in this country there is a little too much truth to the following statement: “Evidently concepts such as absolute inalienable rights, liberty, and personal responsibility are old-fashioned, outmoded, and frankly quite scary!”

Take some time to think about what is really being presented in the video below and consider all that has been proposed in this country (both on the local and federal level). This is not just with regard to the overabundance of gun legislation that has wasted countless taxpayer dollars but the elimination of trans fats, the socialization of medicine, and numerous other initiative that have been forced upon us in the spirit of “we know what is best for you.”