Knowing When Not To 'Help'...

When given the opportunity I try to help people whenever I can. Sometimes it works out, other times I am absolutely no help at all. I really don’t know if this is a good trait or a bad one but it is part of who I am and I do my best to make things better for people in tough situation. However, I will say that sometimes my humor can get in the way at times and so I try to pay particular attention to that and curb those comments to the best of my ability.

In my various roles and duties across the numerous jobs I have and positions I hold, this desire to help has proven to be quite an asset. With that said, I have had to focus hard on my limitations and know when it really isn’t a good idea to interject or assist. I have written about one aspect of those boundaries before when I discussed some of the requests that I have received while at the office. That is just one place, one job, and one small part of this whole equation.

Countless times, especially lately, there have been times where something needed to be done, some assistance needed to be offered, but I was definitely not the one who could help. In some of those cases I just wasn’t equipped to satisfy the needs of the situation while other times the situation was just out of control and there wasn’t really anyone who could change what was going to happen. It is during these humbling times of helplessness that all I could do is hope and pray that everything was going to work out. At most, I could be an attentive ear but no words or actions would offer any solace, it would just be BS.

Those are the times when being a person willing to help is the most difficult. Equally agonizing is when there are challenges that someone you care about is facing and you know that any proactive steps that you may take would only make things worse so all you can do is sit back, grind your teeth and wring your hands. Selfishly, I would much rather be the person facing the challenges so that I could go full bore into the situation and forcibly clear any obstacles, nuisances, and threats that try to get in my way. Patience was never something that I was good at but I guess it is something that I have to embrace at times. So, for now, I am going to complete this rant and shut the heck up.

Rabbi Akiva, Bar Kokhba, And The Zohar = Party Time!

I remember when my wife and I were planning our wedding that one of the first things that the Rabbi checked was if the date we wanted fell within the counting of the Omer. It just added another consideration to the date selection. Fortunately, our preferred date was one that fell just beyond the Omer so we were able to proceed without changing a date that just happened to work out for us.

Today we celebrate the day within that period, Lag Ba’Omer, when there is a short respite during this period of mourning and reflection. For those of you unfamiliar with this period on the Jewish calendar, here is a little information (about the holiday, significance, and observance) from the Judaism section of About.com:

Lag Ba'Omer is a minor Jewish holiday that falls between the holidays of Passover and Shavuot. "Lag" is a combination of two Hebrew letters: lamed and gimmel. According to Hebrew numerology, lamed stands for the number thirty and gimmel stands for the number three. These two numbers are significant for Lag Ba'Omer because it is celebrated on the 33rd day of Counting the Omer.

The Significance of Lag Ba'Omer

Lag Ba'Omer is a joyous holiday but no one is sure what it celebrates. The Talmud mentions a plague that is thought to have killed 24,000 of Rabbi Akiva's students during one Omer, and some have suggested that Lag Ba'Omer is celebratory because the plague abated on the 33rd day. Others have suggested that Lag Ba'Omer is connected to Rabbi Akiva's support of Simon Bar Kokhba, a Jewish rebel leader against Rome. The Romans responded to Bar Kokhba's revolt with incredible brutality, but perhaps Lag Ba'Omer was a day when either the Jews won a victory or there was a brief respite from the violence. (Ultimately, Bar Kokbha's rebellion failed.) The military connection is supported by the tradition of taking children to open fields to play with toy bows and arrows on Lag Ba'Omer.

Observing Lag Ba'Omer

Lag Ba'Omer is a time during the Counting of the Omer when people can celebrate. While the Omer is a time of mourning, on Lag Ba'Omer marriages can be performed, children are taken to parks to play, and people often gather for large bonfires. The fires represent the light of the Torah.

Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, the author of the Zohar (an important Kabbalistic text), also died on the 33rd day of the Omer. In Israel many people commemorate his death by visiting his grave in the northern town of Meron. The anniversary of his death is a day for celebration because it is believed he revealed the secrets of the Torah to his students before he died.

While this is not one of those clearly defined holidays found on the calendar, it is still an interesting one to consider. The counting of the Omer is a period unto itself during the year and a time when many people step back and take stock of what they have in this life. The days of celebration immediately before and after this block of time are ones that invoke change in the family and in the community. Lag Ba’Omer is a day of celebratory solace when life continues to progress, unions are celebrated, and, in many communities, children take an important step in their life with their first haircut. While it may seem small to some, it is an important day on the calendar and one that should be made to stand out among the other days of the Omer.

So, while the bonfires burn, and the piles of ash continue to grow, remember the joy and the hope that this day represents. Also remember the period in which this holiday falls and embrace the changes that have, are, and will occur on this day. It is an island of joy among a sea of sorrow with faith guiding us to the shore of this remote paradise. Tomorrow the counting of the Omer continues but with the peace and hope of the day still fresh in our minds and hearts. And soon, like all times of mourning, this period will pass, life will continue, and celebrations, large and small, will fill our days.

Preparing For The Summer Travel

Some days, especially on a weekend after a long week, you just have to get out of the apartment for the day and drive a little bit. While the longer day trips will start back up again next month, now is the time to gradually get back into the routine of putting some miles on the car during our weekly days off. This is why we decided to head down route 1 late this morning to find a new place for lunch. Last weekend we had passed Hank’s Place in Chadds Ford on our way back from Lancaster. While we didn’t take much notice of the “Luke’s” looking place during our return, it immediately resurfaced in our mind when we search for new places to dine in the area.

After about a rumble strip cruse down City Avenue, and through the succession of towns, we arrived in Chadds Ford just after noon. With one spot open in the parking lot and one table just opening up as we walked in the door, it seems as though we got there just at the right time. What would have made the short trip a little better would have been if this really was the first time each of us were to eat there… as it turns out and resurfaced in my wife’s mind as we pulled into the parking lot was the fact that she had eaten there previously after a day out with one of her friends at Longwood Gardens. Fortunately, she approved of the repetition and we didn’t have to search for a new dining destination for the afternoon.

Given the clear warm weather just beyond the windows, it was no surprise that the dining room was packed. With the gardens down the street in bloom, antique stores with their doors open, and the Brandywine River lined with lush with vibrant green trees everyone was out and about for the day exploring the beauty and attractions of the area. While that was not on our schedule for the day, it will be at some point over the summer as we continue our explorations of the Commonwealth. Actually, as you may have noted in that blog/list, we will actually explore that area just over the boarder as well.

I recommend grabbing breakfast or lunch there sometime… great to be near mushroom country. As for the return trip, the drive was relatively uneventful around the area. Of course, the traffic was a little heavier than usual but that is to be expected as people are still trying to shake off the last vestiges of cabin fever. So, the driving has begun. It was a small/short trip but one that awakens our next weekend routine so that we are ready for the longer travel this summer. Especially for me as I have a couple of much longer trips mapped out for next month. But that is a subject for another blog (with pictures).

Fighting Against A Meandering Mind

Distractions have been an issue for me lately. All different kinds of things have pulled my attention away from the things that I should be focusing on including the daily duties that I have at work. Most of the time these things are out of my control and sometimes it leads to being productive in an entirely different area. Other times there are distractions that are once again out of my control and are detrimental to any productivity whatsoever. However, there are also moments when my mind simply wanders and before I realize that there are things that I am falling behind on the hands of the clock have made significant progress. Those are the moments when I can’t blame anyone but myself.

The past couple of weeks have been tough in this regard as I am constantly getting phone calls, text messages, Skype messages, and emails that are taking my attention always from the tasks at hand. Between the messages I receive from friends and family and the random short projects I’m brought into at the office, I have struggled to keep the usual tasks in motion and I have fallen behind on a few of the lodge items on my monthly check list. Some of the tasks or responses only take a minute or two but when your attention span is already suffering it can be a very long journey back to productivity when the distractions keep flipping like a shiny new quarter.

Even at night when I sit down at the computer to pull a couple of blogs together I find myself occasionally getting caught up in a website (not always social media) reading more about a subject than I need to for a casual reference in a post. The worst instances with regard to blog posts are the evenings when I have no idea what I am going to write about, which is becoming more and more prevalent these days, and I go from topic to topic, website to website, reading pages and pages of information just trying to pull together some kind of cohesive series of thoughts. While the writing may only take 20 or 30 minutes, it could take hours before I trip over an idea, opinion, or subject.

So, if I seem a little off or if my thoughts happen to come across as slightly disjointed understand that content is scarce at the moment and there are other things going on that I need to get caught up on. Hopefully this will only be a temporary state but you never know. Besides, I have a little more work ahead of me this week (as if last week wasn’t enough) as we close in on the blog anniversary. That’s right, it is approaching fast. Hopefully I can maintain my focus and find content. Might have to spend some time figuring out what will happen beyond that day too. I guess you will have to keep reading to find out.

I Couldn’t Get The Timing Right Today

I begin this post as I have many others. It was way too early to be getting out of bed this morning but somehow, after about 4 hours of sleep, I managed to crawl out of bed and into the shower. While it may be a great time of day for some, five in the morning is not a good time of day for me. But, some work days begin earlier than others and today was definitely one of those days.

I was moving particularly slow this morning and quickly started running behind. About 20 minutes behind schedule, I got in passenger seat of my wife’s car, and we were off to the airport. We pulled up to the US Airways terminal with what I thought was plenty of time… that thought persisted until I got in line to go through security. 40 minutes and a security checkpoint change later and I was finally on my way to the gate. Normally I arrive at the gate in plenty of time to sit and relax before flying, this morning I didn’t even have time to hesitate, and I walk right onto the plane. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised with a front row, first class seat.

Surprisingly, given the fog, we took off on time. The next two hours comprised a large number of bumps, so I was told, and a lot of sleeping. Some people can work the entire flight, from gate to gate, like my boss sitting next to me. That is something that I have never been able to do. The best way for me to be productive is to get as much sleep as possible so that I can get work done later. By the time the plane touched down in Atlanta, we were running back on schedule. By the time the car service dropped us off at the client’s office, we were running ahead of schedule.

This is when the fun began. While the meeting was long, over six hours of constant discussion, it was a great back and forth both of information and opinion. This was a discovery and messaging meeting that is a fascinating thing to watch let alone participate in. By the time the information fire hose is turned off at the end of the day, you have all the information you need and a lot of ideas that you don’t. It is also a great opportunity to get to know the people at the company and find out a little bit about how they go about their work as well as a little about themselves which comes out is little drips throughout the day.

Before we had a real chance to breath, the day had passed and the car service was calling us wondering when we were coming down since they had been waiting outside for the past 45 minutes. Oops, time to wrap things up and head out the door. And just like that we were on our way back to the airport to catch a 7:50 plane back to Philadelphia. Even running behind and the notorious Atlanta traffic, we got to the airport with enough time to sit down for a quick bite to eat. With egg and cheese sandwiches and Pepsi (I know, I was shocked) in our stomachs from Der Waffle Haus, we walked over to the changed gate and got settled in our aisle seat in the middle of the plane.

Two and a half hours and some restless sleep later we were back in Philadelphia and waiting for transportation home. So, nearly 17 hours after my day started, I walked back into the apartment. Even though I was obviously dragging, I was wide awake and ready to get things going after an excellent day and meeting. However, my first business day trip (via an airport) is a little nuts when you think about it. Oh well, sometimes you have to do what you have to do and I prefer sleeping in my own bed and coming home to my wife. So, while hectic, it was a good day all around.

Not In The Job Description

 

Most of the people we work with on a daily basis understand the parameters of our job. However, there are a few people that we come across that really have no idea what it is that we do. Every once in a while I check my email only to find request after request for things do be done that do not fall under my job description nor does it fall under the services that my company provides. This is an all too common (usually from the same people over and over again)... we are seen as he corporate catch all when there is a shift in the in house marketing staff. Usually, when there is a vacuum in the marketing and sometimes sales side, we are for some reason the ones that they turn to.

As is probably clear by some of the things that I have written over the past year, I am not one to shy away from work. Frankly, I enjoy working and I am always looking for something that is a bit of a challenge, something that I may have never worked on before. But those are the things that I do in my free time. When a client is paying us for the work that we do, it is not in anyone’s best interest for us to attempt to complete a project, taking away time from the things that we are paid to do, without assurance that we would do the best job at it.

We know what we are good at and we know what we have much less experience with. This seems to keep getting lost in the communication no matter how clearly or bluntly it is stated. It just goes to show that sometimes communication is only as good as how much someone listens. We are all guilty of not listening and letting assumptions dictate our perceptions. Let me put it a different way…

We have all made calls to customer service for one reason or another. But, let’s be honest, usually it is because we have a complaint. The majority of the time we begin losing a little reality and assign authority or jobs to the person on the other line. We don’t really stop to think if they will be able to rectify the problem. We decide what their job description is without asking what they are able to do.

However, there are times when we call, listen, and have a conversation knowing full well that they may not be able to answer all our question or find a solution on the spot. And you know what… when you don’t make assumptions you might be surprised at the results. Comcast did that last week when I called to clarify my bill. Basically, I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to go up any more and, if need be, see if I could lock in the current rate. By the end of the call, after a nice conversation with Deb, I hung up with my bill reduced by about 40%.

So, before you call or email, be ready to listen to the response. Don’t assume the job description of the person on the other end. And even when someone us unable to get the project done, think about where there efforts will be focused and the results that will come from concentrating their efforts on what they are paid to do. When you work toward your strengths, maintaining within the prevue of your job description, your efforts will match the outcome.

Invasion Of The Large Sticky Notes

We all have memories, at least those of us over a certain age, of the blackboard being filled with what at the time seemed like an endless list of information. While it was nothing more than routine at the time, in hindsight it was actually a great tool to make sure that everyone was on the same page and, for me, it kept my wandering mind on task. While I see this as my mind being occupied by an overflow of thoughts, today it would most likely be seen as ADD which, to use a technical term, is crap.

Moving on in my academic life, the chalk quickly stepped aside and the grease board became a more prevalent wall decoration. I recently found out that I am older than I thought as the term ‘grease board’ is no longer used. Even after my undergraduate years, the white board was something that I tried to utilize for the same benefit that I got out of the chalk board in my youth. There is something about writing down a task, monitoring progress, and finally crossing it off that is oddly satisfying in a way that I have not been able to achieve through digital means.

Now, I find myself taking a step back as the back wall of my office is constantly covered with large sticky notes. For those of you unfamiliar or just can’t picture the process, these bloated sheets of paper are a cross between a Post-It note and wall paper. There seems to be a temporary state of permanence with these scribbling broad sides that force me to make progress on the variety of projects that I have going on at any given time. Working on multiple accounts and numerous projects, this is an essential process in place that keeps my mind from focusing on one task too long or straying off and concentrating on a non-priority.

So now, between the random pieces of paper pinned above my desk and the large swaths of note paper stuck to the wall behind me, my office is resembling a chaotic collection of thoughts and tasks that may be foreign to some but I have found is quite common for those in my line of work. It’s basically like a sane version of “A Beautiful Mind” with a less socially awkward cast of characters. Of course, we all have our days when reality takes a back seat to whatever scenario we find ourselves in or requests that we receive from clients. I guess you could say that the most insane part of this job and the way my office looks is the volume of work that it represents.