The Pitch Black Creative Catalyst

It always seems that I am up late at night writing a blog. It’s not that I don’t try to get it done earlier it’s just a very simple fact that the ideas and the ability to construct these short essays don’t come to me until there is a slight heaviness in my eyes. I even have the word document open on my computer throughout the day, ready to go, but I rarely find myself actually typing anything. The same can be said for the blank sheets of paper that wind up being neglected as they are shuffled from one side of my desk to the other during the course of my regular working day.

Sometimes, like now, the night brings a wave of prose that forces me to either write well beyond the 400 word minimum I set at the beginning or I am jumping from one document to another recording two streams of thought nearly simultaneously to be posted on consecutive days. What you are reading now if the second of the two. It is an annoying all or nothing situation that I find myself in every day. It’s almost like my creativity is bipolar… it either shies away or I can’t get it to shut the heck up.

Of course it could be the fact that there is only so much creativity and focus that I can produce at one time and with my job requiring much of that focus and energy it proves difficult to syphon enough of the focus away to even jot down a few sentences or word combinations. And that is just for this blog… my other writing is solely a weekend endeavor and only when that too is not filled with the overflow from the week. Those projects require more than the focus of night, they require the vibrancy of the day.

For everything else… personal correspondences (yes, I still write actually letter on occasion), newsletters, emails, and blogs… the evening is still the time to let he ink flow and the fingers fly like a wounded hummingbird. In the end, there is something about the night that motivates me to write. The catalyst that is midnight, the urgency of the hour, and the desire to bring the day to a close are what I need to keep this blog going. It isn’t every night but it is more often than not an essential part of this less than creative process. And when I stop to think about it, it has pretty much been the same way throughout my writing life. Maybe not always this late but certainly after the sun has gone to sleep and the liveliness of the day is all but a memory.

A Night Filled With Fog

It never fails, there is always something that I am overlooking at any given moment when it comes to all the projects that are up in the air. There are two things that make this situation worse…. neglecting the same project over and over again and having my schedule thrown off by the weather or some other weekly interruption. Unfortunately, I find myself in a situation when both of these factors have converged on a single project and now my rear end is getting particularly toasty as it sizzles in the fire.

I don’t know what it is about this project. While it involved writing, which is usually not a problem, it is something that I have never written before and for a client that can be very particular in the content that we create for them. There have been little pieces completed here and there but I can seem to get any momentum going to see it through to the end. It’s almost like instant writers block as soon as I open the document and poise my fingers above the keyboard.

Even now, as I write this blog with a certain amount of fluidity, whenever the thought of that project comes to mind my fingers slow and hesitate before striking the letters. I don’t know if I have ever experienced this sensation to this extent in the past but I hope that it is a onetime deal. However, I have a feeling that this is probably not going to be the case as similar projects are will be materializing on the calendar shortly and the vicious cycle will most likely repeat itself.

If this was a matter segregated from the rest of my work I would be annoyed but not really concerned. I guess you could say that is an unrealistically optimistic statement. This problem does impact the rest of my work both for this client and for the other accounts that I work on. Heck, it even impacts this blog and brings a certain amount of fogginess to the creative process in all aspects of my writing.

In my work process, I need to be able to see the end point, I need to know where the writing needs to go. When visibility is limited, it is incredibly difficult to reach the finish line in an efficient manner. Personally, especially when writing these posts, I need to be able to see each step. Even those short distances are obscured by the haze. Overall, it makes writing a slow and sometimes tedious process. Even now, I am incredibly tired and so I am going to bring this post to a quick and abrupt end.

Writing With The TV On

Have you ever tried to write while watching a movie? When struggling to find an idea it can be difficult especially when it is the beginning of “Throw Momma From The Train” when Billy Crystal’s character is struggling more than you are at that moment. It is a little painful to watch not for the actions of the character but because you can see yourself and sometimes remember yourself going through those same motions. “You’ve been on 'The night was’ since July.” It is not a pleasant thought but that is the reality of writing.

I guess there could be worse movies to have on the television. “Funny Farm” comes to mind as a prime example. The internal hell that Chevy Chase goes through in that movie is darn funny (this is when Chevy Chase was funny for those young people that don’t know any better). But it also touches on the jealousy of inspiration that comes so easily to others. We have all been in that situation when we hear a line or read a story and have that ‘I wish I had thought of that’ notion float through your mind.

Those can be disturbing moments if you let them percolate in your mind. What we have to realize is that we all have those moments of clear creativity when everything just fits together but, most of the time, we are either not aware of the spark or don’t write it down quickly enough to keep the ember burning until you can get it down on paper. However, when you catch those moments it can be something of a mesmerizing experience when the world falls away and all you can see is the images and actions that your words are etching into your eyes and embedding in your ears.  

Those instances may be rare for many of us but it is still enough to keep us going. Sometimes it is an entire story that just blindly falls onto the pages while other times it can be a word combination that you have never heard before. Sometimes it is a matter of finding a different perspective while other times that tiny ember can be found in the smallest crevice or the minutest detail found in a crystal of rock salt borrowing through the whining ice on its journey to the gray tar patch in the middle of the pockmarked road. Inspiration is in details and perspectives. Once those are established the action can be introduced organically. Of course, scotch helps too.