The
holidays are always a great opportunity to get together and simply enjoy the
company of friends and family. While we may not be completely conscious of it
at the time, it is a means to strengthen the bonds that we have with one
another and take stock of the changes that have happened in our lives since the
last time that we all gathered together. The most important thing about these
times is to be in the moment and to spend time with those you love but there
are opportunities that come about naturally from time to time that we, as
family historians, must remain cognizant of and remember not just for ourselves
but for the family as a whole the for the future when things have a tendency to
be forgotten.
It
is inconsequential how one gets to a subject but there are moments when we must
be opportunistic and learn a little more about those around us. Furthermore, if
we are able to ask questions we must do so to fill in some of the details that
may have been glossed over. At the same time, when possible, we must be ready
to recall what we know in order to offer that information in the hopes of
jogging someone else’s memory or adding dimension or perspective to the story
being told.
For
some, including myself, this is sometimes the hardest part of trying to find
out everything I can about the family. There is a fine line between
conversation and investigation which we must respect during the holidays
because, again, this is a time for family not about family. After all, we are
all guilty from time to time for focusing more on the past than the present.
Sometimes it is during occasions such as this while other times it is about not
taking the opportunity, setting aside the time, and talking to family members
about their own history and about what they know about others in the family.
Today
I learned a few more details and was given a few more documents. Thankfully, I
learned a lot with little effort. It was more about being in the right place
and keeping my ears open to the conversations taking place. I knew some
additional details and I asked a few questions but it was part of the natural
flow of the dialog. Maybe I have finally found some kind of balance to this
holiday conundrum. Of course, it helps that everyone knows about my passion for
the family history and the respect that I have for our history. That can
sometimes be the difference between being given, entrusted, with personal information
and histories and not ever being told what happened.
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