A Lazy Day Is Not Relaxing

 

The plan this Saturday was to head off to the lodge in the morning and take care of a few items that need to be addressed in the next couple of days. Maybe even get ahead of a few things. In addition to these weekly tasks, a clean out way loosely organized to begin in the morning and get some of the random things out of the building that have been doing nothing but taking up space for years if not decades. After that was going to be a quick lunch with my wife and maybe a small trip to Staples.

It was a reasonable plan but even the simple days sometimes get altered. Sometimes in drastic ways. What ended up happening today was sleeping late, eating lunch, and a long period of just doing nothing. I can’t remember the last time I just bummed around the apartment and relaxed. With everything that has been going on lately it was nice to not have to be anywhere. While I felt a little bad for not getting over to the lodge, sometimes I have to just step back for a day and try to recharge. Today was that overdue day.

While it was nice to take it easy and relax on the couch with my wife, by the end of the day I was left wondering what I had gotten done. In the past, I would have just sat back and enjoyed the fact that I didn’t have to do anything. However, that is not who I am anymore. Not getting anything done by the end of the day just made me feel worse, increased my stress, and made me feel tired (more than I was before). I never thought I would be one of those people but the fact of the matter is, I need to keep working. My relaxation comes from the completion of work knowing that I got enough done during the day.

I know, I can sense my wife cringing as she reads this.

So tomorrow something is going to have to get done. If I have any chance of trying to relax this weekend, I can’t let projects and tasks get put off for another day. With that said, the agenda for tomorrow is still up in the air as I have a number of things that have to get done on the computer and at the apartment but we also have to get out and continue looking at apartments.

I have no idea what is going to happen so I guess I will just log off and write about it tomorrow. I know, I am such a come as it may person but sometimes you don’t have complete control over the next day no matter what you may think. So, goodbye today, hello tomorrow.   

Back To Normal

In the past I have dreaded the beginning of a new work week for various reasons but they all came down to a simple explanation that it was not an enjoyable place to go. Having a drastically different schedule over the past two weeks I have been a bit thrown off and looking forward to this evening and the coming week. Everything should be back to normal with my usual five day work week and the long hours that I thrive on.

Having so much time off may be welcomed by some but, for me, it just throws my whole schedule off both in the office and at home. It is obvious that when you’re not in the office that not as much work is getting done, projects become prolonged, and while deadlines are still met it seems to be a bit more of a struggle to meet them. On top of that, when you enjoy being around the people with whom you work, that can be something that is greatly missed during these temperamental times on the calendar.  

However, at least for me, that is not the only thing that suffers. When I am used to working all day it is easier for me to continue working throughout the night on various projects and even taking care of and responding to emails. I guess I have a diesel work habit. When I have the day off or don’t have that transition from home to work, it is difficult to get the mind focused and the words flowing. Even on weekend, I struggle to find the motivation to get the things done that I want to get done (soon they will have gone so long that they will become a need rather than a want).

This may be the driving force behind my need to adopt various duties and responsibilities that need to be worked on every day. While I can put them off for a little while I still have to find some time every day to at least check and make sure things are going smoothly. Maybe my continued issues with this extra time (which quickly becomes lazy fat time) demonstrates a need for just a little more, one more project, one more club, one more group, one more weekly activity. I don’t know. There seems to be a need for something else. Preferably something that both my wife and I can do together.

I guess it is time to look back at my resolutions and really buckle down on a few things on my list. Maybe it’s not a matter of needing something else but a need to focus on what I have already planned on doing or starting. So, time to step away from the blog for the night and figure out where I need to commit more time in order to make some progress on my list of resolutions. At least I have a normal schedule again to balance things out.

Plagued By The Blank Screen

As you may have noticed, lately I have been posting late at night in an attempt to keep the daily blog streak going. This is not ideal but they are getting up and that is the real task at hand for me because the simple purpose of this blog has always been to just keep writing.

The common sense rational is that if you want to be a writer, keep writing. Sometimes you will produce something to be incredibly proud of while other times you will fall flat. No one gets it right one hundred percent of the time and I am choosing to do so publicly.

Another hazard that every writer faces at some point in time is “writer’s block”. This has been my burden as of late and has caused the delays in putting up posts at a more ideal time early in the morning. But I am determined to break through the wall and return to the level of productivity that I am more accustomed.

Many of you know that this situation is one that has many causes including illness, lack of sleep, mental preoccupation, laziness, and limited time. While any of these factors can be overcome they all cause a slowing or, sometimes, freezing of the writing process. Unfortunately, I have been juggling all of the above in my attempt to keep this blog going.

How I have been able to do this I honestly don’t have an answer that would explain it completely. All I have done is write. I keep writing and just try to form quasi lucent thoughts that hopefully at least a few people will be able to follow. I have had to make it a selfish process where I am writing to think things through for myself. This is why there may be one topic being addressed in the beginning of the post and something completely different being discussed by the end.  

Having a topic at hand is another way to combat the drudges of disassembling a creative roadblock. When I started this blog I want to take things day by day and have spontaneous posts about things that have happened, strange occurrences, random thoughts, etc. That lasted about three days before I started working on a list of ideas and events on my calendar. Having that list has given me direction on a daily basis and has saved me from starting with a completely blank screen. Sometimes all it takes is a quick idea at the top of the page to get things going. It still required a lot of work but it is definitely easier getting to point B when you know where to locate point A.

Overall, I guess it just proves that creative stubbornness can sometimes be a good thing. Taking the approach of getting your thoughts down no matter what is essential in staving off what can lead to a severing of the connection between your brain and the page. This is when writing becomes work but it is what needs to be done if you want to return to creative state that is free flowing and fun. Sometimes you have to work at something before it becomes enjoyable (again).